Instead of You(79)

I reached down and placed my hands over his, trying to convince myself that his touch didn’t make my brain scream, “He’s not Hayes!”

I kept moving to the music and felt him lean forward a bit, his mouth coming to touch the shell of my ear.

“I’ve been watching you and your friends for a while. You’re the hottest girl here and I couldn’t understand why you were dancing alone.” His fingers gave my waist a squeeze. “What’s your name?”

“McKenzie,” I said loudly.

His hands suddenly spun me around, which I didn’t appreciate since the heels needed a little more thought and practice than he’d allowed. “Hi,” he said with a smile. He was cute. But he was all wrong. His hair was too light, his face too round, he wasn’t tall enough, and he just wasn’t Hayes. “I’m Paul.”

“Hi,” I said, trying to smile.

“Wanna get out of here?”

I leaned a little closer to him so I didn’t have to yell. “I’m here with my friends tonight. Girls’ night.” I smiled again, but this time it was an apologetic smile, and pointed over my shoulder to Becca and Holly.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. They want you to have a good time, right?”

He was cute and a little bit charming, and I imagined that lots of girls would take him up on his offer. Hell, last week I might have. But I knew I couldn’t go home with anyone. Not while Hayes was saturating every thought I had.

“Thanks, but I’m going to have to pass.” He shrugged with a smile, but then turned and wandered off, perhaps looking for a more willing participant.

Suddenly the noise of the music and the heat of the people all around were too much. I was wobbly and sweaty and I just needed one moment of peace and quiet.

“I’m gonna go on the patio for a minute,” I yelled in Holly’s ear. “I’ll be back in a few.”

“Want us to come with you?” she asked, still happily bobbing to the music.

“I’ll be all right.”

She gave me a thumbs-up and then I went to the bar, waited for a glass of water, then headed for the patio doors. Thankfully, there were only two other people outside and they were huddled together in the far corner, making out.

I took a long drink of my water, knowing I’d thank myself in the morning for it, and I pulled my phone from my pocket. I activated the screen and pulled up my contacts. I thumbed down until Hayes’s name was highlighted, and then I paused.

I hadn’t called him once since he’d left for Montana and I had no idea if his number was still the same, but I’d been thinking about calling him all day. Not once, in three years, had I called him. But knowing he was in the same town as me made me itch to reach out. I was afraid it could only lead to more heartache, but at that point, everything hurt anyway.

I pressed the call button and held the phone up to my ear, fully expecting to hear an angry stranger yell at me for calling so late, or to be sent to an unfamiliar voice mail.

What I didn’t expect was to hear Hayes’s voice.

“McKenzie?”

Oh, God. His voice made all the hairs on my arm stand up. It was deep and raspy, like he’d been very close to sleeping when I called. Shit. He knew it was me. Damn cell phones.

“McKenzie, is that you? Are you all right?” He started to sound a little panicked and I hadn’t meant that, so I answered.

“Yes, sorry. It’s me. I shouldn’t have called.”

“No, wait, don’t hang up. What are you doing?”

I looked around, thinking about making something up, but instead, the truth spilled out. “I’m standing on the patio at a bar. There’s a couple dry humping in the corner.”

“Are you alone?”

His tone was suddenly protective and the effect it had on me was terrifying. And also really wonderful.

“Holly and Becca are here. They’re inside.”

There was a silence between us and I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t even sure why I called him. But I knew I didn’t want to hang up.

“Do you guys need a ride home? Is there a designated driver?”

“We’ll walk. I live just a few blocks away.”

“It’s just the three of you?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit, Kenz. The three of you can’t walk home alone.”

“We do it all the time,” I said, slightly defensive.

“Well, that makes me feel much better,” he said, the sarcasm coming through loud and clear. He let out a breath and then said, “Just let me come walk you guys home. I won’t be able to sleep now, knowing you’ll be walking home alone. In the dark. Three beautiful college girls. In the middle of the night.”

At that point I couldn’t help but let out a tiny laugh. He sounded sort of like a grumpy father.

“I don’t think they’re ready to leave just yet,” I said through my laughter.

“Are you ready?”

My breath stalled at his question. Was I ready to see him again? Was I ready to pass up an opportunity to see his face? To walk next to him? To possibly take in his scent or feel the back of his hand brush up against mine?

No, I wasn’t.

“I’m not ready to go home, but I’ll take you up on a walk, if you’re offering.”