Joshua Healy (The Mitchell/Healy Family #10)(55)

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out something is wrong. I don’t get emotional. I sure as hell never cry. I’m the rock, except in this case.

My dad takes one look at me, clenches his jaw, and asks for a minute so he can talk to me. Both of my uncles, Colt and Ty, go into the house to give us privacy.

My dad begins with what I would expect. “What have you done now?”

“I f*cked up,” I start. “Dad, I f*cked up so bad I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.”

He sits his beer down and leans on an old metal drum while listening. “Go on.”

“Remember when Tamsyn went to Mexico; that night we got shit-faced in the barn?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Liv showed up after you and Mom left me. I barely remember it, but we slept together.”

“You what?” He’s standing straight up, and from the look on his face I need to be prepared for what’s coming. “You better be bullshitting me, son.”

I sigh. “I wish I was.”

“Does Tamsyn know?”

“She does now.”

“Where is she?”

“At the big house. She doesn’t want me near her. I’m losing her, dad. I screwed everything up.”

“Well that’s what happens when you screw around.”

I’m pissed he assumes I wanted this. “You think I’d screw Liv on purpose? She seduced me when I was trashed. I hardly remembered it. That’s why I never said anything. I never wanted this.”

“You let it happen, because like it or not, you still have unresolved feelings for Olivia.”

“No!” I argue. “I hate that bitch.”

“Don’t raise your voice at me.” He’s warning me to calm down, but I’m too distraught to listen.

“You’re not hearing me,” I yell back. “You never do.”

He’s up in my face. “You f*cked up, Josh. Don’t put this on anyone else.”

I shove him, and that’s when it gets a little crazy. We’re rolling around on the garage floor, having a battle of who is the strongest, when Uncle Colt storms in and breaks us up. I point to my father. “I should have known I couldn’t count on you. You’ve never understood me.” I smash my fist into the drywall. For some reason it helps for a few seconds, until my uncle sets me off again. “Josh, walk it off. Go on, get out of here.”

I kick a empty gas container across the room and exit the building. My dad is right behind me. “Josh, wait.”

“Why? Why should I? You can’t help me. No one can make it better. Liv is pregnant. She claims she’s having my kid. I saw the tests. They were all positive. Congrats, you’re going to be another grandfather. I’m sure it’s just what you want to hear.”

My dad takes a few deep breaths. He shakes his head and then puts his hand on my shoulder. In a matter of seconds he’s pulling me into a hug. He’s never acted this way with me. It’s like he somehow senses my pain. We go from brawling, to him supporting me.

That’s when I lose my shit. I’m standing in my uncle’s driveway in my father’s arms and I let go. My mom must have heard the commotion. She’s running toward us, worried we’ve hurt one another. “What’s going on?”

We part and both turn in her direction. My dad handles the situation. “I’ve got this handled, Amy.”

“Conner, clearly something is going on. Where’s Tamsyn?”

“Cammie didn’t tell you?”

My mom puts her hands on her hips. “Tell me what?”

It hurts to repeat it. “Liv is pregnant, Mom. It’s mine.”

She covers her mouth with her hand, tears already forming in her eyes. She knows what this means, and why Tamsyn isn’t here by my side. “No.”

“I’m so sorry. I never meant for this to happen.”

“How? When?” She wonders.

“When Tamsyn was in Mexico,” Dad answers for me.

“Where is she?” My mom asks.

“The main house.”

Mom points in that direction. “I don’t care what you have to do. Get your ass over there and make things right, Josh.”

My eyes are stinging again. “She doesn’t want to see me.”

“Your mom is right. She’s probably in shock. We all are. She’s far away from home with no one to talk to. You have to go to her. At the least help her figure out how to go home.”

I hate this advice. Facing her again will kill me. It’s torture knowing I’ve hurt her this way. “Okay.”

Uncle Ty comes out of the garage with a bottle of whiskey. “Here You’ll need this. She might too.”

I start walking, thinking, but mostly praying that I can make things right.

Despite knowing where I can find her, I’m destroyed when I come up on the room and hear her inside. She’s sobbing, wailing, and alone. I sink down on the carpeting floor in the hall and listen to what I’ve done to her. This is what I deserve. It’s everything I promised I’d never do.

I open that bottle of whiskey and begin drinking it, each sip doing nothing for my heartbreak. Everything I want is in that room and I don’t know how in the hell to fix it. I’m burned out. My eyes sting, and my throat keeps feeling like it’s closing up. My head is pounding, and when I close my eyes I can feel my pulse banging. It’s torture listening to her. It continues for a while until I finally fall asleep from emotional exhaustion.