The Do-Over(56)

“Mom, what is wrong with you? Stop!” I barely heard my daughter.

I couldn’t stop yet. I wasn’t done. I needed to complete the job or it wouldn’t work.

“Aunt Laynie,” Scarlett screamed.

A moment later, Laynie was on the bed next to me. Scarlett remained in the doorway, her fingers clenching the wooden doorframe.

“Tara. Tara. Stop,” Laynie implored. “Tara, stop!”

But I couldn’t. I needed to finish. I couldn’t stop yet. And I stabbed and stabbed again.

“Tara, who is this doll?” I didn’t answer and Laynie repeated the question. Finally, grabbing my right arm mid-air, she asked the question for the third time.

With my wrist tightly in her grip, I choked out, “Stacy. It’s Stacy.” I needed her to let me go. Let me finish.

“Tara, why are you killing Stacy? Did she do something to you?”

Shaking my head, I sniffed, trying to breathe through my stuffed nose. “I’m not trying to kill Stacy. I’m trying to save her.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m killing the cancer cells, Laynie. I have to kill the cancer cells in her lungs. I need to get them all,” I cried and wrenched my wrist free of her grasp so that I could continue on my mission to heal Stacy.

Laynie’s arm went around me, “Okay Sweetie,” she said softly. “Kill all those nasty cells. Kill them all,” her voice choked up with emotion.

Scarlett joined us on the bed, flanking my other side as I continued to stab. When the poppets chest was just batting, I stopped.

“Julien told him.” I looked at Laynie, fresh tears making their way down my cheeks.

“I thought he knew.”

“Me too. But obviously not.”

“Holy crap. And he heard it from him first. Well, what did he say to you?”

Trying not to totally break down, though after what my daughter had already witnessed tonight, there was very little left that I could do that would shock her. “He ended things.”

“Oh Tara.” Laynie’s arms went around me tighter.

Scarlett remained silent, but laid her head in my lap. Softly, I ran my fingers repeatedly through her long hair, the repetitive motion calming me.

“So, it’s been a pretty shitty night. Stacy’s chemo didn’t work and Wes told me to take a hike.”

“I wish you had an extra doll for Julien,” Laynie muttered.

I actually laughed. “I’ve thought that on more than one occasion.”

“So, why the blue pin?” she asked.

“You know how a beautiful blue sky makes you feel good, that anything’s possible? The sky’s the limit. It’s like infinite hope. And right now, we need hope. We need infinite hope.”





Chapter 20


As I went to enter Stacy’s room, I saw a tall, white-coated doctor by her bedside and remained in the hallway, so that I could give them privacy.

“Tara,” Stacy called to me. “Come on in.”

“Hi.” I approached judiciously.

The doctor turned to me and extended his hand. “Bray Hamilton.”

Taking his hand, instead of uttering an appropriate hello, the words, “You are beautiful,” sprang forth from my lips.

Stacy laughed, “I know, isn’t he? Dr. Hamilton, this inappropriate woman is my friend, Tara.”

“Nice to meet you.” He smiled and to his already overwhelming features, dimples were now added. Tall with an athletic build, Bray Hamilton was of mixed race. With high cheekbones, green eyes and skin the color of Cappuccino, he was one of the finest looking men I had ever laid eyes on.

Turning back to Stacy, “Okay, let me take a listen to your lungs. Breathe in deeply for me.” He began with his stethoscope on her chest. Moving it, “Again.” And now to her back, “Take another deep breath for me. And another.” Moving the stethoscope again, “Please say the letter E for me.” Stacy complied. “And again. Okay, you can lie back now. I’m now hearing some crackling in there, so I’m going to order another set of x-rays.”

“What does crackling indicate?” Stacy asked.

“Well, it could mean fluid,” he explained.

“Like pneumonia?” It was the first time I heard alarm in Stacy’s voice.

“That is a possibility.” He was frank, but calm.

“But I’m already on antibiotics.” Stacy searched his face.

“What we’ve got you on for the type of lung infection you have is not something we typically use to fight pneumonia. Let’s get them in here to take some pictures so that we know what we’re dealing with and come up with a course to address it. Let me go put in those orders now.”

“Fuck,” Stacy screamed as soon as he left the room.

“Let’s think positive until we know what’s what.” Hope. We still needed hope.

“I think it’s going to come back positive. My upper back is killing me.”

Shit.

“Have you heard from Wes?” she asked.

“No.” I shook my head.

Stacy sighed. “What a dumbass. This is when he needs you most.”

“I think that windjammer has sailed, Stace. I can’t imagine Julien letting up on trashing me to Wes.”