The Randy Romance Novelist(71)

“Rosie,” I said gently, wanting to shield her from all the judging eyes.

“Tough crowd,” she huffed. “Well, this has been fun, but I just remembered I have to finish stuffing the giant papier maché penis at home. Don’t worry, I’ve got a mega pack of Legacy condoms going inside. Go Legacy,” she said, with less gusto than before.

Before I could grab her hand in mine and walk her out the door, she sprinted through the party, balls flapping behind her, and she got in the elevator.

I handed my drink to Eric to go after her when he gripped my shoulder to stop me. “I need to speak with you, now.”

I didn’t like the tone of his voice at all.

Fuck me.

***

By the time I got home, the apartment was completely dark, Sir Licks-a-Lot was lying in one of Rosie’s bras, rubbing his face against the cup, and there was a lump on one side of the bed.

Rosie.

I took off my jacket and rested it against the chair in our bedroom. I stared at her the entire time I took off my tie and my button-up shirt. I’ve known Rosie for a long time, but not once had I ever experienced a night with her like the one we shared tonight.

She insulted the brand, then tried to backpedal her way through the insult by exposing our sex life to a very inappropriate level, so now the most important people in charge of my job know I’m some kind of sex fiend that, in fact, doesn’t make his girlfriend’s * raw, thanks to Legacy.

Christ.

After all that, she wound up parading her vagina balls off the underwire of her bra for everyone to see. I had to give the girl credit, she did put on a good show, a mortifying one, but a good one.

The last thing I wanted to do was go into a conference room with Eric after she left. I wanted to chase after Rosie and tell her everything was going to be okay, that I wasn’t mad at her, that I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t hurt. I knew she was embarrassed; I could tell by the way her cheeks flamed up with an adorable blush.

But that wasn’t an option, because when Eric told me to meet him in the conference room, I knew I had one choice, to try to keep my job, especially since Rosie and I would be bringing a baby into the world.

When I walked into the room, I had one thing in mind: keep my damn job. Fuck the director position, I just needed a steady paycheck. I would figure out everything else after that.

When I arrived in the room, I was only expecting to see Eric, not Darlene as well. At that moment, I knew it was over. There is only so much you can do in front of clients, and your girlfriend dropping her vaginas balls on the floor in front of them while insulting the product wasn’t something clients got over very quickly.

The words still rang through my head as I brushed my teeth.

“Henry, you’re going to have to pack up your cube.”

My stomach dropped, and I immediately thought I was going to throw up. Without even thinking, I stood up for Rosie, telling them she’s been having a hard time lately with working from home, feeling cooped up with a cat who won’t stop licking his crotch, and I couldn’t help it, I dropped the bomb on them, praying they would take mercy on me. I told them she was expecting and she’s been a little hormonal. I begged them to reconsider, to think about my unborn child. Yup, I went there. I had no shame. I pulled a Rosie and had diarrhea of the mouth.

It didn’t change their minds; they still told me to pack my cube.

I nodded my head in defeat and started to walk away when Eric started laughing hysterically. His laugh would haunt me for days.

He then proceeded to tell me that I had to pack my cube because I was moving into a new office. I got the job.

Come to find out, Legacy wasn’t the kind of company that based their decisions off the people they would be working with, they based them off the product and who could sell it the best. Imagine that.

They chose my campaign before Rosie even began her insanity for the night. Afterwards, I talked to the executives at Legacy, and they said if I could still produce a campaign like the one I offered while taking care of my rather crazy and pregnant girlfriend, then they wanted me on their team.

I had never felt more relieved in my entire life. I left that party feeling lighter, not just because Tasha was out of the picture. She would be working somewhere else because it was too beneath her to take my job, or report to me, but for the first time in a month, I felt relief for my future.

I was going to be able to provide for my family.

After I brushed my teeth, I slipped into bed and pressed my chest up against Rosie’s back, wrapping my arm around her stomach and burying my head into her hair. I gently rubbed her belly, smiling to myself about the little life we’d created.

First thing tomorrow, I would be calling Derk. We were going ring shopping before his bachelor party. It was time to make Rosie mine forever.

Despite her quirkiness, inability to stop talking, and aptitude for bringing on the worst scenarios imaginable, I couldn’t imagine my life without her. Her smile, those lips, her eyes, her genuine and innocent heart, her tenacity, and her beautiful soul. I not only wanted them to be a part of me, I needed them in my life to breathe. Rosie was everything to me, I would be damned if I took another breath in this life without her by my side.

It was time I took my randy little romance novelist and made her an engaged one.





Chapter Sixteen


Beat That Meat