Undone(55)

I put my hand on her arm and give it a squeeze. ‘I think that’s great.’ Add a patronizing nod into the mix and that’s all it takes for the seeds of doubt to turn into full-blown paranoia.

‘Was she pretty?’

I run my fingers through my hair and pretend to think. ‘I dunno . . . I guess so. She looked a bit like you, now you mention it. Maybe a bit curvier?’

That went down about as well as expected. ‘I’m going to ask him about her.’

‘Okaaaaaay. If you really think that’s a good idea . . .’

‘Why wouldn’t it be?’ It’s too much for Nina to get her head around, all this thinking. Her poor brain just isn’t used to it.

I roll my eyes as if the answer couldn’t be more obvious. ‘He’ll think you don’t trust him, won’t he? And he’ll be so hurt and pissed off, he’ll probably head straight round to wotserface’s house for a rummage in her pick ‘n’ mix.’ I stop to let that sink in.

‘You’re right. I guess I’ll just have to keep an eye on him, won’t I? Just in case?’ She’s looking at me like I’m some kind of relationship guru. It’s hilarious.

I nod with all the (fake) sincerity I can muster. ‘That sounds like a good idea . . . We’d better be getting back – the boys will be wondering where we are!’

Now it’s Nina’s turn to put her hand on my arm. ‘Thanks for telling me, Jem. You’re a good friend.’ She hugs me and I watch myself grin in the mirror.

Lucas offers to walk me home and I say no. I can’t stand the idea that I’m a defenceless female in need of a chaperone. We go back and forth for a couple of minutes – him insisting and me refusing. He’s obviously used to getting his own way. It’s getting tiresome, so I relent and agree to him walking me halfway. At least that means he’s not going too far out of his way. Not that I care about him going out of his way – it’s the principle of the thing. He thinks I need looking after, protecting. It’s patronizing in the extreme. (Of course, there’s always the possibility that he’s just being nice. But I can’t allow myself to think things like that.)

He takes my hand and we meander through the streets. It’s a nice evening to be strolling hand in hand with a boy. It’s just a shame it has to be this particular boy. I wish with all my heart I could be doing this with my boy. Kai.

I let him walk me more than halfway – more like two-thirds. It’s not that I’m enjoying his company or anything; we’ve somehow ended up in the middle of a heated debate about films. I maintain that Halloween is the greatest horror movie ever made. Lucas is foolish enough to disagree with me. I stop in the middle of the pavement and reel off ten reasons why he couldn’t be more wrong.

He holds up his hands and laughs. ‘OK, OK, I give up! You win! I can’t compete with such in-depth – and frankly scary – knowledge.’ He gives me a sly look. ‘And if I’m being one hundred per cent honest . . . I’ve only seen the remake.’

‘Whaaaaat? Why the hell were you arguing with me if you haven’t even seen it?!’

‘That wasn’t arguing – that was discussing. There’s a difference. Arguing is stressful, discussing is fun. Plus it’s kind of funny watching you get all wound up about it.’

I narrow my eyes and plant my hands on his chest. His T-shirt is so thin that I can feel the heat of him underneath. I push him towards the side of the pavement. He backs up against a low wall and sits on it, his legs planted wide as usual. He looks up at me and grins. ‘You’re stronger than you look.’

‘Don’t patronize me, Lucas Mahoney. Don’t you dare.’ My voice is lower and throatier than normal. I can tell he likes it.

He grabs me round the waist and pulls me close. I feel trapped again, but I keep my smile in place. His hands feel huge and strong, even though I know full well they’re just normal boy-sized hands. In fact, his hands are rather dainty and refined if you really stop to look at them.

‘I wouldn’t dream of patronizing you. You are unpatronizable.’

‘That’s not a real word.’

‘I know. Can I kiss you now?’

Lucas Mahoney is staring at my mouth. He looks hungry. I shrug and say, ‘I suppose so . . .’ He lunges in and I duck my head out of the way. ‘On one condition . . .’

‘And what might that be?’

‘You have to promise you’ll watch Halloween with me.’ And as soon as the words are out of my mouth, it feels like the worst possible betrayal of Kai. Halloween was our thing. I won’t taint that by watching it with Lucas. I won’t.

Lucas slips his hand behind my neck and gently pulls my head towards his. ‘I think I can agree to those terms.’ After a few seconds of kissing, I forget about Halloween. After a couple of minutes, I forget about Kai.

We kiss until an angry bald man knocks on the bay window of his living room and follows it up with a gesture I can only interpret as Stop shoving your tongues down each other’s throats on my front wall.

Lucas and I run away laughing, hand in hand, like a couple of naughty kids. Then we stop in an alleyway and do more kissing. I have a feeling there’s going to have to be a lot more kissing before this is over. And maybe some other stuff too.

And maybe I don’t mind.