Undone(46)

But yesterday was the last day of term and it was madness. Bugs and Stu were determined to make it the best ever – ‘the stuff of legend’ were the exact words Bugs used. I’ve always thought it’s kind of stupid that the Year 11s go crazy every year, running rampage through the school like they’re engaged in some kind of prison riot. I think they forget that they’re going to be coming back after the summer. That teacher you throw a water balloon at might well be teaching you in September, and everyone knows that teachers have longer memories than elephants.

But it’s tradition at Allander Park. And even though we all despise that word when it’s used about the tedious assemblies or the lame school song or the horrible brown ties we have to wear, suddenly we don’t mind it at all. It’s tradition for people to scrawl obscene messages on each other’s shirts; it’s tradition to steal the portrait of the headmaster from outside his office and replace it with something funnier than last year’s lot managed; it’s tradition to cause as much trouble as possible in whatever way you can think of. On the last day of term Allander Park doesn’t so much resemble a zoo, as a zoo where someone’s unlocked all the cages after pumping the animals full of fizzy drinks and E-numbers. Hyper doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Last year Kai and I hid out in the library at break and lunchtime. It seemed like the safest place to be. The stampeding Year 11s usually left other students alone, but you could never be sure. At the end of lunchtime a bunch of boys stumbled in – soaking wet even though it wasn’t raining outside – and asked loudly if they could borrow The Joy of Sex. The librarian was not amused. The leader of the gang leaned right over her desk and said, ‘Come on, we know you’ve got a copy stashed under there. Knowledge should be shared, you know? That’s what Mr Slater always says . . .’

Kai rolled his eyes at me and I shook my head. We thought we were terribly mature, looking down on these idiots even though we were a year younger. I never would have expected that this year I’d be right in the thick of things. And I certainly never would have expected to enjoy it so much, but there was something infectious about the excitement. I even threw a water balloon. Kai would not be pleased.

I couldn’t help wondering if the only reason I’d disapproved of the end-of-term shenanigans before was because I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to get involved. The real fun was reserved for the popular or semi-popular kids or even the kids who were just there. People like me (the old me) didn’t get a look in – apart from the odd bit of shirt-signing. But somehow I found myself being given a piggyback by Bugs, acting like I ruled the school. Acting like one of them – and loving it.

Bugs was just glad to have a girl’s legs wrapped around him, I think. He made a point of running round the entire building, making sure as many people as possible saw us. Hoping to lay those gay rumours to rest once and for all. We nearly floored Louise when we slammed through a set of doors. She told him to watch where he was f*cking going and gave me the kind of look that would shrivel flowers in a Disney film. I read a lot into that look of hers – more than the simple hatred that was probably intended. To me it seemed like she was saying, Enjoy it while it lasts. It’s only a matter of time before they realize you’re not one of them.

After school we headed to the park and lounged around talking about our summer plans. Nina’s the only one who’s doing anything remotely interesting – two months in New York with her dad. I wish my dad lived in New York . . . but I suppose that would mean my parents would have to be divorced and that would mostly be a bad thing. Still, I wouldn’t say no to an apartment overlooking Central Park. It beats a couple of weeks in Spain, which is the sum total of our summer-holiday plans.

There was also the obligatory reminiscing about the day. You could tell the boys enjoyed talking about the things they’d got up to almost as much as they’d enjoyed doing them. Exaggerations were already starting to creep into the story – especially from Stu: ‘Did you hear about me pelting Mr Watt with eggs? Man, you should have seen his face!’ (I was pretty sure no eggs had been involved.)

Lucas sat close to me, and when I said I wanted a go on the swings he volunteered to push me. I ignored the meaningful look from Sasha as we left the others. It was fine hanging out with Lucas without the others. We didn’t talk about anything much – I was too busy giggling like an idiot and he was too busy pushing me as high as he could, trying to show off how strong he was.

I came home to raised eyebrows from Mum and Dad when they saw the state of my shirt (and my tie, which I was wearing like a headband for some reason). They didn’t say anything though – just asked if I’d had a nice time and seemed pleased when I said yes. I fell into bed after a late dinner, completely exhausted. My mind was buzzing from the day’s activities but somehow I fell asleep quicker than I’d done in months.

I realized as soon as I woke up. I’d forgotten. How could I have forgotten?

I sit staring at the envelope for a few minutes. The date is wrong. I mean, the date is right. But it’s yesterday’s date. I feel like I’ve betrayed Kai. I know it doesn’t matter when I open the letter – as long as I read it. And I know that Kai’s not going to know. But I know, and that’s enough to make me want to crawl back under the covers and cry.

Jem,

If my calculations are correct (and you know how good I am at maths), it should be the start of the summer holidays right about now. I hope the exams weren’t too traumatic. I bet you’ve done better than you expected. That’s always the way with you.