Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(43)

In a matter of days my life had become a travesty. I was desperate, grasping at straws to discover the road to resolution. How could I have him? How could we run away and leave the past behind us? How would we get through this latest locked gate?

Control. I needed it; to be able to handle it, to ensure I got the results I yearned for.

Until we knew what Chad's wife was up to, if her pregnancy was in fact real, we were stuck in a limbo state, afraid it would all come crashing down on us.

We lie naked in his bed, our bodies tangled together?.

Was I hallucinating? Was this the man I'd waited so long to be with again, or was I having a terrible nightmare; one that would never warrant a happy ending.

“What are you thinking about, Rach?” Chad asked while lacing our fingers together.

I adjusted my body, resting my head on his broad chest. “I should probably head home soon. I can’t keep buying clothes. It’s important I stop by the office and pick up some paperwork.”

He sat up. “After what we just did you want to leave?”

“Well, I don’t want to leave, but we both have things to do, you especially. We can’t tiptoe around this, Chad. I like knowing things.”

He nodded. “You’re right. I keep thinking it’s not real, but that would be too easy. I need to find out where Veronica is staying, and what she’s up to. It can’t be anything good.”

I reached up and kissed him slowly. “If she’s still in town you should have her come over to speak to her in person. You have my number. It’s always been the same. Just call me when you know something.”

“You won’t be back later?”

I smiled. “Do you want me to come back?”

He dug his hand in my hair and pulled my lips to press over his. When he backed away, I could barely keep my composure. Unlike Chad, I didn’t need a long break in between sexual encounters. I was ready and willing to be with him again. “Of course. I can’t force you to stay, but I wouldn’t mind it if you were here when Veronica comes. I’m not afraid of her. She’s been f*cking her doctor friend for months. I think I deserve to do whatever the hell I want.”

“You saw how she reacted at the funeral. This would set her over the edge, and I don’t want to be responsible for that if she’s carrying your child.”

“Don’t even say it. It’s got to be a lie, some fabricated story to get under my skin. I don’t know why she thinks I’d want to come home and play house with someone I don’t want to be with. I’m tired of lying to myself. This is what I want; a life with you and Harper. Is it wrong for me think it can happen?”

“No. It’s not wrong.”

“Then promise to come back tonight. Let’s do this together. Be with me like you agreed to last night.”

“I’m going to. I promise.”

I started climbing out of the bed, gathering my clothes that had been strewn throughout the area.

As much as I hated the idea of it, Chad agreed to take me down the road to fetch my car, so I could go home and get some things accomplished. In all honesty, I think he knew I needed some space. In spite of how quickly I'd ended up in his bed, I did want to move slow, at least where Harper came into play. She was a fragile little girl?, vulnerable to what she witnessed. It was bad enough her parents were probably going to be involved in an ugly divorce, but I felt somewhat responsible.

?Since we had to wait for Harper to wake up from her nap, Chad and I took a quick shower. Being close to him without clothes was impossible to ignore. He took me from behind after rinsing the shampoo from my hair. ?Unlike our first encounter, slow and full of emotion, this sex was unhinged, ravenous even.

Being a good lover was only one of Chad's amazing skills. I'd yet to find something about him I didn't like. My inability to say no to him had taken us down a road we knew too well. I'd been a fool to assume I could withstand his advances. Now I had to prepare for the letdown, because I knew it was coming.

Chad didn't say much when he drove me to my vehicle. The long private road to the estate seemed shorter because I knew we were about to part. With Harper in the vehicle, I could hardly give him the kind of goodbye I would have liked to. He climbed out and walked me to the car, wrapping his arms around me in a friendly hug. His lips perused my earlobe as he spoke. "Don't keep me waiting. I'll leave the lock open for you to return. I love you."

I looked him straight in the eyes as I replied. "I love you too. I'll see you soon."

I don't think the door had closed before I lost it. Chad pulled away, leaving me sitting there to pout alone. ?Maybe I should have trusted he'd handle it, but something told me I'd be spending the night alone. I couldn't explain how I knew. Beneath the beauty of our new chance at love, I knew there was a war brewing, and it wouldn't end without casualties, my heart being the first.

It took me forty-five minutes to make it back to my house, and in that time I’d already received two messages from Chad. The first was telling me he missed me already, and the second was a message begging me to turn around and come back.

As much as I wouldn’t have liked to, I didn’t physically have it in me. Being with Chad was exciting. I’d stop using my head and gotten caught up in the moment.

Once inside of my quiet home, I kicked off my shoes and found my way into the living room. Surrounding me, on every wall, were memories of my life with Grayson. Thinking about betraying him hurt me, but finally, after two years of living alone, I felt like he’d want me to be happy. I hadn’t been unfaithful to my husband once our separation was over. When Chad left me that was it. We didn’t sneak around seeing each other, and I certainly hadn’t called him after Grayson’s death. We’d come together because of Charles and nothing else. What I hadn’t known when I walked into that hospital room was how my life would change in a matter of days. I’d assumed I’d could handle seeing him again, and be able to know when to walk away.