Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(48)
“Me too. We’ll figure this out. The kids will have both of us in their lives, even if I have to rent a place on the same damn street.”
“Maybe one day we can be together again.”
I clenched my jaw and said nothing. She didn’t want to hear what I was thinking. I was too ashamed to admit it. Some things were better left unsaid.
While Veronica clearly had mixed emotions, I knew exactly where my heart lied. The only problem was that it was unreachable, and I didn’t know how to resolve it.
Chapter 25
I sat in my bed racking my nerves on how this was going to play out. Chad surely had enough time to find Veronica and get the answers he was searching for.
Why hadn’t he called me?
The longer I waited the more I began to stress. Of course, with my track record, I suspected the worst. Maybe she went raging mad and killed him so we couldn’t be together. Maybe, after discovering she was lying to keep him close, he’d committed murder and was desperately trying to hide the body.
Was he even capable of such heinous actions?
Why was I thinking these incredibly awful scenarios?
I couldn’t eat, and I refused to close my eyes, because I knew if I was already imagining horrible thoughts, my dreams would take me to worse places.
“Get it together, Rachel,” I mumbled to myself.
After a while I had to get out of bed and wander around. I cleaned out my closet, and rewashed all the clean linens in the hall closet. Then I decided to bake.
Two cakes and a dozen cookies later, I was doing the dishes, my mind still fixated on Chad and why I’d still not heard a peep from him.
It wasn’t until after midnight when I began to get emotional and assume the worst. I’d tried not to pick up the phone and contact him, but it was either that or getting in my car and driving all the way to the mansion to seek out the truth.
I located his saved number on my phone and listened for it to connect once I hit the send button. I could feel my heart beating rapidly while I waited in silence.
After four rings his voicemail picked up. I started to end the call, but decided to leave a message instead, just in case he was away from his phone. “Chad, it’s me, Rachel. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m freaking out. Please call me and let me know you’re okay. If you have bad news I can take it. It’s the not knowing that’s killing me. I love you.”
When I hung up the phone I sat down on my couch and stared at it, hoping it would start to vibrate in my hand.
Instead, a knocking on my door caused me to jump out of my seat. I ran toward it, knowing exactly who would be visiting this late at night. When I opened it, I had no idea the condition he’d be in, and I never suspected he’d be in tears.
I pulled him inside, wrapping my arms around him, not even wanting him to explain. Whatever he had come for was irrelevant. I’d been concerned for too long to care about his intentions. This embrace was so I could take a moment to regain my sanity. “I was so worried.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“I’m just glad you’re okay. I tried to call.”
“Yeah,” he said while still holding me. “I left it at the house.” He paused for a moment and kissed me on the forehead. “We need to talk, Rach.”
Right then I knew whatever he had to say I wasn’t going to like it. Now, instead of being worried, I was also petrified.
I led him into the living room and we sat down together. Chad played with my hands while he searched for the words he was going to use to explain. I already knew it would be terrible, so I prepared myself, breathing calmly and steadying my body to take the blow. “Just tell me you’re going to be okay.” He appeared to be struggling.
His face shriveled up as the first sentence came out. “I can’t do this again.” His limp body collapsed in my lap. All I could do was hold him, running my hands through his thick hair while he wept. This was unlike Chad. I knew he’d been in pain emotionally over his grandfather’s death, but this seemed absurd. He was like a child, crumbling after being punished for something ridiculously stupid.
“Talk to me, Chad. You can tell me anything. You know that.”
He shook his head and finally sat up, staring me right in the face. He brought his hand up, running the back of it over my cheek. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve loved you?”
I felt heat radiate over my face, overwhelmed with a sudden itch of flattery. “I have a pretty good idea.”
“The future should be about us, Rach. Together we can get through anything. I’ve never been so sure in my life.”
“Why are you upset? I’ve been thinking about what we talked about. I was wrong to say I wouldn’t follow you anywhere. I would. I’ll do whatever it takes this time.”
Chad was hesitant to respond. He took a few seconds to gather his thoughts. "I want you to know I wouldn't change what we've done. I'll never regret my time with you. It's something I'll cherish, because I know it's real. You are the one I let get away, and even though you're at peace with it, I will never see it as anything but the biggest mistake of my life. Everything would be different. We'd have a perfect life. We'd be best friends, lovers, hell, maybe even soul mates. ?Maybe this is my fault. I know I'm to blame, at least for my recent actions. I got carried away in you, in the possibility of us. I forgot about my responsibilities and let myself feel something again, if only for a little while."