Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(79)

Connor swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing before he speaks. “We pulled over immediately, and Declan and I jumped out to help your parents while Jake and Sean went after my father, who kept driving as though it didn’t happen. We tried to help them, but . . . they were . . .”

“The coroner told me that they died instantly.” My voice sounds detached.

“When I got to their car, they weren’t breathing.”

It’s as they said. “So, you didn’t . . . try? You just ran and left them?”

“I’m not proud of what we did. You know me, Ellie.” Connor takes a step closer, but I retreat. He cannot touch me. I will lose it, and I’m barely holding on. “I’m not a monster. I was a fucking wreck, and it took my three brothers to literally pull me into the truck. I wanted to go to the cops, but we were fucking kids. We didn’t know what to do or what any of it meant. We had a plan to get him home, call the cops, and have him arrested.”

I shake my head in disgust. “Then why didn’t you?”

None of these answers do anything to quell the storm inside me. All I can focus on is that the man I love was somewhat responsible for my parents’ deaths. This entire time, I’ve thought about how much they’d love him. I hoped they’d be proud of the man I found and grew to love. How could they ever feel that way now?

“When he woke the next day, the four of us told him what he’d done. He laughed and called us fools for thinking we could get away with turning him in. It was Sean’s car that caused the accident, after all, and he said someone most likely saw Sean driving the car back to the farm around the time of the accident. We were all known troublemakers, so he threatened to tell everyone it was Sean driving the entire time.”

What a horrific man his father was. “And Sean’s car?”

The one thing that has always eluded me was what happened to the car that ran them off the road. It was the only clue we hoped to find. All we pieced together was it was a red car due to the paint transfer.

He moves toward me and then stops himself. I can see how much pain he’s in, but I need to know. “It’s in one of the storage garages on the property.”

The entire time I’d been searching, it was right next door.

“Did your father know who I was?” I barely get the words out. My heart is pounding, and it actually hurts to breathe.

“I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since the night I left. None of us had. My brothers and I left town and swore we’d never see him again. He was a manipulative piece of shit who broke everything he touched. We made a pact that we would never marry, never have children, and never be like him.”

I don’t really give a shit about his pact. Not when I feel dead inside. My fingers tremble so hard I’m worried they’ll break, but I’ve been beaten down before and I can take a punch. “Answer my question.”

“If I had to guess based on the fact that he managed to force his sons back to the one place they never wanted to step foot in again, then yes, I think he probably knew who you were.”

Unreal. What a horrific man he had to have been to use his kids to cover up a hit and run, only to turn around and be nice to Hadley and me. It’s too much. I hate him for what he’s taken from me, yet again.

“How can this be happening?” I ask aloud.

Connor steps forward again before stopping. “If I could bring him back to life to kill him myself I would. I hate him, Ellie. I would fight him over and over again, but I can’t change any of it. If we hadn’t fought that night, I would’ve never met you, and even if I lose you, God help me, you would still be the best thing in my life.”

I wipe my eyes, wondering one more thing. “That night we met, what did you really fight with your father about—the whole thing?”

He sits on the bed, head falling down as his eyes lift to mine. “I was the only brother still living here, but he found out I was leaving for boot camp in the morning. He threatened me, demanding I stay because my brothers and I were under his thumb. He told me that he had power and the ability to fuck all our lives and that I wouldn’t go to the military if I was arrested. Sean was playing college ball, Jacob just got his first acting gig on a sitcom, and Declan was already on his way with his startup. All of us had something to lose, but he didn’t. He’d already lost it all. There were only two things he cared about: my mother and this farm. I told him if he ever breathed a word about it, I would ruin his business. I’d tell every farmer, supplier, and buyer that he was an abusive drunk who killed two people and blamed his sons. We would ruin him as much as he ruined us. He told me to get out and never come back. So, I left, and I met you . . .”

My stomach plummets, and my head is fuzzy from the onslaught of information. Before I can catch my breath, I start to crumble, and then Connor’s arms are around me. I bury my face against his chest. I cry for my parents, who lost their lives on the side of the road. I cry for the four boys, whose father was so heinous he used his sons to get away with murder. And I cry for myself and everything I’d lost.

For what I am still going to lose when I walk out of this room.

I cry because I’ve never loved another the way I love him and I can’t stay. I let it all out in the comfort of his arms because I’m not strong enough to do it any other way.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie. You have no idea. I hate myself. I wish I could go back in time, but I can’t. Please don’t fucking leave me. I love you and will spend the rest of my life proving that to you. Please, say you won’t leave me.”