Joshua Healy (The Mitchell/Healy Family #10)(48)

“I can’t be what you need, Liv. You’re asking the impossible.”

“I’m not asking you for anything, and I’m not here to threaten your relationship with Tamsyn, but the truth is going to come out eventually. My brother will want answers. Your sister will find out.”

I rub my eyes, keeping them closed to avoid looking at her. “How long do I have?”

“I don’t know. A couple months. I won’t say anything until I start to show.”

“I appreciate you coming to me.”

“Josh, I know you hate me right now. I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

“Was it on purpose?”

“I said it wasn’t. If it was, do you think I’d come to you like this? I’d go right to Tamsyn. I’m coming to you because you deserve to know.”

“I’m going to lose her,” I manage to get out. “I can’t believe this.”

Liv comes closer and puts her hand on my shoulder. I’m still on my knees, reeling in the news that’s about to drive my heart into the ground. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Probably not.”

“You really love her, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“I could lie and say I don’t want you for myself, but you know that’s not the truth. However, I am sorry this happened. I’d never want you because you feel obligated to me.”

“Shit!” I yell. “Damn it!”

Now she’s really crying. “I could go back to New York, Josh. I’ve never needed help before. I can do this on my own. I don’t want you to hate me any more than you already do. If leaving makes this problem go away for you, I’ll do it.”

“Wes will find out.”

“I’ll tell him it’s someone else’s. I’ll lie for you.”

It’s too soon to be able to make the right decision. “Just hang tight until I can wrap my head around this.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. “And for the record, you were wrong. My actions lately aren’t excusable. I’m jealous. Why did it have to be her?”

“It just happened, Liv. I swear it wasn’t about you. She’s good for me.”

It’s quiet. I think we both know my relationship with Tamsyn is about to end. It’s only a matter of time. This isn’t the same person who taunted me. She’s not here to break up my relationship. This is the side of her that no one else gets to see. She’s not made of stone. It just takes something major to prove it. “Is it okay if I give you a call after my doctor appointment?”

“It has to be. I need to know.”

She’s already walking away. “Have a good Thanksgiving, Josh. Please, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“Let me have some time. I’ve got a lot to think about.”



I take my time finishing out my project, because I know when I head back to the house I’ll have to face Tamsyn. I don’t know if I’ll be able to this time.

That one night ruined everything. I didn’t even know what I was doing. It’s not fair. Liv pushed me. She forced me, and now I’m supposed to accept the consequences.

When I finish work for the day, I head to the barn and make myself a stiff drink. Tamsyn is probably in the middle of packing for Kentucky. She’ll know something is wrong if I don’t hide it well enough.

I sit and remain there for the next couple hours. My phone rings until it dies. I’m numb. It’s brutal knowing that I came so close to having it all, only for everything to fall apart. I should have known it was too good to be true.

I don’t turn around when I hear the door open. Her voice tells me it’s Tamsyn. “I’ve been looking all over for you. Your father is checking the fields. He thought something may have happened to you.”

“I’ve been here.”

“What’s going on? You didn’t pick up your phone.”

I lie to her, because telling the truth is even harder. “I got into it with one of my cousins today over something stupid, and instead of getting everyone involved I came here to cool down. After a few beers I decided to keep drinking. I’m sorry I had you worried.”

She hugs me from behind. “I’m glad you’re all right.”

“Yep, just fine and dandy,” I reply with sarcasm.

“Do you want to be alone, or have company?”

I look directly into the eyes of the woman I love; the first woman who has shown me what it’s like to be loved, and I break her heart. “I’d rather be alone.”

“Okay. I’ll guess I’ll head back to the house then.” Her sad grimace says it all as she turns and exits the building.

I slam my fist down on the wooden counter, then swipe the empty beer cans until they tumble onto the concrete floor. This feels like a nightmare I can’t wake from. It’s not fair. She’s the nicest person I’ve ever met. She doesn’t deserve this. It was bad enough that I f*cked Liv, but now a baby. How? Why?

I’d rather pack my shit up and drive away from my life then to have to look her in the eyes and tell her the heartbreaking truth.





Chapter 22


Tamsyn


We’ve been driving for several hours. For the past few days Josh has been distant. He says everything is okay between us, but I get the feeling that’s not really the truth. I’m doing my best not to worry. We’re living together. We’re planning a future. He tells me he loves me every single day.