Shut Out (Bayard Hockey #1)(79)

My life was easy up until this year. I got myself into a bad situation and it threw a wrench into my plans. I never had to work so hard in my life as I have since Brittany accused me, Ace, and Crash of raping her. I was bitter about that, bitter and angry and frustrated.

But maybe I’ve learned something about myself this year. Life was easy. I was talented. Everyone supported me. Then they didn’t…and I had to do it on my own.

And I did.

I’m strong. Determined. Tough. I believed in myself when others didn’t.

Even Skylar, dammit.

I can do this. I have to do this. There are other ways to get into the NHL…

“Jacob…”

I nearly fall off my chair at hearing her voice. I whip around and stare at her, standing in my bedroom doorway. “Sky.” I blink. “What are you doing here?”

She stands there looking so damn beautiful. She clasps her hands in front of her and tension lines her face. Her black coat is open over her pink waitress uniform. “Sorry to just walk in.” She’s nearly yelling the words over my blasting music. “I rang the doorbell a couple of times and you didn’t answer, but I knew you were home, so I decided to come in and…” She waves a hand. “I guess you didn’t hear the bell over the music.”

I reach over and turn it down. “Yeah. Guess not.” I swivel in my chair again to face her. “Why are you here?”

She twists her fingers together. “I was going to come to see you, anyway, but I talked to Ben at the diner, and he said that…you got in a fight today.”

My jaw tightens. “Yeah.”

She bites her bottom lip. So cute. “What happened?”

I curse under my breath. “It was so f*cking stupid.”

“Fighting usually is.” Our eyes meet. “Unless it’s, you know, on the ice and part of the game.”

I smile at that. She hates fighting even on the ice, but somehow I’ve convinced her that it’s part of the game. “Black Jack was pissed about my stepping in the other night with Ella.” My forehead tightens. “I know you two aren’t talking much…did you know about it?”

She nods slowly. “She came and talked to me that night. She told me what happened.” The corners of her mouth turn down. “Thank you, Jacob. If you hadn’t done that…” She closes her eyes.

I nod. “Well, Black Jack’s pissed at me about it. He came into the dressing room and was mouthing off and I…lost it. I punched him in the nose. We threw down and…” I shrug and stare at the floor.

“Ben said you might be in trouble about it.”

“Yeah. Coach is talking to the head of the program about what kind of disciplinary action needs to happen.”

“Oh, Jacob.”

“Yeah, I know.” I rub the back of my neck. “I was supposed to stay out of trouble. Stupid thing is, I’m not a fighter. That wasn’t the kind of trouble I ever envisioned getting into.” I give a short laugh. “I guess we’ll see what happens.”

“What did Jack say?”

“Eh. Crude stuff. He’s an *. Also, he knows about me being accused of rape. He was a pig about it.” I sigh. “I guess everyone knows about it now.”

“Ben said he knew.”

“Yeah.” I narrow my eyes at her. “You two had quite the conversation, eh?”

One corner of her mouth lifts. “We talked a bit, yes.”

“You said you were going to come over, anyway…?”

“Right.” She swallows. “I want to apologize to you. I know I hurt you when I believed that you had raped someone.”

My insides start shaking. “You don’t believe it anymore?”

“No.” She meets my eyes, and hers are glowing. “You would never do something like that.”

“How do you know that?” I lift my chin, my teeth set.

“Because I know you.” She takes a step into my room. “You’ve always treated me so well. Considerate and gentle and…generous. I’ve heard the things you said in the training classes. And you stepped in and helped Ella.” She takes a breath. “I got the impression you were uncomfortable with the training topics, and now I know why. But it wasn’t because you were guilty.”

I swallow, my throat thick. Her words mean so goddamn much to me. “Yeah, actually, it was.”

She eyes me curiously.

“I came to realize I’d done something stupid, despite the fact that I never touched that girl. I swear to you, Skylar, she said she wanted to do it. I even asked her if she was sure and she just kept taking her clothes off.”

She winces but says, “Tell me about it.”

I inhale slowly. “Okay. Last April, I was at a house party with a bunch of my teammates. The Warriors. We were drinking and there were a bunch of girls there. One of them—Brittany—wanted…” He swallows. “She wanted a hat trick. Meaning, she wanted to have sex with three hockey players at the same time. With my buddies Ace and Crash and me.”

Her hand goes to her throat as she listens.

“We all went upstairs. There was lots of dirty talk and laughing and we all got naked.”

She closes her eyes briefly and nods.

“I started to have misgivings about it. I didn’t realize why at the time. I didn’t feel comfortable with it. But Ace and Crash…went for it. I left to go take a leak, and when I went back in I just wanted to leave. I asked Brittany if she was sure…and I tried to tell the guys this wasn’t a good idea…but it was too late, they were already…well, they were already apparently having a good time. I grabbed my clothes, and I…left.” I pause. “I didn’t have sex with her.”