Undone(14)

Trust me. People who say things like that are usually deeply untrustworthy or trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do. But I was slightly pissed and a boy wanted to kiss me. That’s a poor excuse for an excuse, I know, but it’s all I’ve got. A part of my brain was whispering that this was a terrible idea and something I would never ever do when sober. But a bigger, bossier part of my brain was saying, Go on, do it. Live a little. So what if he’s a total slimeball? It could be fun . . . ‘OK.’

Stu grinned. ‘Good girl.’ He leaned in close and I did the same, a bit more tentatively. The smell of sweat and beer was almost overwhelming, but I tried to ignore it. Our lips met and I nearly laughed again. This is utterly insane. But then I kind of got into it. The kissing was soft and gentle and not at all like I would have imagined it. I put one of my hands on his chest and I could feel his heartbeat. After a couple of minutes Stu pulled away. ‘Man, my knees are killing me . . . Why don’t you get down here with me?’

The look I gave him must have been dripping with scepticism, because he smiled a really sweet smile and said, ‘Seriously, I’m still trying to get over a tae kwon do injury . . . help me out here.’

So I slid off the chair and settled myself with my back against it. His hand was back on my thigh in no time, stroking. ‘There . . . that’s better, isn’t it?’

I shrugged. Something about this boy had turned me into a malleable, brainless idiot. This time I made the move to kiss him. Drunk Me had decided that kissing Stu was a Good Thing To Do.

Before I knew what was happening, Drunk Me was lying on the dusty floor of a greenhouse with a boy on top of her. The kissing was considerably less gentle. Stu’s tongue was scouring my mouth and it felt more like being at the dentist than anything else. His hands were everywhere – on my breasts and between my legs and they kept on squeezing and stroking and probing as if they couldn’t make up their mind where to settle.

The part of my brain that thought this wasn’t such a good idea was now working harder to make itself heard. It was practically screaming now. But sometimes Stu would do something right and my breath would catch in my throat.

It was only when he unbuttoned my jeans and tried to jam his hand into my underwear that I came to my senses. I grabbed his hand and held it. ‘Come on,’ he murmured into my ear. His hot breath made me think of a dog. ‘I just want to make you feel good.’

I burst out laughing. ‘That is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard! Don’t tell me girls actually fall for that.’

He stopped kissing my neck and looked at me strangely. I was suddenly aware of the weight of him crushing down on me. ‘Don’t you trust me?’ Now his hand was meandering up and down my stomach. It tickled.

‘Honestly? I don’t even know you.’

‘We can soon change that, can’t we?’ He dived in for another kiss and his hand snaked down and tried to sneak into my underwear again. When he touched me there it felt so good (seriously good) that I knew it had to stop. Now.

I pushed at his chest. ‘I . . . I have to go.’

He kissed me again. ‘You’re kidding, right?’

‘I’ve got a curfew. My parents will kill me if I’m late.’ I tried to squirm out from under him but he didn’t move. ‘Can you . . . um . . . get off me, please?’

‘C’mon, let’s just . . . it won’t take long, I promise.’

‘No, I really have to go.’

Stu wasn’t smiling any more. That look was back. The one that warned any girl with half a brain to stay away. For the very first time I realized the predicament I was in and I wanted to kick myself.

He grabbed both my wrists and pinned them either side of my head. ‘You’re not going anywhere till I say so.’ His voice was so menacing that I felt a stab of genuine ice-cold fear. He is going to rape me. This cannot be happening. I cannot get raped by this boy.

I couldn’t move – at all. He was crazily strong. The muscles in his arms stood out like ropes underneath his skin. The only part of my body that I could move was my head. Which was exactly what I did. I headbutted him as hard as I could and caught him on the nose. ‘Ah, f*ck! FUCK!’ His hands flew up to his nose and he rolled off me.

I scrabbled to my feet and stood over him. There was blood trickling between his fingers. ‘What the f*ck did you do that for, you stupid bitch?’ He looked up at me and his eyes were brimming with tears.

I was breathing hard and shaking. I knew I should probably run and get help, but Stu looked so pathetic. There was nothing remotely menacing about him any more. ‘You were going to . . .’

‘Going to what?’ His voice had gone nasal, thick with blood.

‘You know . . .’

He snorted and a fine spray of blood showered his chest. ‘What . . . like, rape you or something?! You’re f*cking certifiable, you know that? I was joking, for f*ck’s sake! You didn’t need to break my bloody nose, you mad cow.’

That stopped me. ‘No, you . . .’ I didn’t believe him. I didn’t. But what if he was telling the truth? ‘You were joking?’

He staggered to his feet, using one bloody hand to steady himself against the workbench. ‘Of course I was joking! You honestly think I need to go round raping girls to get some action?’ He shook his head and looked at me like I was insane. ‘They’re right about you, aren’t they? You are a freak.’