Joshua Healy (The Mitchell/Healy Family #10)(50)

He doesn’t let me finish. He’s picking me up and kissing me, carrying me over to a wooden fence so I’m able to lean against it. When we part he’s smiling. His eyes are glistening, like he’s getting emotional, except I don’t think it’s possible. Josh is a rock. He’s too tough to express himself this way.

He holds me close for a few more seconds, kissing the top of my head and leaving his face to linger there. “I’m thankful for you too, Tamsyn. You taught me the real meaning of love, and I’ll never forget it.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“You better. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. It’s why I’m crazy about you.”

Our hands lace together and it’s like electricity running between us. I never want this moment to end.





Chapter 23


Joshua


It's been several days since I learned Liv is pregnant with my child, and there hasn't been a single second where I'm able to relax. I can't sleep. When I eat I feel sick. When I'm around Tamsyn all I can think about is losing her. Every single second I wait to share the news is another reason for her to hate me. God I can't deal with it. The image of her packing her things and walking out of my life devastates me and it hasn't happened yet. I'm prolonging the inevitable. She knows something is up. I can't keep lying to her; promising we will be okay, when I know we won't.

I haven't heard from Liv. That's how I know she's genuinely freaking out. This isn't about being with me, or how I feel about her. A part of me will always care about her, but I won't forgive her for what's been done to me. Now I have to find a way to get along with her for the sake of our child. It's terrible.

Everyone will hate me. Wes will never forgive me. Cam will probably try to beat the shit out of me. My dad will go back to calling me worthless, and my mom, well she's going to be crushed when Tamsyn leaves. They're very close. I know she wants her to be the one I stay with.

Given my history with Liv, not a single family member will accept her, well no one besides her brother.

I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone for advice, because I know they'll only tell me what I already know.

I'm an idiot.



After the tour, and a very emotional walk, I find Tamsyn outside on the front porch swing. She's closed her eyes and seems to be enjoying a gentle afternoon breeze. She’s beautiful sitting there all alone, and I take a mental picture just in case our time is running out. The harder to try to keep calm, the more my emotions are going awry.

The porch door slams shut grabbing her attention. "Hey.” I say while walking. “Are you hungry yet? Noah and Shalan are hosting dinner."

She stops swinging and heads in my direction. "It's so beautiful here. I could stay outside all night if you’d let me."

"Yeah, I like the mountains and when the leaves turn red and orange for as far as the eyes can see. It’s like a picture you’d hang on the wall.”

“We can take the four wheeler out later if you're up for it. There's a stream that runs through the whole property. It opens up to a lake. If you're really feeling adventurous we could take horses. Shalan and Noah have six now."

Her arms wrap around my waist. "As long as you lead the way I'll follow."

I wish that were the case, but I know as soon as she learns my secret everything will end abruptly.

Noah and Shalan offered for us to stay with them, but Isabella and Rusty are already there, plus they have Jake and Jax's crews. Addison offered, but my sister Callie and Cob will be using their only guest room. Cammie and Wes and Cassie and Logan are staying in the mansion with us. I think it'll be nice to see them and share coffee and breakfast each morning while we're all here. Plus Tamsyn will have people she feels comfortable with, just in case I go off with guys.

We arrive at the house to find an Italian smorgasbord prepared. After making a couple plates, we eat outside near the pastures. I can already tell my girlfriend is eying up one of the mares. "Like I said, we can take a ride."

"I haven't ridden in years."

"You'll do fine." I reach for her hand. "Come on. The weather is perfect and we still have a couple hours of daylight left."

I don't have to twist her arm. She's already leading the way into the stables.

We saddle up two horses and start making our decent toward the wooden trails when Wes and Cammie come pulling into the driveway. I expect a wave or a smart comment, but Wes surprises me by jumping from the car before my sister can completely stop. "We need to talk," he says as he approaches.

"Okay. Can it wait until we get back?"

He's pissed about something. That much is obvious. "Not really." He looks to Tamsyn. "Can I borrow him for a second?"

She's already on one of the horses but nods like she okay if I step away for a moment.

We no sooner get into the barn when he starts on me. "I talked to my sister this morning and she had a lot to say."

"About what?" I play stupid, because I can't believe she would tell him anything just yet.

"Don't go there with me, Josh. How long have we been friends, man?"

I shrug. "Almost twenty years."

"How do you think it felt to find pregnancy tests in the bathroom trash this morning and discover they weren't from Cammie, but my little sister?"