Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(16)

“Good,” Silas says, his voice low and… possessive. Every once in a while, I wonder if he might like me a little too, but then I remind myself that he wouldn’t be going out of his way to avoid me at the shelter if he did.

“Anyway,” I murmur. “How are you? I haven’t spoken to you in so long.”

“I’m fine, sweet girl. Ricardo has officially hired me to become a part-time house manager. He wants to retire soon, and he’s giving me the job until I graduate in two years. He’s made it clear that he expects me to find a well-paying corporate job then, but in the meantime, this is a good gig. It’ll give them time to find the perfect long-term candidate too.”

“What will the job entail?” I ask, curious. I’ve never really asked Ricardo what his exact job is, because he seems to do everything. Surely Silas doesn’t have time to be studying at Astor College and do Ricardo’s job on top of it?

“It’s mostly monitoring and implementing house rules, screening everyone’s belongings when they come in, conducting facility searches for drugs and weapons, keeping track of different kinds of inventory, and a whole lot of admin work. It’s a lot of stuff that I’m already doing anyway, except they’ll pay me for it now, and I’ll get my own bedroom with its own shower, so I won’t have to sleep in the big hall anymore. I’m never going to spend another night in any of those bunk beds. Not ever again.”

I’m not sure what to say to him. “It’s definitely better than sleeping in the big hall, but remember what you told me, okay? Never lose sight of the big picture. You can’t stay there, Silas.”

“I know,” he murmurs. “I know, and I won’t. I have big plans for the future, Alanna. I won’t give up on them, but this is a step forward, even if it doesn’t sound that way. None of my belongings are ever safe in the shelter, no matter how hard Ricardo tries to make this place more of a home than a shelter. I have to carry a backpack with me wherever I go, and I’m dying to finally have a space of my own again. Having my own bedroom means I’ll be able to store my things somewhere, and it means I’ll be able to wear a neat suit to job interviews. I won’t be bound to curfews, either.”

“You’re right,” I whisper. “I’m sorry, Silas. I just… I just really believe in you, you know? I just know you’re meant for so much more.”

He falls silent for a moment, and I wonder if I’ve misspoken. “I’ll get there,” he says eventually. “One step at a time. Per aspera ad astra.”

“What does that mean?” I ask, the words sounding vaguely familiar.

“Through adversity to the stars,” he says, his voice soft. “Those are the words I remind myself of when things get tough. The biggest accomplishments don’t come without hardship, and this is the same. Things might feel tough right now, but that’s because I’m reaching for the stars. The loftier the goal, the tougher the obstacles, but it’s worth it.”

I twist in bed as I think over his words. The two of us are quiet for a moment, but it’s a comforting silence. “Hey, Si?”

“Yes, my love?”

“You owe me a question.”

“Ask,” he says, his tone lazy. I wonder if he’s in bed, like I am. We’ve been on the phone for far longer than I thought we’d be, and I’m enjoying it more than I expected.

“Can I call you again?”

He chuckles, and I grin. “Yes,” he says, his voice low. “You can call me whenever you want, Alanna.”

“You don’t mind? Please be honest with me, Si. I don’t want to be a burden to you, and I don’t want you to be nice to me because Ricardo made you.”

Silas is quiet for a moment, and I worry I was right. “Alanna,” he says eventually. “Despite the situation I’m in, I’m not easily coerced. No one has ever made me spend time with you, nor is anyone forcing me to speak to you. I’ll probably regret this, because I know damn well I should keep my distance from you, but I’m going to say it anyway. You brighten up my days, and though I shouldn’t, I enjoy being around you. Call me, Alanna. Call me every night if you want to.”

I can’t help the way my heart races, giddiness washing over me as a wide grin spreads across my face. “Okay,” I whisper.

“Okay,” he repeats.

I don’t know how he’s done it, but Silas managed to turn a lonely evening into one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time, and he isn’t even with me. I’m already looking forward to the conversations we’re going to have, and I suspect he might be too.





Chapter Ten





Alanna



“Dad?” I clench my phone tighter as I look in the mirror in the restaurant’s bathroom. “Where are you? It’s getting pretty late.”

I’ve been trying to call him all night, and by the time he finally picked up, I’d already given up our table. I don’t think he even realizes it’s my birthday today.

“Sorry, darling,” he says, sounding tired. “There’s so much going wrong at work that I had to stay late. I won’t even try to hide this from you anymore, Alanna, because I can’t. The company is collapsing, and I’m trying to keep it together with my bare hands, but I can’t. I can’t do it.”