Say You Love Me(4)

“She could never replace your friendship,” Cody said. “You know that, right?”

“Well, yeah, but you know what I mean. TJ is the first person she goes to now. A lot of our friendship was spent talking about TJ and how much she loved him.” I laughed. “And her being angsty about the relationship, but that’s changed now. She has no need to be angsty about it. She has him and they’re happy and well, it’s just different.”

“Is that why you’ve been so spacy?” He looked at me in concern. “You really shouldn’t let it bother you so much.”

“That’s not why I’ve been spacy,” I said, then stopped. “Well, kinda,” I lied. Better for him to think I was worried about my friendship with Mila than for him to know I was obsessed with thinking about him. I definitely didn’t want him to know how much time he spent in my head and dreams. I knew it was almost obsessive and would most likely make him think I was a nutcase. I mean, who was in love with a man who barely knew she existed? I was an idiot and the more I thought about the actual situation, the more I knew that it wasn’t a healthy one to be in. I just didn’t know how to get out of it.

“Well, you know that I...” Cody’s voice trailed off and he jumped up as the doorbell rang. “Hmm, saved by the bell. That must be them.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, though I was curious as to what he’d been about to say.

“We can continue this talk later though, if you want to.” He looked down at me and gave me such a warm look that my heart melted into pieces.

“Sure,” I said and smiled up at him. How could I not love this man? He was so concerned for my feelings, even though he didn’t love me. God, I wasn’t sure how I was ever going to get over him.



* * *



“Sally, you look gorgeous.” Mila hurried into the room and gave me a big hug, her long blond hair cascading down her shoulders, her cheeks bright and her eyes cheery.

“So do you.” I gave her a huge hug and stared at her. “Being in love agrees with you.”

“Haha, thanks.” She grinned and looked back at TJ for a few seconds. I watched them exchanging a loving look and I turned away slightly, feeling envious. How horrible was it that I was jealous of my best friend? I was happy that she’d found love, but I was sad for myself. Would I ever find that? And would Cody ever look at me in the way that TJ looked at Mila?

“So what have you guys been up to?” Mila asked as she looked around the room. “Sorry we’re late. Bad traffic.”

“No worries.” I shook my head. “We’re were just sitting on the couch, talking.”

“Oh?” Her eyes brightened and I shook my head slightly, to indicate to her that it wasn’t anything good or exciting.

“Just about random stuff.” I gave her a quick smile and then leaned in to whisper into her ear, “I think I just need to forget Cody. I don’t think it’s ever going to happen.”

“Oh Sally.” She chewed on her lower lip. “You don’t know that.”

“Let’s be realistic. We’re not you and TJ.”

“You guys could be even better.”

“Really, Mila?” I laughed. “Is there anything better than you and TJ?”

“Ha-ha, I don’t know.” She laughed back at me and her eyes were glowing. “I think that would be pretty hard. I mean, we’re pretty awesome.”

“Yeah, exactly. So if you think you guys are the top, where do me and Cody fit in? We are nowhere on the scale of good. We aren’t even on the scale of bad. We aren’t even on any scale, that’s how pathetic it is.”

“Oh Sally.” Mila laughed. “Don’t say that, that’s horrible.”

“It’s horrible, but true.” I started laughing. “It’s pathetic. This whole situation is pathetic. I don’t even know why I bother.”

“What are you two laughing about?” Cody looked over at me and gave me a curious look.

“Nothing much. Mila was just telling a joke,” I said with a smile.

“About me?” TJ raised his eyebrows at me.

“Could it be about anyone or anything else? She’s positively obsessed with you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” He grinned and walked over to us, leaned down and gave Mila a kiss on the cheek. “All you should be talking about and thinking about is me.”

“Oh stop with the sap, you two.” Cody shook his head as he walked over and joined us. “I hope tonight is not going to be some public PDA date-night with your two best friends standing awkwardly at the side.”

“Would we do that?” Mila asked him with a small smile.

“Yes.” He rolled his eyes. “If I’d known it was going to be some sort of date night, I would have brought a date with me tonight,” he said and my heart sank. I could see Mila’s eyes on me and I knew that she knew just how devastated that comment had made me, but I attempted to keep a small smile on my face.

“Yeah, me too. I would have brought one of my guys if I’d known,” I lied.

“Oh? What guys?” Cody looked at me. “Anyone I know?”

“No.” I shook my head, but inside I was thinking, how would you know some random guy I was dating?