Instead of You(75)

“Stuff,” I said with a shrug.

“Have you heard from Hayes?” Holly asked innocently. I tried to make sure I didn’t pull a face at the mention of his name. I needed to seem completely unaffected, even if just the sound of his name ringing in my ears made my heart beat faster.

“Mrs. Wallace called my mom last night. They made it to Montana. They’re staying with her parents for the time being and she’s starting her therapy next week.” I said the words as fast as I could, not stopping to take a breath until the end, like ripping off a Band-Aid.

“I was really sorry to hear about his mom. I’m glad they decided to get her the help she needs,” Becca said softly.

“Me too,” I whispered. I looked over to Cory’s headstone. “You hear that? Your mom’s in good hands. She’s going to be just fine. She just misses you.” My voice cracked at the end of my sentence, my eyes stung, and my throat pinched. Both my friends reached out and rubbed my shoulder or my arm, letting me know they were there for me. I wiped away a tear and said, “We all miss you.”

After a few silent moments, Becca finally spoke. “The guys are at the mall. They want us all to go see the new scary movie that came out. Want to come with us?” She looked hopeful, as if she really wanted me to say yes, but was afraid I’d say no.

“Sure,” I said, wiping my fingers underneath both my eyes, trying to make sure I’d dried both my cheeks thoroughly. “I love spending my Friday nights as the fifth wheel.” I stood up, chuckling, then held out my hands to my two friends, pulling them both up as well.

“Hey, I was the fifth wheel for two whole years. You can spend an evening with your coupled-up friends.” Becca said and then laughed.

“True. But someone has to buy me popcorn.”





Three Years Later





Chapter Twenty-Eight


McKenzie


Somewhere, at some fancy university or research institute, college coffee houses across the country could be making big bucks by hiring laboratories to do research on prolonged caffeine intake and its effect on brain function and retention.

I was on my third mocha and the highlighter was practically singeing the page of my textbook as I swiped it across the important words. Or, at least, words I hoped would be important when it came time to take the test.

I was but a mere twenty-four hours from my last final of the term, which meant spring break was right around the corner. Not only spring break, but the first spring break where I was legally allowed to walk into a club and purchase and consume alcohol. It was on par to be the best spring break ever. All I had to do was make it through one more test.

My phone buzzed on the table so I flipped it over and read a text from Becca.

**Officially on spring break, bitches.**

It was a group text between Holly, Becca, and me. Holly and I went to the same school, but Becca had opted to go to a college out of state. It had been sad to drift away from each other physically, but honestly, we saw each other often. She always came home for breaks and summers, so I really only ever went about two months without her.

**When does your flight land?**

That was from Holly. She’d volunteered to pick Becca up from the airport as she was finished with finals already. The three of us would spend the first weekend in town, hit all the bars we’d been sneaking into for three years, and then drive home to spend the rest of the week with our families and other friends home for the break.

**8:30 pm.**

**I hate that I can’t hang out tonight. You guys have to have a terrible time since I’ll be stuck at home studying still.**

**We’ll make sure to party enough to make up for your absence.**

Becca’s good mood was evident in her text, and I smiled, knowing how good it would feel tomorrow to be completely done for a whole week.

**Get back to studying. We’ll pick you up tomorrow night and the first round is on me.**

I knew I’d kept Holly as a friend for a reason. I turned my phone over, using the same logic that never proved to be true—that if I couldn’t see the screen I wouldn’t be tempted to pick it up—but I was determined to ace this test.

Tequila shots be damned.

I decided more coffee was necessary so I grabbed my wallet and walked toward the counter. I was sure the barista would turn me away, citing some sort of caffeinating limit I’d reached with my ninth shot in my last drink, but she simply took my order and then made my drink. I waited at the designated spot where everyone stood to receive their drinks, and when my drink was ready I steeled myself for another few hours of heavy cramming. Eventually, I’d move my study party to the library. But for now I would go back to my corner, put in my headphones, and try to focus.

I turned and only two steps into my journey back to my corner, my eyes fell upon him and my body simply stopped. As if I’d hit a brick wall. As if the connection from my brain to my legs had been severed. And it felt as though everyone else stood still too. The whole world came crashing to a halt.

Including Hayes.

Who was standing not ten feet away from me.

He looked just as uncomfortable as me, but he also looked something like sad.

Eventually the world started spinning again and my heart thumped back to life, but I was still stuck in my spot, completely unaware of how I was supposed to proceed. For months after he’d left, I’d looked for him everywhere. Every time I drove past his house I wondered if he was in it. At the movies, at the mall, I constantly was looking at every young, dark-haired guy, waiting to someday see him just appear. But once I moved away for college, I’d stopped. I knew he’d spent years on this campus, but I’d only been to two places with him, really. One bar and his apartment. Both places I avoided at all costs. We’d been in this coffee shop together, for a just a minute or two, but I’d convinced myself it was dumb to lose out on such a great study site just because once he and I breathed the same air there.