Say You Love Me(33)

“Not really sure,” I lied, not wanting to tell Cody that I had a date. I was already a nervous wreck and part of me felt like telling Cody about the date would be like slamming the door on our non-existent relationship. And that would mean that I would be giving up all hope. And while I knew I was a fool for having hope in the first place, it was a hard thing to give up. I just really wanted to believe that maybe someday it could happen. Even though I knew I was moving on from him, it was still hard to shut the door completely. I wanted to cry as I sat there, hating myself for being so flimsy and weak. I’d just told myself I was going to move on from him, yet I still wasn’t able to completely make the change.

“I’m going to go check out a band in the fashion district if you want to come,” he said casually as he sipped some water.

“Oh? Who?” My heart thudded excitedly. Was he asking me out? I felt myself about to say yes when I realized that in order to accept his very casual invitation, I’d have to ditch my date with Luke. And while I didn’t have the same feeling for Luke, he seemed like a really genuine guy who could really like and be into me and, well, that meant a whole lot more than what Cody was offering. He barely knew what I did for a living. And he never really showed any huge interest in me aside from casual hanging out.

“I can’t remember the name.” He shrugged. “But it’s free and I think it’s sponsored by some brewery, so lots of cheap and free beer.”

“Oh, I see. Who else is going?”

“I’m not sure. Some of my buddies and then some girls we met at the bar last week.”

“Oh?” My stomach dropped and I was glad that I hadn’t dropped my plans and said I was going to go. I didn’t want to be around him and more girls that were all over him talking about their plans for the night.

“So, yeah, feel free to come.” He shrugged and then stretched his arms. “Mila, where is this food?” he shouted aloud. “Are you trying to make me starve tonight?”

“Cody, shut-it,” she shouted back at him, and I laughed. “It will be ready soon.”

“So, I don’t think I can make it tonight,” I said softly and gazed at him, everything in me wanting him to look sad and beg me to come. Even though I knew he wouldn’t.

“Okay.” He nodded and gave me a smile, no sadness in his eyes or face. As if it meant nothing to him. Which it likely didn’t. Because I meant nothing to him.

“I have a date,” I said, hoping that maybe that would strike something in him, maybe some sort of jealousy. I knew it was a long shot. I knew I was playing with fire, but I wanted to affect him. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to feel one iota of the jealousy and confusion that I was feeling. How could he not feel it?

“Cool, good for you. Anyone I know?” He tilted his head, his eyes narrowing slightly, the smile still on his face.

“You don’t know him. His name is Luke,” I continued, my heart feeling like it was breaking. How could I be so upset about going on a date with someone? I knew that I wasn’t upset about the date, but more so that Cody wasn’t reacting in the way that I wanted him to. Why was he smiling like it was a good thing? Why didn’t he look pissed or upset? Didn’t he care at all?

“Luke Skywalker?” he said with a laugh, and I shook my head.

“No. Not Luke Skywalker.”

“So, how did you guys meet?” he asked me again. This time his voice was tight and his eyes were a little colder. I gazed back at him and for a second part of me wanted to ask him if he really cared or if he was just asking to ask.

“I actually met him through a girl at work.” I smiled, not knowing why I was lying. Maybe I felt like I was a loser admitting I’d met him online. “He came to a happy hour with her boyfriend and we kinda hit it off.”

“Wow, look at you. Just reeling them in.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s me. I get all the guys—hook, line and sinker.”

“Well, that’s why you pretty girls always have it easier than us men.”

“Ha, yeah, okay.” I laughed, though I was on cloud nine that he’d called me pretty. Why was I so pitiful?

“So what does he do?”

“I can’t really remember. I guess I will find out tonight.” I laughed. “I was a little tipsy when we met, but he seems like a really nice guy. Really friendly, really funny, really sweet.” I knew I was laying it on thick, but I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Friendly, funny and sweet?” Cody’s facial expression was almost stoic now. “Is that all you girls look for now?”

“Well, you know.” I laughed, feeling suddenly better that he wasn’t looking so happy. “He’s super-hot as well.”

“Because super-hot means a lot, right?” he said with a sneer.

“Oh, yeah, it means everything to me.” I rolled my eyes. “All my boyfriends need to be super-hot.”

“So he’s your boyfriend now?”

“I hardly think so.” I rolled my eyes at him. “This is technically our first date. We’ve only met once before this.”

“So maybe after tonight he’ll be your boyfriend? Or do you need multiple dates for that to happen?”

“For what to happen? What are you going on about, Cody?” I asked him in confusion. “You’re not really making much sense.”