The Ugly Duckling Debutante (House of Renwick #1)(37)

Like father like son, a little voice chimed annoyingly in his head.

“Time for bed,” he whispered to Duncan, and Sai handed him back to the nurse.

As he helped Sai into the carriage to return to Lady Fenton’s home, Nicholas knew what he would do; he would locate Sai’s family and explain the situation to them. Surely they wouldn’t want such scandal blackening their name, and then he would offer as much money as it took to make sure Sai had a chance to find a love match. She deserved that, not some pitiful marriage to a second or third son. By next season the gentlemen would forget she’d been ruined by him and set about to marry her anyway. He shook his head. What was he thinking? Could he honestly live without her touch? Her laughter? It would be the most extreme type of self sacrifice to let her go, yet he could tell that she was holding something back. It wasn’t in her nature to hide things; she was one of the most honest people he knew. It had to be disappointment, for she knew it would be impossible to have his heart, the one thing she wanted most. Dare he try to give her the most precious part of himself? Broken pieces that might never be whole?

Shaking the conflicting thoughts from his head he grabbed a sheet of paper and penned a quick note to Lady Fenton explaining the situation. Hopefully she would understand it was the best option for Sai. He inquired about Sai's family and asked her to write back with all haste. He sent the note off with one of his men, managing to make it all the way up the stairs into his chambers before dozing off.





Chapter Thirteen



Sara couldn’t remember a time when she had slept more poorly than last night. Her thoughts went back to the previous night. What had come over her? She had no idea. But when Nicholas walked into the room and proudly met the faces of the ton, she had been left with no choice. It was obvious what everyone expected her to do. Shun him, break off the engagement and walk away. Impossible to play into their silly games. Yes, she had been hurt, but what good would it be to take it out on those around her. Those she cared about. Because despite everything Nicholas had said and done, she cared deeply for him, at the expense of her own feelings.

Yawning, she descended the great stairs to her aunt’s breakfast table, eyes swollen with sleeplessness. A mere twelve hours ago she had received the news of Nicholas’s scandalous past, and then met Nicholas’s dear son. It was a tragic situation; but the real tragedy was Duncan no longer had a mother to look after him, and poor Nicholas looked like he didn’t know whether to run from the child or hug him.

Nicholas hadn’t said much to her last night after Duncan went to bed. He kissed her hand and thanked her again, making her knees weak at his tender touch. He said he would call on her today which was enough to drag her out of bed at this ungodly hour instead of sleeping until noon.

She felt vulnerable and feared that everyone around her could see how unsure she was about everything. Her hands shook as she sat down at the table and grabbed her tea cup. Her aunt cleared her throat but didn’t look up from her tea until Sara finished a piece of hard toast.

“My dear, Nicholas is waiting for you in the study,” her aunt said rather awkwardly.

Sara knew he would be calling on her today, but it was extremely early for him to be showing up at her home. Normally a gentleman waited until noon. She had risen early because she had to gather her thoughts. She excused herself and hurried into the study to find Nicholas lying on the loveseat with his eyes closed. He looked like an angel; too bad there was something of a devil present as well. However, if she had to admit it to herself, she very much liked both personalities, when they were kept in balance.

She sauntered over to the couch and nudged his foot. A sound very much like a snore escaped him, but he didn’t move. Irritated, she pushed him harder, nearly losing her own balance in the process. Unfortunately for Nicholas, he was already off balance from leaning back on the loveseat and promptly went tumbling to the floor. Mumbling an oath, he brought his hands out just in time to catch himself.

“Oh no, have you fallen?”

He shot her an irritated look and gathered himself back into his seat. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you never to wake a sleeping man?”

“Of course, I merely thought I was waking a bear, my mistake.” She curtsied and flashed him a smile.

“I want to know who you are,” he said with eyes piercing into hers. The teasing was officially over. Her stomach did a few flip flops before she rose and faced the fireplace.

“Not lies, Sai, the truth. This is your first season, yet you are one and twenty. Nobody has heard of you, and I know nothing of your origin. Are you orphaned?”

Her laugh was hollow. “I wish.”

“What a terribly confusing thing to say.” His breath was hot on her neck, and she realized he was standing directly behind her. “Do you have brothers or sisters? Is your family rich or poor?”

She nodded but then shook it as if she was confused herself. Then Sara turned to face him. “I guess I owe you this much, considering what I know about you.”

He wrapped his arms around her and possessively pulled Sara into his embrace. “I was thinking that exact same thing.” He walked away and pulled the cord. “Which is why I arranged a picnic for us on my estate. We will go riding, eat, drink wine, play with Duncan—if he’s had his nap—and you will tell me all about yourself, Sai, including why you are really in London.”