The Ugly Duckling Debutante (House of Renwick #1)(42)

Sara licked her lips to ask the question she had been dreading, “What was the duke’s name?” She corrected herself adding, “My father’s name?”

Lady Fenton smiled weakly. “William Blaire the Duke of Haines.”

The name was familiar, even to Sara. The Duke of Haines had been one of the most widely known dukes of the ton before his death. He had more money than the rest of the lords put together. He also had a notorious reputation of being a philanderer and a shrewd businessman. No wonder his wife wanted to get away from him. She had to be no older than sixteen when they married. That meant the duke was in his early forties when he died.

“He was five and forty when he died, my dear,” Lady Fenton said softly. “I was a mere child when we were together, only sixteen myself. His bride was sixteen when they married, leaving a large gap between their years. She, of course, never knew about me. Nobody knew about me. Like I said, my own husband had no idea until a year ago.”

“Why tell me now? Why now?” Sara’s voice wavered with emotion. She wanted nothing more than to sink into Nicholas's arms and tell him the whole story. She ached for his comforting touch, but willed herself to remain strong here with her aunt… her mother.

“It is time, Sara. Time you know the truth. You are lovely. Everything about you is pure and untouched. You have a pure heart and innocent nature, and you must know that you have the rarest beauty, my dear—I can’t change the past, but I hope to change your future.”

Sara nodded, unable to speak anymore. “I’m tired,” she managed to say.

“I should say so,” Lady Fenton whispered. “Sleep well, my dear. I will send Davina when it is time to dress for dinner.”

Sara yawned and tumbled into her bed, not bothering to remove her soiled afternoon dress or her walking shoes. It had been a wonderful day with Nicholas and a long painful afternoon with her aunt… her mother. What was she to call her now? That was the least of her worries…she had a wedding to plan. All she needed to do was to make it through the vows, so Nicholas would have no way to back out. Her heart was too involved with his now; to pull out of the wedding now would surely kill her.

Exhaustion swept over her, and she sighed heavily. She had no idea when it happened. It may have even been the first moment they touched, but she loved him. Sara knew he may never reciprocate, but she clung to the hope her love would be enough for both of them. It must be enough, especially with the troubled waters ahead. The ton could somehow gain information about her past and use it against them. But for now, she was content to fall asleep thinking about Nicholas’s deep kisses and tender touches, and about a time in her life when things were not this complicated.





Chapter Fifteen



Nicholas woke up refreshed. Today he would be getting married. Sara had done an excellent job of keeping things private; it made his heart constrict at the thought of her sacrifice. She was marrying him in a small ceremony rather than for the ton to see—a girl like her should be seen on her wedding day. He did have some surprises for her, surprises that would surely seal her fate as the future Countess of Renwick.

He tried to wipe the indelible smile off his face but failed. He couldn’t help how happy he was. Not only was he getting married, but little Duncan had warmed up to Sara like a child would to his own mother. It was truly touching seeing them together. Maybe he wouldn’t have to annul the marriage after all. Maybe by the end of the year, he would feel like they were a family, and stop punishing himself for his past sins. God knew Nicholas wanted someone to love him and someone whom he could love back. He was on the road to that kind of love with Sara. They only needed more time, the time afforded to them by pledging themselves to each other today.

Hopefully the time he spent wooing her after the wedding would suffice to heal his shame-ridden heart and create the possibility for a lasting marriage, without the nagging scandal that now hung over them. If it were only up to him, he would commit to eternity this instant, but he feared his selfish motives would lead to more pain for Sara. He was still deeply wounded, not sure if he would ever be whole enough to be a good husband. Yet he felt a bit of hope that possibly Sara had faith in him that he could be the man of her dreams. The man she deserved.

He only wished Sara’s parents could make it to the wedding. When he questioned her about their attendance, she turned quiet and changed the subject. Not at all like the Sara he’d grown to care for over the past few days. Nicholas decided to allow the subject to drop. After all, they hadn’t provided her a dowry, so it was not surprising they cared so little about their daughter's nuptials. Obviously, they weren’t a close family. He wanted to remedy that as soon as possible, when he made his surprise visit to them after the honeymoon.

Nicholas stretched out of his bed and went to the bath. He wasn’t one to admit his affinity for the bath, considering only women bathed daily, but it felt good on his sore muscles. He had been up late the past few nights making sure everything was in place for his new bride. He had paid a very high price to have her room redecorated but it was to be a surprise for her. The finishing preparations were completed early that morning, and his body was paying for it.

He washed himself and hummed a tune then his valet came in to dress him. Sara had chosen a beautiful velvet coat with gold buttons for him to wear. She had no idea the gold was solid, but it wasn’t as if he couldn’t afford it. He wanted to spare no expense. Lady Fenton actually shed a tear when he also paid for Sara's wedding dress. In all honesty, Lady Fenton was more emotional than Sara. You’d think she was the one getting married with as much fuss as she had made over the decorations and food.