Toe the Line(60)

“There’s been something weighing on me. It’s time I told you.”

His forehead wrinkled. “Talk to me.”

Over the next several minutes, I confessed everything—from Archie’s proposal to my doubts about using an anonymous donor.

For the first time probably ever, my cool and confident boyfriend showed a look of true concern. Despite knowing all about Archie’s visit, he hadn’t seen this coming any more than I had when Archie dropped the bomb.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, Noelle. That would be harder for me to stomach than you getting sperm from a stranger.”

“I know. I can absolutely understand why you feel that way.”

Jason gnawed at his bottom lip, looking contemplative. “At the same time, I can’t in good conscience stop you if it’s what you really want. I care about you a great deal. And I’d love to continue to see where things go with us. I don’t have the right to keep you from something I can’t give you myself.”

I let his words sink in. Well, it wasn’t that he couldn’t. It was that he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be tied down. That was exactly why I couldn’t let him be the deciding factor in this. I had to do what was best for me, even if I owed him an explanation first.

“So you would accept this, if I decided to take Archie up on his offer?” My body stiffened as I braced for his answer.

He reached for my hand. “I would.” He hesitated. “As long as you can promise me there’s nothing more to it with this guy.”

“There isn’t.” I swallowed.

That was a lie, of course. Because despite Archie’s good intentions, in my heart there would always be something more when it came to him, even if it was one-sided.

That night after Jason left, I picked up the phone, called Archie, and never looked back.





CHAPTER 22


ARCHIE


EVEN AS I opened the door to let Noelle into my mother’s house, it didn’t quite feel real.

“Here it is, your new home for a while,” I told her.

Noelle had arrived in California last night. After I got her from the airport, I’d brought her to my apartment and cooked her a late dinner. We’d stayed up talking—going over the itinerary of appointments, among other things. I’d insisted on her taking my room while I slept in Clancy’s.

So this morning was the first time she was seeing the house she’d be staying in while she was here.

It had worked out well that I still hadn’t sold Mom’s place. At the moment, it was a dumping ground for all her old things. Unfortunately, Noelle wouldn’t be living alone. I’d been letting my mother’s friend, Roz, stay here free of charge, aside from utilities. Roz had helped me a lot with Mom over the years. When her landlord had recently sold the house she’d been renting, I’d told her she could live here until I sold the place. But I was glad she wasn’t home at the moment so I could show Noelle the house in peace.

Noelle looked around. “Wow…okay.”

“It’s still pretty cluttered.”

“It’s got character.” She turned to me and smiled. “It’s perfect. Truly. It feels like a real home, you know?”

After my father died, my mother and I had sold our old house and downsized, moving into this slightly dated property together. There were a lot of heavy memories here, all the times I’d struggled to take care of her while balancing school and work. Having Noelle’s vibrant spirit brighten up the place for a while made me happy. I still couldn’t believe she’d changed her mind about my proposition, but from the moment she’d called to tell me she’d had a change of heart—about a month ago—I’d started getting her bedroom ready.

I gestured down the hall. “I’ll show you to your room.”

I’d put new bedding in my mother’s old room and spruced it up.

As Noelle stepped through the doorway, she dropped one of her bags. “Oh my God, Archie. It’s so nice in here.”

“I might’ve gotten some help from an eager little girl. She enjoyed picking out the purple bedspread.”

“That’s so sweet.” She ran her hand along the soft comforter. “What have you told Clancy about me?”

“Just that you’ll be living out here for a while, and I’m giving you a place to stay. She knows you’re an old friend of mine and is excited to meet you. She obviously doesn’t remember the first time when she was a baby.”

“I can’t wait to meet her.” Her expression changed. “What have you told Mariah?”

I sure as fuck hadn’t told her the truth. I’d be putting that off for as long as possible. Things were good with Mariah right now, and I didn’t want to rock the boat until I had to. Our divorce had just been finalized. It had been a fairly quick process, since neither of us contested anything.

“Mariah knows you’re moving out here, but I haven’t told her our plans, if that’s what you mean. I will eventually, though.”

Noelle cringed. “How’s she going to react?”

“I don’t think she’s going to be happy about it, and that’s why I don’t want to tell her yet. It won’t change my decision, and I don’t want that negative energy looming over us.”