Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5)(36)

She smiled, eagerness lighting her emerald eyes once more. “What do you have in mind?”

“I’m going to ask you to stand, and I’m going to be behind you.” No fear. Perhaps if he ratcheted it up a notch. “I’ll want to bind your arms, mostly as a safety precaution in case my guess is wrong about your D/s orientation. Will that be all right with you?”

Damn, did her pupils just dilate? “Absolutely. I’d love to feel what it’s like to be tied up.”

“Do you mind if I pull your hair?”

“Pull my hair?” The huskiness in her voice told him she was excited by the idea—or was it fear? “Um,” her tongue flicked across her lower lip, “it sounds really sexy.”

No, definitely arousal. “This isn’t about sex. It’s about that exchange of power you keep talking about wanting to explore.” He waited a moment, but when she didn’t respond, he prompted her. “So, yes or no? Would having your hair pulled bother you?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t had my hair pulled since Patrick tormented me as a kid.”

“I’m not going to pull your hair like your brother did. It’s simply a means of exerting control over your body.”

“Through my hair?”

Jesus, what was he getting into here? She had no clue. Whatever made him want to introduce her to kink in the first place?

“Let’s forget all this. I don’t think you’re ready to find out whether you’re Dominant or submissive. The chances of you needing to know are—”

She placed her hand on his. “But I trust you more than I would any other man.” She scooted her chair back and stood. “Let’s do this. I’m curious now. I want to know.” She moved away from the table and turned her back to him. “Do I need to put my hair in a ponytail or something?”

Her long, gorgeous curls covered the top half of her back. He got hard just thinking about winding the long strands around his hand. God forgive him for what he was about to do. He’d do his penance tonight while lying alone in bed thinking about her and what might have been if he wasn’t so f*cked up.

With a sigh, Ryder stood. “No need. Just stand there as you are. Relax a little, though. Do you trust that I won’t do anything to harm you?”

She nodded. Hell, she hardly knew him. How could she trust him like that? He didn’t trust her that much.

“I need to go get something in the bedroom. I want you to stand here and think about what you’ve asked me to do. Make sure it’s what you want.”

“Oh, I’m—”

“I said: Think about it. I’ll ask again before we proceed tonight.”

Ryder walked down the hall to his bedroom and then into the closet. He pushed the hanging clothes aside until he reached the back corner where he bent down to pick up his toy bag. He’d bought some new things after returning from Fallujah, hoping to resume his relationship with Sherry, but had never gotten the chance to play with them. She’d wanted nothing to do with him by that point.

He lifted the bag and carried it to the bed where he unzipped it. Ah, there’s what he needed. He pulled out the forty-foot bundle of solid-braid nylon rope and returned to the dining room where he found Megan standing with her hands at her sides and her shoulders squared as if for battle.

Was she or wasn’t she? Her body sent mixed signals. One way to find out.

As he drew near, her body relaxed visibly, rather than growing any stiffer. Perhaps her stance had been one of fear or uncertainty. She really did trust him, for whatever reason. He hoped she’d never put that trust so quickly into the hands of someone who didn’t deserve the gift.

He hooked the rope over the back of the chair she had vacated minutes earlier. Drawing closer to where she stood, he placed his hands on her shoulders. She leaned a little closer to him. Wanting to ease her strained muscles before he began, he moved his hands up the sides of her neck, massaging as he went. She relaxed some. When he reached her hair, he splayed his fingers open and slid up both sides of her head as he began massaging her scalp. The spicy scent of her shampoo or perfume assailed his nostrils.

“Mmmm. Feels so good.”

“Shhh. Don’t say anything. If you need me to stop, though, just say Scarlet. That will be your safeword. We can’t use red because you might confuse it if I spoke it since I use it as a nickname.”

“You get to use the safeword, too?”

“Yes, Baby. It’s for anyone in the scene who needs to put a stop to things.”

“Oh, well, I don’t want you to stop. But I should point out that just because I like to have my scalp massaged doesn’t mean I’m a submissive.”

“True. Now, try to behave and remain silent unless I ask a direct question. Focus on your breathing. In. And out. Slowly. I want you to get in tune with your body. Listen to it for guidance.”

While he hoped she was taking time to prepare herself, he turned, retrieved the bundle of rope, and loosened it, looking for the ends. Standing behind her once more, he divided her hair down the middle and placed half over each shoulder.

“I’m going to bind your arms now. It’s purely a safety measure. I don’t want you to be hurt. Are you ready?”

“Y-yes.”

“Good. Place your hands behind you with the backs of your hands resting on your butt and palms facing outward.” She complied, but fisted her hands. “Relax your fingers and stretch them toward the floor. Keep your body—especially your arms, hands, and fingers—relaxed so I can manipulate them as needed. You simply concentrate on your breathing. In. And out.”