The Do-Over(59)

I understand, Stacy. I understand. And I don’t judge you.

Oh Stace. I am so, so sorry. I really am going to miss you so very much. Never in a million years did I ever expect our paths to cross again and I certainly never would have ever guessed that you and I would become friends. But I’m glad we did. You know you really got under my skin – and I mean that in a good way.

I don’t know that I’m going to be able to honor your last request to me, to take care of your brother. Lord knows I would love to, so that you can rest in peace. But that is truly up to Wes. I can’t want him to want me in his life. It was a cruel twist of fate to find the two of you again after all these years, just to lose you both. I really saw us as all becoming family and I’m heartbroken that the three of us will not be growing old together. I feel like I’d been given this great gift, only to have it robbed from me.

Bitch, I’m going to miss you!

I’m fighting with myself now about calling or texting your brother. I want to reach out to him. Comfort him. But he made it clear that he can’t deal with me and wanted space. And I know I should respect that and just give him my condolences on Thursday. But it’s so hard not to reach out, because I want to be there for him. That is what you do for people you love. And I do, I love him. And I loved you too, you ornery bitch.

Damn, I’m going to miss you.

There was only one right thing to do. And I knew that. Whether he wanted it or not.

Wes – Chris just told me. I am so, so sorry. I just can’t believe it. I’m really going to miss her a lot and I’m glad we had the opportunity to become friends. If there is anything you need, please don’t hesitate. I’m here. ~ T



Curled up like a cat on my couch with her legs tucked under her, Laynie took another sip of her wine. “Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?”

“Thank you, but no. I’ll be okay. There’s a whole work contingent going. So, I will just blend in with them.”

“Have you slept? You look like shit.”

Rubbing my burning eyes, I shook my head. “Not very much. I’m just devastated over everything. My heart actually hurts. I wasn’t ready for the two of them to be ripped away from me.”

“Have you heard from him at all?”

“No. I’m sure he has his hands full with arrangements and dealing with the situation with me would be overload.” I reached for my wine glass on the coffee table.

Laynie gave me the look that says, I call bullshit. “I’m sure he is overwhelmed and hurting. He lost the last member of his immediate family, but he owed you a phone call to let you know what happened. You were taking the woman to chemo and visiting her in the hospital.”

“I know. You’re right. This just reaffirms that he wants me out of his life. So, I will stay out of his life. I need to get through tomorrow and the Breast Cancer event in October and that will be it. I’m sure after this round of videos, he won’t be using O’Donnell & Associates in the future. So, he will be out of my life again and I will move on. It’s not like I haven’t done it before.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me there tomorrow for moral support?” Laynie looked concerned.

Shaking my head. “No. I’ll be okay. I’ll have Jonathan and Chris there with me.”

“Yeah, but I know how you are.” Laynie was referring to my almost phobic fear of funerals. “This way you could take a little something to relax before you leave and I could drive.”

“I’ll be okay,” I assured her. What I didn’t admit was that if I took something, I was fearful of having my guard down and being around Julien. If he dared to verbally accost me, I wanted to be sharp and able to defend myself.



I made sure I didn’t leave too early. The last thing I wanted was to be there with a lot of time before the service began. My plan was to stay for the service, give my condolences to Wes and exit as quickly as was socially acceptable. I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to attend the graveside service after the funeral home or the repast that was taking place after that. Paying my respects here allowed me to properly say goodbye to Stacy without becoming a burden for Wes. I needed to grieve. But I needed to do that privately.

The O’Donnell & Associates team was in a pew about halfway back. Sliding in, I sat next to Jonathan.

“Hey Sweetie.” He kissed my cheek. “Have you seen Wes?”

“No. Not yet.” I noticed the front pew was empty.

“I think he went off with the funeral director.”

My eyes focused on the simple wooden coffin at the front, covered in a blanket of purple irises. They were beautiful and I wondered if they were Stacy’s favorite flower. It was hard to imagine Stacy lying in that box, she had been such a force to be reckoned with. Pulling out a tissue, I started dabbing my eyes. Change your thoughts, Tara, I told myself. Think of something totally nasty that Stacy said.

“The first time I met her, she made me cry.” I whispered to Jonathan.

“Oh no, what did she do to you?” He looked shocked and amused.

“She told me to stay away from her brother. She said he had a girlfriend who was an actress that looked like Sharon Stone and that he’d never leave her for me.”

Dramatically, Jonathan’s hand flew to his mouth. “She did not.”