Say You Love Me(2)

"It's so beautiful," I'd said softly. "How amazing would it feel to fall asleep in the water and let it carry you away gently?"

"Pretty amazing, I suppose," Cody said quietly, nodding as we stood there.

"The only issue I see," I continued, "is if you floated off into the middle of the lake, though I suppose that would be scarier if it were an ocean. Then you'd float off into the middle of nowhere."

"That would be pretty scary." He nodded. "Though I suppose we could be like the otters."

"Be like the otters?" I asked curiously, turning to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"You don't know about the otters?" He turned to look down at me and his eyes were sparkling in delight as he stared at me.

"No, tell me," I said, gazing back at him, wanting his eyes to never leave mine.

"When otters fall asleep in the water, they make sure to hold hands so that they don't drift apart. So even if the water carries them downstream they're still together."

"Oh wow," I said simply, my heart melting at how sweet that sounded.

"So we could be like them," he said with a small smile. "We can go and fall asleep in the lake and let the water take us where it may, but we'll have to hold hands to make sure that we don't drift apart."

"That sounds like a good idea to me." I grinned up at him, my heart overflowing with love. "That sounds like a really good idea."



* * *



You ever have that moment where you see a guy and your whole body freezes still and then turns hot? Your heart starts beating fast and your stomach flips over and over and over and all you can think is Oh hot damn, that man is smoking and I want him right now. I want him to look at me, smile at me, run up to me, grab me, pull me into his arms, kiss me hard, and then run his finger down my cheek and tell me that I’m the woman he’s been waiting for his whole life. You ever experience that? Some people call it love at first sight. Others call it lust at first sight. Others still call it a chemical imbalance. I call it what I feel for Cody Brookstone every time I see him. He’s that one guy that I can’t get out of my blood. That guy that I’ve fancied for more years than I like to think of. He’s the smile I see when I think of dying or getting married. Either one. Not that I think of dying often. Or getting married. Though sometimes I can be slightly morbid. Sometimes I think to myself, would Cody care if I died? Would he love me then? Would he want me then? Yeah, I’m a sad case. I think about Cody every single day, without fail. Even when I’m trying not to think about him. Some people would call me obsessed. They’d say I’m like the girl from Fatal Attraction. Only, perhaps I’m worse. I have never dated Cody. I have never kissed him. I have never slept with him. I have never even held hands with him. Cody Brookstone doesn’t even know I exist. Well, as a woman. He knows I exist as a human being. I’m best friends with his sister, Mila. And no, that hasn’t gotten me any brownie points. If anything, it’s made me even more hands-off. To be fair, I don’t know if Cody would have wanted me even if I weren’t friends with Mila. He’s the kind of guy who likes to have fun. I can’t think of any girl that he’s dated seriously or for a super long time. Which used to make me happy. But now it makes me wonder why. It’s not like his parents had this crazy shady marriage or that’s he’s been super terribly hurt by an ex. From what I know, he’s never had his heart broken. Or even been in love. Which makes me both happy and sad. I’m a terrible romantic, so it makes me think Ooh well maybe I’m his true love, his one and only. It makes my heart beat rapidly when I think of him telling me that he loves me. Oh my God, could you even imagine how that would feel? Having him tell me he loves me, that I’m the only woman he’s ever loved? It would be like something out of a movie. Something that we’d tell our kids and grandkids. Something I would dream about in my grave (I told you I was morbid). I know, I know. I’m unrealistic and a dreamer. And probably too old for these sorts of pipe dreams.

I don’t know how some women seem to have it so easy. They blink and they get the guy they want. I blink and I smudge my mascara and eyeliner and end up looking like a skunk or raccoon. Let alone getting the guy to notice me. Unless of course, he notices the eyes and wonders if I’m okay because I look like I’ve been crying or beaten. That’s my luck. Not that that matters now. Because here I am, standing on Cody’s doorstep, waiting for him to answer the door and let me in to his apartment. This is going to be my moment. I’m going to make my move. I’m going to make Cody Brookstone fall in love with me. Or at least take me into his bed. I deserve that at least, right? Hot sex is better than nothing. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

I took a deep breath before I knocked on the front door. My heart was in my mouth. I, for some reason only known to God, was hoping that today was going to be the day that my luck changed and the day that Cody suddenly looked at me and told me that he loved me. I knew it wasn’t realistic. I knew that life didn’t go like that. And I knew that I was only looking for more heartache. He wasn’t going to just fall in love with me like that. This wasn’t the movies. I’d known him for so long and he’d never fallen for me. Not even when I looked super hot in short skirts and tight dresses. Not even the time I ‘accidentally’ walked into his bedroom in only my underwear. Not even the time we’d gone to the hot tub and I’d worn my tightest, skimpiest bikini. I hadn’t even seen him giving me a look of appreciation. It was sad. I was a sad case. I wasn’t sure how I’d let it get to this point. I felt like I was wasting my life away waiting for him to fall in love with me. But I just couldn’t stop. I was hoping for the fairy tale, but I wasn’t sure that the fairy tale would ever happen for me. Ever.