Undone(53)

‘Cool.’ I turn my attention back to the boys, who are now chasing each other around the art installation in the middle of the square – the one the local paper ran a big feature on last year. IS THIS ART? was the headline. Stu certainly seems to like it – he’s currently trying to hump it.

Lucas is laughing this loud, booming laugh, but then he looks over at me and he stops straight away and jogs over. That was a mistake – letting my true face show, even for a second. I need to be more careful.

His ‘sorry about that’ is accompanied by a bashful little-boy face.

I give him what I hope is an indulgent smile and say nothing.

Stu stops humping when he gets a stern look from this tiny old lady in a lilac hat. He meanders over, walking with this strange rolling sort of gait – half gangsta, half just-filled-a-nappy. He slumps down next to Nina and slings an arm over her shoulders. ‘So, what are you guys doing here?’

I refrain from saying, What the f*ck do you think we could possibly be doing, sitting right outside the cinema?

To cut a not very long story even shorter, Stu and Nina decide to join us. It turns out Nina really likes action films and car crashes and explosions and that sort of thing. Huh.

Lucas goes off to buy the tickets – his treat. I think this gesture is supposed to impress me, like he deserves a f*cking medal for spending Mummy’s money. He does get a gentle punch on the shoulder and a ‘nice one, mate’ from Stu, so I guess that’ll have to do.

Nina heads off to the toilets, and somehow me and Stu are left with the crucial task of choosing pick ‘n’ mix. I head straight for the fizzy cola bottles while he goes for the liquorice allsorts, which tells you everything you need to know about the kind of person he is.

He carefully counts ten sweets into his bag, while I shovel a whole scoop of cola bottles into mine. I stand back and consider my next choice. It’s a serious business, pick ‘n’ mix. One bad choice can ruin the whole bag. Those big gummy strawberries might be my next victim. Suddenly I’m aware of him. He’s just standing there, watching me. I pretend to ignore him, but the truth is he’s standing way too close to ignore. ‘I didn’t realize you and Lucas were . . .’ His voice is low and somehow conspiratorial.

I don’t know what to say to this, so I shrug.

‘I mean, you are . . . this is a date, right?’

‘I guess so.’

‘That’s . . . good. I mean, it’s cool. I mean, um . . . Lucas is a good guy.’ This is not the Stu I know and hate. This is new, improved Stu – with added mumbles.

I look over my shoulder, praying that Lucas will rescue me from this. I’d even settle for Nina. That’s how awkward this is. Neither of them are anywhere to be seen so I’m going to have to say something, dammit. ‘Yeah, he seems nice.’ That’s the best I can do? YEAH, HE SEEMS NICE? Nina would be proud of such extreme levels of vapidity.

Stu leans in even closer and I lean away, masking the action by reaching for another scoop of sweets. ‘Does he know? About . . . what you told me?’

I should have known this would come back to bite me on the ass. ‘No. And I’d like to keep it that way, OK?’

He nods and runs his hand over his fuzzy head. ‘Of course. I would never say anything. You can trust me, you know that? I know we got off to a bad start and everything, but I . . . er . . . didn’t know about . . . yeah.’ The idea that Stu thinks I would ever trust him is almost enough to make me laugh, but laughing would ruin everything. I’ve got him right where I want him – firmly on my side – and if I have to pretend he’s my confidant or whatever, then that’s what I’ll do. For now.





chapter thirty-two


Kai and I always used to sit three rows from the front. I try not to look at our usual seats as Lucas leads us up the stairs towards the back.

Somehow I end up sitting between Lucas and Stu. It doesn’t bother me at first, but as the film goes on (and on and on) I start to feel as if I’m in one of those films where the hero is trapped in a room and the walls start closing in from both sides. Suddenly I feel out of my depth, trapped between these boys who are bigger and stronger than me. Boys who could do anything to me and I would be powerless to stop them. I don’t know where this train of thought comes from, but once it starts, it’s impossible to stop. I make myself as small as I possibly can in my seat, pulling my elbows in tight. Luckily Lucas got us tickets in the posh seats, so it’s actually possible for me to avoid touching either of them. It’s not that I think they’re going to do anything. Not here anyway.

About halfway through the film, when yet another car has somersaulted through the air and burst into flames, Lucas leans over to me. I have to lean towards him so that he can whisper in my ear. His breath is warm and tickles my ear as he speaks. ‘Are you OK?’

I nod and turn my attention back to the film, like I can’t bear to tear my eyes away for one second in case I miss someone getting shot.

‘Are you sure?’

I need to do something. I can’t sit here on the verge of a panic attack. I have two options: get out of here and never look back. Forget about this stupid plan and go back to being Normal Jem who would never ever find herself sandwiched between two boys in the posh seats of the cinema. Or I need to forget about being scared, forget how intimidating and strong these boys are, and start doing the things they’d expect of New Jem. The things they’d expect of any girl, really.