Say You Love Me(11)

“I mean, I know that’s not the goal, but if that’s what happens, are you okay with that?” Mila looked over at the bar and stared at Cody for a few seconds and then back at me, her expression thoughtful.

“Mila, the friendship would be over so fast if that were to happen. There is no way in hell that I can see us as best friends and me being cool with his wife and kids and not feeling jealous as hell.” I groaned and put my face in my hands. “Honestly, it would kill me. It makes me want to cry right now, just thinking of him with someone else.”

“Well, you’d be married with your own kids as well.”

“I, yeah, uhm, if that is the way you think this is going to go down, then maybe this is not such a good idea. That is not the end goal I’m looking for.” I grabbed my glass and took another large sip of wine.

“I mean, yeah, that’s not the ultimate goal.” She looked guilty. “I’m not even sure why I brought that up. That’s not an option. The goal is for you and Cody to get married.”

“Or to date, at least. I at least want a chance for him to really get to know me and see if he wants to be with me. I want him to fall in love with me.”

“Our main goal should be the end goal though, right?” Mila looked at me hesitantly. “I mean, the end goal isn’t to go on a few dates, is it? I mean, what are a few dates? If what you say is true and he’s the love of your life… If he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with… If he’s the one you think about, the one you love, the one in your heart… Then he’s the one you want to spend eternity with. He’s the one you want to marry.”

“I just feel like a psycho saying that out loud.” I made a face at her. “We haven’t even kissed and I want to marry him? How does that not sound crazy?”

“Hey, we all need to be a little crazy.” She grinned. “And if that’s what you want, you need to call it into being.”

“Call it into being? Oh, my God, Mila, what are you talking about?”

“You need to create a vision board.”

“A vision board?” I blinked at her. “What’s that?”

“It’s a board of what you envision in your life. What you want to accomplish. What you see in your future.”

“Uhm, okay?”

“So we need to get your favorite photo of Cody and put it front and center.”

“What?” I screeched. “I’m not putting a photo of Cody on a board. That really is psycho.”

“Sally, listen to me.”

“Ugh, I’m afraid to keep listening.” I laughed. “This is getting crazier by the second.” I put the glass back down on the table and put my face in my hands and groaned. “And the crazier you get is the crazier I’m going to get.”

“What’s going on, girls?” TJ drawled as he approached the table with Cody close behind him. TJ held a pitcher of beer in his hands and Cody held two mugs.

“Not much,” I squeaked out as my eyes flew open and my face grew red. I tried to think about how loud my voice had been, but I was pretty sure that TJ and Cody hadn’t overheard our conversation.

“What do you guys want to do next?” Cody asked, chugging down his beer. “I know this cool place on 8th Street—they have a mechanical bull.”

“A mechanical bull?” Mila peered at him as she spoke. “Are we expected to get on the bull?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “But we can always go and watch.”

“Cody.” Mila sighed and rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t sound like fun.”

“It’s plenty fun.” He laughed and licked his lips. “What I wouldn’t do to be that bull.”

“Cody.” Mila shook her head and looked at me with a rueful smile. “Guys!”

“Yeah.” I tried to laugh nonchalantly, like I thought it was funny that Cody wanted to go and ogle some random girls. “You’re a pig, Cody.” I looked at him and he laughed, his eyes wide and happy as he stared at me.

“What can I say?” He grinned and winked at me. My insides fluttered at his smile and I wanted to smack myself. Why did he have such an effect on me? Just one smile and my insides were turned to jelly. How I wanted to turn off the switch inside of me that responded to his every glance and smile. Where was the off switch when I needed it?

“You can say what you want, but that won’t change what we already think and know,” I shot back at him and winked.

“You think you know, but you don’t really know,” Cody said with a twist of his lips, his hazel eyes bright with mirth as he chugged down his beer.

“Oh, I know.” I laughed, surprised at how carefree I felt. “Trust me, I know.”

“We all know,” Mila added and punched her brother in the shoulder.

“What are they even talking about?” Cody asked TJ, who just shook his head.

“I have no clue.” He sipped on his beer and laughed. “But then, I never really have a clue.”

“So we’re going to go to ride some bulls?” Cody asked eagerly and we all just looked at each other and burst out laughing. I looked over at Mila, who was studying my face, and I gave her a small nod. I was down to try her plan. I loved Cody. I wanted to get to know Cody better. And if this was the way to get into his life on a deeper level, I was going to take my chance. I was going to go big and if it didn’t work out, I’d just go home.