The Randy Romance Novelist(73)

Henry: We’re going to have to talk about it at some point. Things happened last night . . .



Rosie: Yes, I know. Listen, I don’t have time for this. We can catch up later. Have fun tonight.



My phone signaled another text message, but I ignored it and tried to match one eye to the other with my liner skills. I was really good at doing a smoky eye with a cat-like eyeliner. It was the one thing I could claim as a talent . . . that and the ability to embarrass myself at the drop of a hat.

Nailing life in the embarrassment department. Want to know what an awkward sweat feels like? Hang around with me, I will get those armpits pooling in no time.

I should probably start charging people to be in my audience. I was bound to do something shameful for others to talk about for weeks after.

I was applying mascara when my phone started to ring, I looked down at the caller ID and saw Henry’s name pop up. Irritated that he wouldn’t just leave me alone, I answered tersely.

“What?”

“Whoa, that’s quite a way to answer the phone.”

“I’m sorry.” I really wasn’t, but I didn’t want to get into a fight right before Delaney’s party. “I’m just really busy right now, trying to put everything together. Do you need something?”

“Yeah, I need to see you.”

Before I knew what was happening, Henry came through the door of the locker room, holding his phone to his ear and a small present in his hands.

I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped me. He was dressed in a pair of black jeans, black Converses, and a button-up black and white gingham shirt with the first couple of buttons undone, showing off his well-defined chest. He was freshly shaven and his hair was styled perfectly to the side. He was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on.

“Hey, love. You didn’t give me a chance to give you this before you left.” He held out a present for me. It was in a little white bag with yellow tissue paper sticking out the top.

Smiling, I took the present from him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. He didn’t let me get very far because he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a deeper kiss. I took this moment to revel in the way he felt pressed up against me. He was being so sweet right now; maybe he really did want me to be around, maybe he wasn’t planning an escape route to try to get away from the crazy as quickly as possible.

Then again, he probably didn’t want to set off the crazy right before the bachelorette party.

Either way, I gripped the back of his neck and stood on my toes while I let my tongue explore his mouth. Our kisses grew heavy, and for a moment, I thought he was going to lift me up on the counter and pull down my leggings, but before that fantasy could become a reality, he stepped away and casually wiped his mouth with his hand.

Well, that was rude.

“What? Did I slobber on you? Don’t want my lips all over yours?” There it was, the devil tongue. I was pretty sure I was popping out a creature of hell, and every time I said something uncharacteristic, I blamed it on the baby.

“No,” he said, taken aback. “I just didn’t want lipstick on my lips when I went to a bachelor party.”

“Mm-hmm,” I hummed sarcastically before ripping the tissue paper out of the bag. Whatever was in the bag must have been wrapped in the paper because the bag was completely empty.

“Um, the present is on the ground.”

We both looked down to see a button made out felt fabric in the shape of a penis with puffy paint on it, spelling out “Maid of Honor.”

I bent down and picked it up, wincing at the way I could already feel my stomach making an impact on my everyday life. “Did you make this?”

He definitely did. The puffy paint writing was very messy, but it was undeniably Henry’s chicken scratch.

“I did,” he puffed his chest out. “I thought the maid of honor needed something special to wear as well. I mean, you did put this all together.”

On the back of the penis was a safety pin to secure it to my clothing, so I did just that. Like a corsage at prom, I pinned it right above my breast, but instead of a beautiful arrangement of flowers, I had a felt peener with puffy paint writing.

I was living the high life.

“Thank you,” I said genuinely. “I love it, and thank you for bringing it all the way down here. You didn’t have to do that.”

Once again, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. “Of course I did. I wanted my girl feeling special too.”

“Thanks.” I peeked at the clock and winced. “Yikes, Delaney is going to be here soon. I need to finish my hair and makeup, and you need to get to Derk’s for the party.”

“Yeah.” Putting distance between us, he let go of me and stepped toward the door. “Are you drinking tonight?”

Weird question for him to ask.

“No, I need to make sure no one gets hurt. Someone has to be the responsible one tonight.”

He visibly relaxed, as if I told him we’d just saved five hundred dollars by switching to Geico.

“All right, good. Be careful and please don’t ride the penis. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

I didn’t plan on riding the penis, didn’t think it was baby safe, but he didn’t have to know that.

“Didn’t plan on it. I only want to ride one penis,” I winked.