Undone(72)

‘Jem, yes, of course you are. I’ve heard all about you.’ I’m not mad keen on the emphasis she puts on the word ‘all’ there. ‘I’m Martha. Nice to meet you and all that. Now, could you please take this bag before my bloody arm drops off … And Lucas? Put your shirt on.’

She makes me help her unpack the shopping, and it feels like a very odd thing to be doing with a complete stranger. Especially since I have no idea where anything’s supposed to go. She keeps on saying things like, ‘No, not that shelf … that one, there’s a good girl.’

Lucas washes up the knife and chopping board from the sarnie-making and directs me towards the right cupboard for the tinned tomatoes. It’s all too weird for words. His mum doesn’t seem in the slightest bit bothered about what we’ve been up to. There is no way on earth my mum would be so cool about it. Maybe this is what it’s like to be a teenage boy – your mother not batting at eyelid at you shagging some random girl on the sofa. But she knows I’m not some random girl, doesn’t she? She’s heard ALL about me.

Once the shopping’s put away, Mrs Mahoney (there’s no way I’m calling her Martha) leans back against the counter and sighs, ‘Put the kettle on, will you, love?’ I do as I’m told while Lucas gets three mugs out of the cupboard above the kettle. He doesn’t seem to think there’s anything awkward about this situation. He keeps catching my eye and smiling. I can’t help thinking that he’s pleased his mum came home early. I mean, he’d mentioned her a few times and said he thought the two of us would get on. Whenever he did I’d change the subject, since I had less than zero desire to meet the woman who’d spawned Lucas Mahoney. But here we are, sipping tea at the breakfast bar.

Lucas doesn’t look like his mum AT ALL. She’s small and sharp-looking. I guess Lucas must take after his dad (aka That Tosser). From the pictures I’ve seen, his sisters don’t really look like her either. They’re pretty much girl clones of Lucas.

I sit there sipping my tea, answering the occasional question, mostly listening to them banter back and forth. Mrs Mahoney’s pretty funny. I think she’d get on really well with my mum. Maybe they should meet …

And this is when it hits me. What the f*ck am I doing thinking about my mum meeting his mum? It’s beyond insane. I have to get out of here – now.

I let my eyes wander over to the clock on the wall. ‘God, I’m so late! It’s my turn to cook tonight – Mum’ll kill me.’

Mrs Mahoney looks at me indulgently and then raises her eyebrows at Lucas. ‘She can cook too! You’d better make sure you hang on to this one, Luke! I like her.’

Lucas smiles into his mug of tea. ‘I intend to hang on to her for as long as she’ll put up with me.’ Mother and son laugh, and that’s when you can see the family resemblance. It’s also when I feel like I will have a panic attack if I stay in this house for one more minute.

There’s nothing I can do to avoid hugging Mrs Mahoney when we say goodbye. She holds out her arms to me like I’m some long-lost relative from Australia or something. Something about the hug makes me want to cry and I have to swallow hard and scrunch my eyes closed to try and stop that happening. Mrs Mahoney says something about me coming over for dinner soon and I don’t answer because I’m pretty sure my voice will come out all shaky and weird if I dare to speak.

Lucas walks me to the front door and kisses me. ‘Nice job winning over The Mother. She loves you.’

‘She’s really nice.’ It’s an effort, but somehow I manage a smile.

‘So are you.’ He hugs me close and whispers into my hair. ‘I meant what I said, you know. I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.’

‘Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to, because my family might give me funny looks if I attempt to cook the dinner with you hanging off me.’

Lucas laughs heartily. ‘You know what I mean, Halliday. Now shut up and kiss me and maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you go … on a strictly temporary basis, you understand.’

I kiss him, softly at first, then with a hunger that surprises me. It surprises him too; he pulls away after a few seconds and gestures towards the kitchen. I don’t know what he’s so worried about – the door’s closed. I pull him towards me again, but he thwarts my efforts by wrapping me up in a bear hug.

I don’t want to hug him. Hugging is intimate. Hugging is Kai and me.

I have to leave now.

Lucas looks slightly puzzled at my hasty exit, but he shrugs it off. It would never occur to him that it was something to do with him. That he might be the problem.

It must be nice to never have to question anything. To be so perfectly comfortable in your own skin. I wonder if I could ever feel like that, or whether it’s something you’re just born with. Maybe I’ll ask him one day, after all this is over.

Or maybe not.





chapter forty-five


It’s not going away, the Stu thing. Every time the words get scrubbed off, it’s only a matter of hours before they’re back – the handwriting might be different, but the words are the same. I think it’s one person though. Someone on a mission to keep this thing going – to keep everyone talking about it. It makes me wonder why someone would do that. It makes me wonder a lot of things.