Toe the Line(61)



Noelle nodded, seeming tense. I wondered if she was having doubts now that she was here, and it was even more real. We weren’t wasting time, either, because we had our first appointment with the fertility specialist tomorrow. Noelle had taken her trigger shot yesterday, an injection to stimulate her ovaries, and both of us had already undergone pre-IUI testing. She’d worked with a doctor out in New York initially who kept in communication with the new doctor here.

“Why don’t we leave your stuff for now and head out for a bit? I’ll show you around the neighborhood. There are some shops and restaurants within walking distance.”

She perked up. “I would love that.”

The rest of the day was pretty chill. Noelle and I had lunch at a vegan restaurant I’d been wanting to try. Neither of us was vegan, but this place had some awesome veggie bowls on the menu. We also browsed some shops and stayed out until sunset. I hadn’t had this much fun since the last time we were together, in New York. It didn’t matter what we were doing as long as I got to listen to her infectious laugh. But I tried not to lose touch with reality, constantly reminding myself that she was involved with someone.

When we got back to the apartment, Roz still wasn’t home, which seemed unusual. But I again appreciated the privacy since I knew she’d talk our ears off.

I followed Noelle into her new room and smiled as I saw her notice something I’d hung on the wall especially for her. She’d missed it the first time she saw the room.

Noelle pointed. “Oh my God. That painting. It’s...”

“Indeed, it is.” I smiled.

“How did you get it?”

When Noelle and I had last visited Whaite’s Island, she’d admired this painting by a local art dealer on Main Street. It was a view of the beach with the clam shack at the corner, a simple but perfect depiction of one of our favorite places in the world. I’d made a note of it and called the gallery after I got back to California. I’d had it shipped here, but then life got crazy, and I’d never had an opportunity to give it to her in all these years. But I had to believe there was no better time than the present.

“I bought it soon after our last trip there. I’d been holding it for the right time to give it to you.”

“What, were you waiting for my fortieth birthday or something?”

Smiling, I shrugged.

“I love it,” she said. “Thank you. For this. And for everything.”

She didn’t have to thank me, though she’d done so multiple times.

“What time do we have to be at the doctor’s tomorrow?” I asked.

“Eleven AM.” She sat on the bed. “Do you think you’ll have any…issue? You know…”

It took me a second to figure out what she was talking about. “I think we’re beyond the point of talking in code, Noelle.” I took a seat across from her. “Do you mean will I have a problem jerking myself off and coming on cue?”

“Yeah. I would imagine it’s a lot of pressure.”

“Unfortunately, not for me.” I laughed. “I’ve become quite accustomed to my hand lately. And I’m abstaining for forty-eight hours so it will be…hearty.”

Her eyes widened. “Is that what they recommended?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. “It’s no biggie. I’ve survived thus far.” I sighed. “You have that look, though.”

“What look?” She laughed.

“Like you want to ask me something else.”

“It’s none of my business, but I’m curious if you’ve been with anyone since your separation?”

My eyes widened. “Are you asking if I’ve had sex?”

She nodded.

“Yes,” I admitted. “With one person.”

Noelle stayed silent, and I took that as my cue to elaborate.

“She’s an investor in our restaurant. She lives in London. She was in town for a week once. It turned out we were both in the midst of a separation at the time. This was after Mariah got together with Andy, of course. Anyway, we bonded over our respective situations, and after a few drinks, I ended up at her hotel. It continued over the course of the week she was in town. Then she went back.” I shook my head. “It was a dumb decision to get involved with a business partner. It was just sex—protected, of course. I haven’t seen her since.”

“What was her name?”

“Andrea.”

“Sorry for being nosy. I was just curious.”

“You can ask me anything you want.”

“Okay…” She fell into a daze.

“Are you thinking about tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

I offered a reassuring smile. “It’s gonna be good. Don’t worry.”

Tomorrow was showtime. Not only would I be giving my first sperm deposit, but shortly after, it would be passed into Noelle using a catheter.

“I’m so happy not to have to do this alone,” she said.

I winked. “We’re in this together.”

? ? ?

It was a cool morning as we stood outside the medical building, both of us seeming to hesitate before going in. The magnitude of what we were about to do must have started to set in.

I reached my hand out for hers. “You okay?”

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