Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(19)

He smiles at me and nods, but I see the insecurity in his eyes. Before I have a chance to even attempt to reassure him, he reaches back into his pocket and takes out a thin glass canister with paper inside it. “This,” he tells me, “is for next year.”

He tips his head toward the tree, and I follow his gaze. “My mother and I planted this tree over a decade ago,” he says. “Every year, my father would take me here for my birthday, to my mother’s favorite place. She and I had a tradition, you see… every year on my birthday, she’d draw me a picture, and I’d draw her one. We then put them in glass bottles and buried them. Throughout the year, we’d try to guess what the other had drawn, right down to the last detail. Whoever got closest would win a wish that the other had to fulfill. It was a silly competition, but it was ours.”

I look around again, seeing this place through fresh eyes. We aren’t trespassing at all, not really… this place should belong to Silas, and I have no doubt that one day it will again. “Si, that’s your tradition with her,” I whisper. “Something like that… you should share that with someone special.”

He kneels down in front of me and looks up at me. “I am, Ray,” he whispers.

“Ray?”

He nods. “I’ve been calling you by your name for far too long. You need a nickname. I thought of calling you sunshine, but I’ve spent too many days in the blistering sun, desperate for a glass of water. You’re a ray of sunshine, a ray of light, a ray of hope in an otherwise dark, bleak world. You’re enough to illuminate my path, yet I always want more.”

My eyes widen, and Silas smiles at me, his expression tender. When he looks at me like that, he gives me hope that someday, he and I could be more than friends.

Silas tears his gaze away and I watch as he digs through the dirt with his bare hands before burying the bottle, my heart racing wildly the entire time. He pushes the dirt flat onto the ground, securing the treasure he buried before brushing his hands against each other.

Si rises to his feet, towering above me, his eyes on mine. “Now you’ve got one of my firsts too, Alanna. You’re the first woman I’ve ever drawn a portrait of, unless we’re counting the childish doodles I shared with my mom. You’re the first woman I’ve brought here, the first one to have received a birthday card from me.”

I take a step closer to him and place my palms against his chest, my heart racing. “Next year,” I whisper. “Next year, I’ll bring a gift of my own too. I can’t draw, Si… but I’ll think of something.”

He smirks and places his hands on my waist, his touch far more intimate than usual. “I’m looking forward to it,” he whispers. Then he takes a step away from me, almost as though he physically wants to distance himself from me, and I sigh. Every once in a while, I catch a glimpse of what could be, if he’d let it… and tonight I want it more than ever before.

“Will you tell me about your favorite memories in this place?”

“Not counting the one we’re creating right now?” he replies, and I blush.

Si drops back down to the ground with a smile on his face. I watch him as he takes off his hoodie, his t-shirt riding up with it and exposing his abs. He places it on the ground and tips his head toward it. My eyes widen, and I freeze. Why would he do that for me? I know how long he has to wait to wash his clothes at the shelter, yet he so carelessly threw his hoodie on the floor… for me.

My heart aches as I sit down next to him. Si smiles at me, and my heart starts to race. I’m falling for him, and I know I’ll never have him. Silas has made that much clear. Even if there’s a spark between us, he won’t act on it.

“My darling Ray, let me tell you about the time I peed my pants because a squirrel attacked me,” he says, and I grin. He’s single-handedly turned the worst birthday I’ve ever had into the best one I could’ve wished for. I’m already looking forward to next year, and I have a feeling he is too.





Chapter Eleven





Silas



I stare at the notice on the door, informing us that today’s seminar was canceled. Why didn’t I receive an email about that? I’d have left straight after my last lecture if I’d known. I groan and turn back around in a rush to get back to the shelter. Maybe I’ll get to see her today, if I’m fast enough.

“Hey, Silas?”

I pause, surprised at the sound of my name. A tall blonde smiles at me, her expression hopeful. I’ve seen her in my seminars before, but I don’t think we’ve ever spoken a word to each other. To say I’m a loner at college would be putting it mildly. For one, I’m older than most of my classmates, because I started two years later than I was supposed to. Besides, it’s unsettling to be around people who are so carefree, who take the educational opportunities they’re given for granted. It’s strange to be surrounded by people who are exactly what I’d be like if Mona hadn’t kicked me out.

“Regina, right?”

Her eyes widen, as though she’s surprised I know who she is, and then she smiles. How could I not know her? I hear guys talking about her at every turn. We might never have formally met before, but I know she’s a cheerleader, and she seems to be every guy’s biggest fantasy. Personally, I don’t see it. I much prefer petite women with dark hair and sassy mouths that hide a heart of gold… perfect hazel eyes, and lips I’m dying to taste. Yeah, Regina is not my type.