The Ugly Duckling Debutante (House of Renwick #1)(40)

Lisa was his first real love. He thought she would be his only love. The duchess had hated her name and despised anyone to call her anything except for “Your Grace.” But often she allowed Nicholas to call her by her first name. He relished the times they had enjoyed the intimacy of using first names, which unfortunately, were only when they were alone grasped in sin.

He sighed just as Sara put her hand on his arm. “How could I be ashamed of you? I’ll admit, currently you’re a mess. But you’ve been a good friend, and a loving father for bringing Duncan back.. You will be an excellent husband, and most of all, you tried to make something good out of what happened so long ago. How foolish would it be for me to hold your past sins against you? God doesn’t, so why would I?”

Such a simple answer, but it was like balm for his torn heart. It made him want to do anything in his power to make sure Sara never spent a day, never had a moment when she might feel unhappy. He would rather be a servant in her household than never see her again. That thought alone was humbling for someone of his selfish past.

He pulled her arms to him and kissed her palms, letting his face caress her hands as if they were the finest silk in the land, which is exactly what it felt like to him.

“I guess we should tell Lady Fenton that we wish to proceed?” he suggested.

Sara giggled. “Poor Aunt. She’s probably had more attention this week than in her entire life. Yes, let’s tell her. We’ll have the wedding breakfast at Fenton House and the ceremony in one of the small churches?”

The last part was more of a question, leaving Nicholas panicked. If they married in a church, the whole of the ton would want to come just to see if the bride left the groom standing at the altar. Sara seemed to notice the panic in his face. “You know, we can always do a small ceremony and a reception at Fenton House afterwards?”

He exhaled slowly, finally releasing the air he had been harboring over the last few seconds, and smiled. “I just want you to be happy, Sara. Your wish is my command.”

“In that case…I want a pony.”

“So almost any wish.”

“An island?”

He laughed.

“How about a pony on an island?”

He shook his head. “I’ll see what I can do.”

She giggled. “Too much? Well, on second thought, I guess you’ll just have to do.”

“Your ability to humble me is extraordinary,” he beamed and pulled her into a kiss.

“Get used to it,” she whispered against his lips. Nicholas responded by tackling her and stealing the strawberries.





Chapter Fourteen



Sara walked through the doors of her aunt’s house, giddy with delight. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest. Impossible for her to contain her excitement; with every breath he heart threatened to explode. It took every ounce of self-control just to keep herself from smiling everywhere she went. She was getting married in a few days to the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Sure, scandal seemed to follow him at every turn, and he did have a son out of wedlock, but she found herself inexplicably drawn to him. In a way, they needed each other. Nicholas’s heart was half-broken from past mistakes, and hers was just starting to beat again and regain courage after a childhood riddled with neglect and scorn from the people who should have loved her most. The two of them could find love in each other, or so she hoped.

It was easy to see Nicholas still wanted to punish himself. In spite of his disclosure about the contract for the first year of their marriage, he escorted her home earlier that day and explained their plans to Lady Fenton.

Sara expected her to be shocked, but she merely said she assumed as much and had already made some inquires as to which churches were available for the ceremony. Sara had to admit her aunt was surprising her more and more each day.

“Sara?” Her aunt’s voice was soft and cautious behind the closed door of her room.

“Yes?” she answered.

“May I speak with you?”

Sara opened the door to her aunt and Davina holding a tray of tea and biscuits. “Of course, Aunt. Do come in.”

They sat near the fireplace silently eating the biscuits and drinking tea. Her aunt was the first to break the silence. “Davina, will you excuse us, please?”

Davina flashed a worried glance toward Sara and curtsied.

Lady Fenton’s hands were trembling as she put her teacup back onto the tray. “My dear, I have a confession to make.”

“Another?” Sara asked before realizing how sarcastic it would sound. She opened her mouth to apologize, but her aunt smiled in response. She was probably used to Sara speaking before thinking.

“Yes, I know. It seems I’ve done nothing but hide the truth from you and manipulate you, but I do believe your marriage will be a love match—if he lets you in, that is.” So, her aunt also saw how much he guarded himself; she would need to work with him on becoming more vulnerable.

“I want to talk to you about your parents.”

Sara’s stomach clenched at the thought of her parents. Their treatment of her, as if she was an unwelcome stranger in her own home. “What about my parents?”

“You have to understand, my dear. They did the best they could, given the circumstances. I owe them so much more than I’m willing to admit.” Her aunt was beginning to pale as the conversation drew on. “I was so young when it happened. I had no idea the consequences of my choice. I wanted to marry an earl or a viscount. I had no other options.”