Forever for a Year(42)

*

We finished walking to his house, hand in hand. I imagined us being grown-up, and being married, and walking to our own house. This was silly to think about, but I couldn’t help it.

When Trevor and I walked in, it was just after nine p.m. His little sister had been sleeping on the floor by the front closet, a pillow under her head and an iPad on the floor, still playing a movie. She had snapped awake and onto her feet by the time we walked into the hall. She was wearing pink flowered pajama bottoms and a blue pajama top with golf clubs on it.

“Hello, Carolina, my name is Lily, I’m Trevor’s younger sister. Welcome to our house,” she said, and said my name correctly, and I didn’t know what to say because she sounded more mature than I did.

So I said, “Hi, Lily. I’m really excited to meet you.”

“Follow me, let me introduce you to our parents,” Lily said, taking my hand in hers. I followed her into the living room.

Trevor said, “Lily likes to pretend she’s an adult.”

“Trevor, don’t be hilarious,” she said, then pointed to a handsome man with dark skin, black hair, and thick eyebrows. He wore gray slacks and a tucked-in green sweater with a collared shirt underneath. He stood as I entered the room. The woman, Trevor’s mom, was blond and curled into the couch, a book in her hand. She was the prettiest mom I had ever seen. It took her an extra few seconds, but she rose as well. Both his parents came over and shook my hand.

“We’re glad to have you here, Carolina,” his dad said.

“You’re adorable,” his mom said, which was nice, and I’m sure she meant it nicely, but I wanted to be beautiful like her, not adorable. She had long, thin fingers and thin arms, and I had big biceps and tough hands and I felt like such a little girl or even worse, like a tomboy. She was sooo feminine. Trevor’s mom had everything figured out, I could tell, and she had this very handsome husband, and huge house, and lots of money, and the most sophisticated daughter ever, and then, obviously, Trevor, who was the best boy in the universe. I wanted her life. I wanted to be perfect like her. Gosh. I wanted it so bad I almost stopped breathing.

“We’re going to watch TV downstairs,” Trevor said.

“I’m coming!” Lily said.

“You need to go to bed,” Trevor said.

“Trevor’s right,” his dad said. “Lily, it’s bedtime. But I think you two should watch TV up here in the family room.”

“Why?” Trevor asked. I knew. The family room was connected to the living room, which meant they could keep an eye on us.

“Robert,” his mom said, “don’t be old-fashioned. They don’t want to watch TV with us overhearing everything they’re saying. Go on downstairs. Nice to meet you, Carolina.” She shook my hand and sat back down on the couch. His dad wanted to argue, but instead he said, “Okay, Lily, say good night.”

“Good night, Carolina. I’d watch TV with you except it’s past my bedtime.”

“Next time, I’ll come over earlier,” I said.

“Would you?” Lily leaped into the air.

“I promise.” And then she wrapped her arms around me and I loved her instantly. I wanted to marry Trevor tomorrow. Not really. But I would if he asked. He had the family every kid dreams of that you don’t think exists. But it did. And Trevor had it. And I had Trevor.





32

Trevor gets too excited

I locked the basement door behind us. Lily might sneak out of bed. My dad may decide it was his job to check on us. This way they couldn’t. We’d be alone. Not that we were going to do anything wrong. We were just going to lie on the couch. Watch a movie. And maybe kiss more. That’s all.

Our basement has the biggest TV in the house, and it’s always warm and comfortable. The couch is a big L and very deep so you can sleep on it, which I had done a couple times after falling asleep watching Saturday Night Live.

Carolina sat down, putting her feet up on the red coffee table. I grabbed the remote and sat next to her, our shoulders and hips pressed against each other. There was a thin, soft throw blanket that I covered both our legs with. It was strange looking down, knowing all four of our legs were under the same blanket. That sounds dumb. But it was really interesting, cool, whatever.

“What do you want to watch?” I asked.

“I don’t care,” she said, then slipped her right hand into my left hand and squeezed. Man. She always did these little things at the exact right moment that just made me feel so good. Like she was just happy to be here with me and nothing else mattered. I had never felt that with anyone, except maybe Lily. But she’s my little sister, and little sisters always want to hang out with their big brothers. Carolina could be a hundred places right now but chose to be with me, alone, in my basement.

“Do you like Game of Thrones?”

“I’ve never seen it,” she said. “We don’t have HBO.”

“It’s like Lord of the Rings but with more sex and blood.”

“That sounds cool,” she said. I pulled up on-demand, started the first episode from season one. I had seen it four times. I sat pretending to watch for two minutes, but by the time the opening credits ended, I turned to her and kissed her again. I worried she would just give me a tiny peck back because she wanted to watch the show, but no, she started kissing me right away. Even more than I was kissing her. She was so … aggressive. Which was good. Great. Awesome. It just made me so excited, too excited, and I was aggressive back and our mouths were just so wild that I worried I looked dumb. But I couldn’t stop. It was fun and my heart was beating crazy fast and I wanted to be closer and closer to her. Closer. Closer than we could get and then I leaned into her and she leaned back onto the couch, and then I was on top of her and then …