Because (Seven Year Itch #4)(18)
“I’m not worried about that, honey. I just want to know you’re not making your problems worse.”
“I’m not. I want to be happy. I’m doing this for me. I hope you can respect that.”
She smiles; one of her ways of pretending she is okay with my decisions. I’ve seen it a hundred times before so I know it’s important to let it go. My mom will always be on my side, but she adores Brandon, so it makes it difficult to convince her he’s done something wrong. I don’t want to mention a female answered his phone, because it would imply he cheated. Though I think it’s a possibility, I’m not ready to admit it to anyone else. She’ll just misconstrue it as me not giving my husband what he needs. I know this because my father cheated on my mother when they were first married. I don’t know how she was able to forgive him and learn to trust again, but somehow they say it made them stronger. I’m not built like my mom. I’m not strong, and I certainly don’t know the first thing about forgiveness, especially when the crime was still fresh on my mind, if there is a crime at all. I pray my imagination is playing tricks on me.
After my mother leaves the room, I crawl into the bed and take a nap. I need to rest my mind and my heart. Since it’s important to get Aberdeen from school instead of letting her ride the bus to our house, I’m aware of having to leave early.
The school secretary doesn’t question me when I ask to check her out of school twenty minutes before the final class ends. Aberdeen follows me to the car, but waits until I pull away to ask what is going on.
“Do you have a doctor’s appointment, Mom?”
“No. You and I are going to be staying at Grandma Kay’s for a little while.”
“What about Daddy?”
“He’ll be home taking care of the house. It’s going to be fun,” I add quickly in order to get her excited. “It’s like a trip. You like going to visit Grandma and Grandpa, right?”
“Why are we staying there?” She’s quiet for a second. “Are you and Daddy breaking up?”
My seven year old is once again proving how smart she is. “No. We’re just taking a break.”
“Because you don’t love him anymore?” She asks.
“I love your father very much. It’s not that at all.”
She begins to sniffle, and I feel obligated to pull the car over and comfort her. I wrap my arms around her as soon as I’m able to. “Sweetie, it’s going to be okay.”
“I don’t want to go to Grandma’s house. I want to go home.”
It hurts me to hear she doesn’t want to be with me, but I understand. Brandon isn’t the one who abandoned me. I left him. Her heart is with her father and I can’t argue about it. She’s fragile, and I respect her innocence. I run my hands over her cheeks and look into her eyes. “As soon as I talk to Daddy we’ll see if you can go home with him tonight. Okay?”
She nods, but still sobs quietly as she turns and peers out the window. I broke her heart and I hate myself. It’s another reason why I feel as if this decision will be the biggest mistake of my life.
“Will you come too?”
This is gut-wrenching for me. I hate having to hurt my child, but I knew to expect this from her. It’s going to get worse before it can get better. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but I’m not going to be able to do that. Are you still wanting to spend the night with just Dad?”
She takes a couple seconds to respond. “Yes. I want to go home.”
I can hear her sniffling in the seat next to me, but I don’t dare look in her direction. I know if I do, I’ll lose my shit immediately.
At any minute I’m going to get the call I’ve been waiting all day for. Brandon will arrive home and read my letter. I’m not sure what’s going to happen, or how he’ll take it. All I can hope is that Aberdeen wanting to go home will calm him enough for me be able to continue on with the disastrous plan of mine.
I have no idea what the future holds, but I’m determined I’m not going to fail. What’s meant to be will find a way. That’s the saying. I hope it’s right, or else everything I’m doing will ensure a failed marriage.
Chapter 9
I’m confident that after what happened between us last night Shay has calmed down. I’d hate to come home after a long day and deal with more bullshit, but I’m always prepared for anything when it comes to my wife.
I know she’s not home when I pull into the driveway and find her car gone. It’s not unusual for her to run out to the store because she forgot some ingredient for what she’s making for dinner. I turn off the ignition and climb out of the car at the same time my neighbor is walking into my yard.
Miss Patsy is famous for asking me for favors, because she’s too old to do the things herself. She’s been a widow for the past five years, and Shay and I feel sorry for her. Her kids live out of state, so they’re no help to her. I offer her a smile when she gets close enough. “Hi, Miss Patsy. How are you today?”
“I’m good, Brandon. I’m doing real good, all except for my hip. It gives me hell every time it rains.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Is there something I can do for you?” I’m still in my work Khakis and a polo shirt, so if it’s a dirty job I’ll have to go inside and change. I hope it’s something small like changing a light bulb.