Undone(58)

By day 15 of my confinement I’m starting to feel better. Technically I’ve been feeling a little better since day 9, but I kept my mouth shut. I was starting to enjoy the extra attention from Mum. The soft, sympathetic voice, the blissful lack of nagging.

On Saturday I’m whiling away the afternoon flicking through the pages of one of the many, many magazines Mum bought me … Fashion! Boys! Makeup! More boys! Once I’m over the initial does-she-know-me-at-all revulsion, I actually manage to find a couple of almost interesting articles. Shameful.

The doorbell goes and I figure it must be one of Noah’s mates. It’s not until the timid knock at my bedroom door twenty minutes later that I get suspicious. Mum never bothers to knock (she reckons she forgets) and Dad’s knock is a machine-gun-like rata-tat-tat which always scares the crap out of me.

‘Come in?’ Definitely a question rather than a statement. I’m really not sure I want this person who is most definitely not a member of my family to come through that door. The only person I ever really want to see will never walk through that door again.

A plate laden with cupcakes is the first thing I see. Not quite what I was expecting. The hands holding the plate are dainty and perfect and everything you’d want hands to be. It’s Sasha, looking prettier and healthier than ever. Crap sandwich.

‘You poor thing! Why didn’t you call me?! I could have come round and kept you company!’

I clear my throat. ‘Um … I wasn’t really up for company, I guess.’

She perches on the side of my bed, a little too close for my liking. ‘Silly! What do you think friends are for?! I could have made you chicken soup or something.’ She sets the cupcakes on my bedside table. The frosting’s bright pink – it really doesn’t look like something you should put in your stomach. ‘Never mind, I’m here now. With cupcakes.’ She looks at me with her big brown eyes, all expectant and caring.

‘You made cupcakes.’ A stupid thing to say, but I’m struggling here. I look like shit. My vest has holes in it. There’s a spot on my chin the size of a golf ball. And worst of all, I’m not wearing any make-up.

‘I bake when I’m bored. And I have been majorly bored. Here, have one.’ She puts the plate under my nose and I manage not to puke on it.

‘That’s … um … really kind of you. OK if I have one later though? I feel a bit rough right now.’

‘Of course! Your mum said you’d been off your food, and now I look at you, you are looking kinda skinny. Maybe that’s what I could do with the rest of my summer – get ill, lose a few pounds.’

‘Yeah, like you really need to lose weight.’

She smiles sweetly at me because that was exactly what I was supposed to say. ‘So anyway, your mum is so nice! And your dad too. You’re so lucky – my parents are just so blah, you know? And Noah’s just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He managed to sweet-talk me into giving him a cupcake – he’s super smooth, that one.’

‘Yeah, so smooth. It runs in the family. So … what were you and my mum chatting about?’ Trying to sound like I don’t really care, like I’m just making conversation. But the thought of Sasha talking to Mum makes me feel uneasy. I’d dodged a bullet by getting ill and avoiding Lucas coming over, but I hadn’t anticipated one of Them turning up unannounced. I guess that’s just the kind of thing you do when you’re popular – assume that people will be glad to see you. Assume there’s nothing they’d rather do than see your pretty, perfect face when they’re looking like utter shit.

‘Oh, this and that. You, obviously. And she was asking me about Lucas.’ She sees the look on my face and rushes on, ‘Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything bad. She just wanted to know more about him – said you’d been all secretive.’

‘Oh God.’ I pull the duvet up over my head.

Sasha yanks the duvet right back down again. ‘Chill! All I said was he’s a good guy. I didn’t tell her he was my ex or anything – didn’t want her asking anything too … er … intimate. Anyway, how are you feeling?’ She doesn’t bother to wait for an answer. ‘So … I hear you two are, like, official and everything. How does it feel?’ She’s got so much energy she’s practically bouncing on the bed.

‘Um … good, I guess?’

‘You don’t sound so sure.’ She scrapes some frosting off a cupcake with her index finger. Her nail varnish is the exact same colour pink. She licks the icing off her finger with feline delicacy.

‘I’ve been a bit preoccupied with fever, phlegm, vomiting … that kind of thing.’

‘Soooooo … you two haven’t done the nasty yet?’

I shrug. ‘You seem to know everything else about me and Lucas – surely you know that too.’ I don’t quite manage to hide the edge in my voice.

‘As if I’m going to ask Lucas if he’s had sex with his new girlfriend! Give me some credit … But I’m well within my rights to ask you. It’s, like, the law of girl talk.’ Sasha tilts her head and narrows her eyes like she’s considering how to draw a picture of me. ‘You know you can trust me, don’t you? You can tell me anything. I’m really good with secrets … unless they’re lame secrets that shouldn’t even be secrets in the first place.’