Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(17)

I don’t get why he even tried to keep this from me. Did he truly think that I didn’t notice the things that went missing from our house? First it was his watch, then it was the paintings he loved so much. After that, Mom’s diamonds disappeared. My credit card hasn’t worked in months, and I never even told him, because he fought so hard to keep this from me.

“What can I do, Dad? How can I help you?”

“Nothing, sweetie. Just keep doing what you do, okay? Keep staying strong for me, keep smiling for me, and please, sweetie. Please be patient with me. I won’t be able to get away from work for another few hours, so don’t worry about me. You just have dinner, all right?”

I inhale shakily, part of me wanting to remind him that today is my seventeenth birthday, but I won’t. “Of course, Dad. Don’t worry about me. You just focus on work. I’ll be fine.”

Dad pauses for a moment, and then he sighs. “I love you, Alanna. I’ll make this up to you. I promise.”

I force a smile onto my face, though he can’t see me. “I’m looking forward to it,” I tell him. “See you later, Dad. Don’t be home too late, okay?”

I end the call as I walk out of the restaurant I made a reservation at several months ago. I’ve been looking forward to tonight for so long, but I should’ve known something would go wrong. Every time I think I’ll get to spend some time with Dad, something happens, and I end up being all alone.

I’m getting tired of it, but volunteering at the shelter makes me understand why he works the way he does. I can see his fears, and I don’t dare act selfish. I don’t dare tell him that I want his time, that I miss him. I’m shaking as I get into my car, unsure where to even go.

For a little while, I did what Silas told me to do, but even when I’m at his office, he doesn’t really notice me. I was hoping to chat with him every once in a while, and I really wanted to better understand what Dad does, but my presence only seemed to stress him out more, so I stopped going.

I drive around aimlessly, only half surprised when I find myself pulling up at the shelter without even consciously realizing that I drove there. I park in front of the building and check the time. It’s eight o’clock, so there are two hours left before lights out. I grab my phone, unsure of whether or not I should call Silas.

Over the last couple of weeks, we’ve definitely become friends, and we talk to each other almost every night, but somehow I feel conflicted about calling him tonight. I don’t want to force him to spend time with me, and I know that if I call him, he’ll come out to see me.

I bite down on my lip, but in the end, selfishness wins, and I press the dial button. He picks up almost immediately, and I can’t help but smile.

“If it isn’t the birthday girl. Happy birthday, sweet girl.”

“Thank you,” I murmur. I wonder if he realizes that he’s the only one who’s wished me a happy birthday today. I doubt it, and I want to keep it that way.

“How was dinner with your dad? I kinda thought it’d last much longer.”

“Oh, it’s great,” I lie. “I just went to the bathroom to touch up my lipstick, and somehow I found myself thinking of you. I wasn’t sure how long the evening would last, so I thought I’d call you. Don’t want you to feel neglected, after all. What would you do with yourself if I don’t call you before bed? I’m not sure you’d be able to sleep, you know? How could I do that to you?”

He bursts out laughing, and a soft giggle escapes my lips. I’ve barely spoken to him for a minute, and he’s already turned my night around. I lean back in my seat and let my eyes fall closed as I focus on his voice.

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “I’ve kinda grown accustomed to hearing your voice before bed. I wasn’t sure I’d get to speak to you tonight, but I was hoping I would.”

Our daily calls are the highlight of my day. Even now, he’s rarely at the shelter when I go to volunteer, but I don’t mind it as much. When I see him, things are somewhat odd between us. He’s distant in person, but over the phone? Over the phone, it feels like he’s mine.

I’m startled when I hear knocking on my window, and my eyes fly open. I sit up, surprised to find Silas standing next to my car, his phone still against his ear. “I had a feeling I’d find you here.” He walks around the car and I unlock the door for him as he ends our call.

“What are you doing here?” I ask when he gets in beside me, shocked. “How did you know?”

He smiles and leans back in the passenger seat. “Your voice, Alanna. Over the last couple of months, I’ve learned to read every single one of your emotions through your voice. You’ve never sounded as upset as you did tonight. I knew you weren’t at the restaurant, so I followed my instincts, and they led me right to you.”

I let my eyes roam over him, taking in the slight stubble that only accentuates his strong jaw, the slightly long hair, and those lips I’ve been wanting to taste. “You can’t read every one of my emotions, Si,” I whisper.

“Yeah,” he whispers back. “I can.”

His eyes drop to my lips, and then he tears his gaze away. Silas has never crossed the line with me, and each time I try to, he reminds me that he’s five years older than I am. He’s been rejecting me subtly, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.