Undone(16)

She looked at me like I’d just asked her to solve a particularly complex equation and eventually answered with a not-very-helpful ‘Whatever’.

‘Thanks, I really appreciate it.’ I kept any trace of sarcasm out of my voice, because somehow I thought she’d find it more irritating this way. I hoped so, anyway.

The walk home was cold and lonely. Except I’m not all that sure it was cold – I just couldn’t stop shivering. I was angry at Kai for making me go to the stupid party in the first place and then deserting me. Angry at Stu for doing whatever it was that he’d done. Angry at Louise for living down to expectations and being a total mega-bitch at every opportunity. And angry at myself most of all for so many reasons I couldn’t hold them all in my head at the same time.

Somehow I managed to negotiate the notoriously tricky parental greeting. Dad had gone to bed, but Mum was still there, curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea. No matter how many times I told her she didn’t have to wait up for me, she always did. She asked lots of questions about the party and each answer took us further and further away from the truth. She was so interested and so lovely I wanted to cry. But then she went and ruined it all by saying, ‘I’m so pleased you’re making some new friends. You know what they say – it’s never a good idea to put all your eggs in one basket.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Kai is not a basket, Mother. He’s my best friend.’

‘I know he is, sweetie. And I love Kai to bits – you know that! But a girl needs to be around other girls from time to time.’

I picked myself up from the sofa and kissed Mum on the forehead. I wasn’t in the mood for an argument. ‘Whatever you say, Mother.’

She tutted and said, ‘Enough with the Mother thing! You know you only call me that when you want me to shut up.’

I raised my eyebrows and said nothing. She laughed and said, ‘Off to bed with you. We’re going to IKEA first thing in the morning and you’re not getting out of it just because you’re tired . . . or hungover.’ Now it was her chance to raise her eyebrows and smile knowingly. I scarpered while the going was good. Mum doesn’t mind me having the occasional drink; she’s pretty cool that way.

The tears appeared as soon as I shut my bedroom door. I shouldn’t have been surprised but somehow I was. I lay on my bed and sobbed and sobbed until my tear ducts were dry and my pillow was sodden.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Stu. It didn’t seem real. It didn’t seem like something that could have happened to me. The world must have tilted on its axis or something, and somehow I’d ended up in that greenhouse instead of Amber Sheldon or Louise or any of those girls who thought that wearing as few clothes as possible was a good look. Why had Stu followed me in there? He must have followed me, surely? Because he didn’t exactly strike me as the horticultural type. And what was I thinking, letting someone like him kiss me? It pretty much went against everything I stood for. Had I really been flattered by the attention? Perhaps I wasn’t so different from those girls after all.

The biggest question of all was one I would never know the answer to. What would have happened if I hadn’t stopped him?





chapter nine


There was a knock at the front door while we were still unpacking the IKEA purchases. I was quizzing Mum about why she’d felt the need to buy two hundred tea lights, and she was going on about ‘mood lighting’.

Kai stood on the doorstep looking sheepish and tired. His hair was all over the place – a look that I was hardly ever allowed to see these days. He was wearing an old T-shirt that was at least two sizes too small for him and I could see a narrow strip of skin between it and his jeans. ‘Before you say anything . . . I’m sorry I didn’t get your messages. And you shouldn’t have walked home on your own – that was a really stupid thing to do.’

I dragged him inside and upstairs before he could say anything else. ‘Mum doesn’t know I came home alone and I’d like it to stay that way, thank you very much. Where were you?’

He dived onto the bed and landed face first. ‘I’m sooooo tired.’ His voice was muffled by the duvet.

‘Kai! I looked everywhere for you!’

‘I looked everywhere for you! And I lost my phone and spent half the night looking for that.’ I couldn’t see his face, which made it very hard to tell if he was telling the truth.

‘But I asked around and no one had seen you.’

‘Probably because only about four people there knew my name! Anyway, missy, I’ve got a bone to pick with you . . .’ He turned over so he was lying on his back. His T-shirt had ridden up his belly. It was smooth and flat and made me think about Stu. ‘Get your arse over here.’ He patted the bed beside him and I lay on my side so that I was facing him. Kai’s face was great in profile.

‘Go ahead . . . pick your . . . bone.’

‘I usually prefer to do that in the privacy of my own bedroom, now that you mention it.’

‘You are disgusting.’

‘Awwww, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me . . . Anyway . . . a little birdie told me that you got down and dirty with Stuart Hicks in the potting shed last night.’ He turned onto his side so we were face to face, almost close enough to kiss. ‘And I told the little birdie that it couldn’t possibly be true because Stuart Hicks is revolting and probably has more STDs than a whole clinic. But the birdie was pretty adamant that you’d been spotted heading off into a quiet corner of the garden with Mr Hicks in hot pursuit. So . . . what do you say, Halliday? True or false?’