Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(47)

I didn’t argue with Veronica regarding the way she referred to Rachel. She was jealous, and who could blame her? Rachel had something Veronica never did. She had my undying love.

I could tell she was beginning to understand. Her posture changed, like she was relaxing.

"Chad, before you say I'm the devil, or at least think it about me, I want you to know I was going to have an abortion because I knew our marriage was over. I was prepared to accept it. When I got to the airport and went to buy my ticket, I freaked out. I lost it. It's not something I can explain?. I just needed to hold onto something. That's when I called Gracie. She felt obligated to help me. I was wrong to force her hand. She'd never betray you. I hope you know that. I feel bad for causing you to be angry with her. You think I don't love you, that I'm a narcissist. You're wrong. I do love you. You came into my life and showed me not all men are monsters. You ?loved me when I couldn't love myself. I still don't the way I should. I know blaming my childhood is getting redundant, but I'm screwed up. I never felt like I was good enough for you."

"I've never expected you to be Rachel." As much as the idea ?of comforting her pissed me off, it was obvious we needed to find common ground. Despite hating her currently, she'd always be the mother of my daughter, and possibly my unborn child. She might be a poor excuse for a human, but I refused to stoop to her level. Her selfish actions had caused all of this, and I wasn't about to allow her to take me down in her pool of loneliness, even though I'd never been this depressed in my entire life. "Don't cry. Well figure it out, but before I go and make these sort of decisions, I'm going to need to take you to the hospital. We clearly have issues with trust, and I'm not doing shit until I know you're really pregnant and when the child was conceived."

She pushed me away, staring at me with hurt-filled eyes. "I would never lie about being pregnant."

"Then you won't mind proving it. I'm a man of my word. I'll take care of my kids, but I'm not breaking Rachel's heart only to find out you've concocted this plan to ruin my life, and I sure as shit am not going to sell my grandfather's home just because you can't handle me having somewhere else to go."

Her gaze left mine. "Fine. Whatever I need to do to win back your trust."

"Good. I'll let Gracie know we're heading out for a bit."

"Would you settle for a home pregnancy test until we can go to the regular doctor?" Veronica asked while sniffles followed.

"Yeah, I just need to know. You're throwing this shit on me at the worst time."

"I understand."

After speaking briefly with Gracie, Veronica and I hopped in a car and drove to the nearest pharmacy. She remained quiet during the ride, and more uncomfortable as I picked out and paid for a double box of tests.

It wasn't until the journey home when she spoke again. "I don't expect you to forgive me for what I've done. Maybe it's best if I get a small apartment once we go home. As much as I'd like to think we can co-parent in the same house, it's probably better if we're neighbors, close enough to be there for the kids every day."

"Well figure it out. One thing at a time."

?Veronica wasn't in a hurry to get inside and pee on a stick. I was lingering on a nervous breakdown when we went into the bathroom and I witnessed her peeing on both sticks. Almost immediately two lines showed up on each. It was like watching my beautiful future with Rachel being ripped from my hands. I said nothing while leaving the bathroom to go be alone. I had a lot to think about, and I was finished talking. My daughter had been a surprise pregnancy, but this was a disaster.

Veronica found me out back, staring at the forest beyond the landscaped yard. It was chilly and she had her arms hugging her chest. “Are you okay?”

“Maybe you should have asked me that sooner. We could have avoided a lot of this bullshit.”

“Chad, I’m sorry. First there was Shelly, and then your grandfather. It’s all happened so fast.”

“We can’t be together. It won’t work.”

She was quiet when she whispered softly. “I know.”

“Do you love Shelly?”

“It doesn’t matter. The moment I found out I was pregnant I knew it was over between us.”

I turned to look at her. Suddenly things began to make sense. “You didn’t go home because you didn’t want to face her?”

“That’s part of it. Shelly wanted me to leave you. She thought we could live together. I knew you’d never approve of me having your baby and living with someone else, plus I’d made it clear I didn’t want you involved with Rachel. It would be selfish of me to do exactly what I’d asked you not to do. You say you’re confused, but what you don’t understand is I’m in the same boat. This hurts so much. I don’t understand how this can be happening. I would have been fine if I didn’t know.”

“It takes two to make a baby, Veronica. I get why you couldn’t tell me, and I don’t even blame you for being hurt when you found out I ran right to Rachel. I can see where you’d assume I’d been having an affair with her for a while, but you’d be wrong.”

She laced her hand with mine. I closed my eyes and for second pretended it was Rachel’s. My heart was breaking and there was no good resolution. “I’m sorry, Chad.”