Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(82)
“Did he hurt you? Because, I swear to God, I’ll kill him.”
“No, not like that. Not . . . physically or anything. It’s just some things about the night we met.”
“Oh,” she says as she rubs my back. “Well, that was eight years ago, right?”
“Yeah, but it’s complicated.”
“I’m sure it is, but you guys have come such a long way. I hate to see you fall apart over something that happened when you were still practically kids.”
If she knew what it was, I’m sure she wouldn’t think that. In the end, the only two people whose opinions would matter aren’t here to give them.
“I’m not sure there’s a way to fix it. Hell, I don’t know how I could overlook it even if I wanted to.”
She shakes her head. “I wish you would tell me so I could help you.”
“The details don’t matter.” Well, they do, but not in regards to her.
“Okay, then tell me without the details.”
I lean back on the couch, clutching the pillow to my chest. “Connor knew what happened to my parents.”
Her eyes widen. Sydney is aware of how my parents died and that their case had gone cold years ago. “He knew?”
“Yes, he did. He claims he didn’t know who I was when we met and that he really didn’t figure it out until four days ago, but he knew what happened that night.”
That’s the part that has me the most confused. How could he not put it together? Had I known that his father was involved in a hit and run on the same night my parents died, I would have put it together.
He didn’t.
“And do you believe him?”
“I don’t know.”
Sydney leans back, tucking her legs under her butt. “I’ve known Connor since we were kids, and he’s many things, but deceitful isn’t one. That boy couldn’t lie if a gun was held to his head. We used to have to sneak around to make sure he didn’t see us and tattle. I’m not saying he hasn’t grown up and changed, but he’s also fiercely loyal and protective. Do you think he has it in him to purposely hurt you?”
No . . . at least, I didn’t think so.
“How do you explain it then?”
“I don’t know, Ellie. I really don’t. I’ve dealt with some crazy shit in my job and then volunteering. I like to believe I’m a pretty good judge of character, and I don’t believe he could hurt you. Not ever. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I swear . . . it’s like nothing I’ve ever encountered before. There’s a fierceness in his love.”
I saw all of that too. He was always on guard, willing to do anything that would make me happy. He was patient at a time when most men probably wouldn’t have been. When he was angry, he never took it out on me or even raised his voice.
The other part of me goes to his loyalty. He was protecting the people he loved, worried that he and his brothers would take the fall for something they didn’t even do. And then I remember all he said about turning himself in. He was willing to take whatever the consequences were if it gave me peace.
I blow out a heavy breath. “Maybe it wasn’t that way. I don’t know. Either way, it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“No, I guess not. And Hadley isn’t taking it well, I guess.”
“No.” I wipe a tear. “Neither of us are. She loves him so much, and God, Syd, I do too. I love him so much, and that’s what’s killing me. How can I get past this? How do we move on from it? It doesn’t seem possible.”
She lifts her shoulders slightly before they fall. “I don’t know. Did you guys talk?”
“I lost it when I found out, and then we . . . I don’t know, it was very tense.”
She shifts a little, and there’s a faint smile on her lips.
“What?”
“You say that you don’t trust him, and I understand that you both have some issues right now, but answer me this—honestly—would you have lost it with Kevin?”
I jerk back because there’s no way in hell I would’ve. “No, he would’ve hit me. I never lost my temper. I don’t think I had emotions.”
When Sydney sits back, there’s a sort of smugness coming from her that I don’t understand. “I got all night . . .”
What the hell is her point?
So what if I got angry with Connor and I never could with . . .
“I was able to be angry,” I say as it hits me.
She grins. “If you didn’t trust him, you never could’ve yelled. You would’ve run or shut down, but you didn’t. I know that you’re angry, and you have every right in the world to be, but ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life trying to find a man even half as wonderful as Connor. You have a chance at a real family with him. He loved Hadley before he knew she was his blood. I don’t know many men like him, Ellie. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be hurt, but be hurt together and find a way through it.”
“And what if he doesn’t want me back because I left him?”
“Then he isn’t the man I think we both know him to be.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ellie