Toe the Line(54)

“No. I stopped years ago.”

“Maybe it would be a good idea to go back. There are a lot of feelings to work out here.”

“I think you might be right.” He let out a long breath. “God. It’s so good to hear your voice. I’ve missed the calming effect it has on me.”

I closed my eyes, angry at my foolish heart for leaping so easily whenever he complimented me. Old habits died hard, no matter how many times I’d tried to kill them over the years. As much as I cared about Archie, he’d closed the door on a romantic relationship with me years ago. He’d made decision after decision that created more distance between us. I was finally in a good place after the trauma of watching the man I’d pined for marry someone else. Little did he know, I’d been to therapy myself through the years—in part to get over him. I needed to continue to keep my feelings in check for my own well-being.

“I saw those photos of you and Jason that your coworker tagged you in,” he said.

“Oh…I wondered what you were referring to in your email because I knew I didn’t post anything.”

Archie cleared his throat. “Things seem to be going well with him?”

“Yeah.” I picked some lint off my pants. “We’ve been together about nine months now. It’s a nice, low-key relationship. No expectations. Just mutual respect. We have a really good time together.”

After a moment, he said, “Well, that’s good. I’m happy you’re happy.”

There was a lot I hadn’t told Archie—namely my plans to have a baby on my own. But it wasn’t the appropriate time to drop that bomb. Tonight was about Archie, not me. I’d send him a message about my news when his mind was clearer.

“You’ll get through it, Archie. I know you will. Your daughter will be better off in the long run, having two parents who are happier apart than they were together.”

He sighed. “I hope so.”

Archie and I spent about an hour on the phone catching up. Among other things, he told me he was in the process of getting his mother’s house ready to be sold. He was currently letting a friend of hers stay there.

“I can’t thank you enough for making time for me tonight,” he said.

“I told you I’d always be there for you. That’s the way it works with us.”

“I hope you know I’d do the same for you,” he said. “I feel like you’ve always had your shit together, so I’ve never been able to prove that. My life has taken some crazy turns, but in the midst of everything, you’re always on my mind, Noelle. Even if I don’t always reach out.”

It was so good to catch up, even if the circumstances weren’t exactly joyful. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed Archie until tonight.

But as soon as I had the thought, a voice of warning sounded in my head.

Be careful, Noelle. You’ve come so far. Don’t ruin it.





CHAPTER 20


ARCHIE


AFTER A REALLY rough stretch, things were finally looking up in my life.

A couple of months after breaking the divorce news to Clancy, I’d settled into a new normal, purchasing a small home down the street from the house where my daughter still lived with Mariah in Irvine. My place wasn’t fully furnished yet, but it was a work in progress. The one room I’d managed to complete was my daughter’s, as I tried to make the best of the situation, letting her pick out the colors and breaking the bank on all new furniture and décor—anything to lighten the blow of her having to live two separate lives thanks to my mistakes.

Because I worked at the restaurant on weekends, I had my daughter two weekday evenings at my place and visited her every chance I got when I wasn’t working on Saturday and Sunday mornings. We’d sometimes have breakfast or lunch together on those days before I had to head into work.

I’d asked Mariah not to let Andy move in with her for at least a year. Thankfully, she hadn’t argued. I’d been lucky that my soon-to-be ex-wife was a fairly reasonable person. I supposed I should also feel lucky that she’d found someone to share her life with. This divorce would’ve been inevitable whether she’d met Andy or not. At least she wasn’t hurting so much anymore, so I didn’t have to feel any more guilty for not loving her the way she deserved.

Then a few days ago an email had hit my inbox, knocking the wind out of me in the process—more like turning my world on its axis. The funny thing was, I’d been thinking about Noelle more than usual even before that message. Now that my life seemed to be on even ground again, I’d finally had time to think about all the things I’d been missing. I’d been pondering finally going to visit her, which was long overdue. I’d even looked at flights to New York.

But since reading her message, I’d been in an almost frozen state, unable to form a response. Normally, when I had such a dilemma, I’d write to Noelle and get her advice. But how was I supposed to do that when the subject of my dilemma was Noelle herself?

One Sunday afternoon, with an hour to go before work, I finally bit the bullet and picked up the phone to call her. Any more time without responding might make her think I was judging her or something, which wasn’t the case at all.

She answered after a couple of rings. “Hey, Archie.”

“Hey, you.”