Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5)(34)
She wondered if perhaps he was interested in certain forms of kink. From what she’d read in novels anyway, kink didn’t have to involve sex.
She wished she had an internet connection out here to see if what she read about in romance novels and on erotica story sites had any basis in reality, but her cell phone barely worked out here. Ryder didn’t have a smartphone she could use to surf the web to learn more.
Well, maybe she could learn by asking Ryder questions. Would he be interested in some non-sexual fun and games like the ones she’d read about on a certain erotica Web site. Not that she’d needed that site for sexual stimulation since meeting Ryder Wilson.
She intended to make sure the discussions at dinner tonight were very…stimulating.
Chapter Eleven
Ryder marveled at how Megan fit in out here. He’d thought her a pampered city girl, but nothing seemed to faze her. Sure, she probably wouldn’t buddy up to a rattler anytime soon, but watching her in silent communication with the coyote had impressed the hell out of him. Most city girls would have screamed and run, possibly encouraging a chase by the coyote. Not Megan.
Now, if only he could get her to stop trying to get into his bed. That wasn’t going to happen.
He carried two plates of chicken stir-fry to the table, and she followed with her glass of white wine and his bottle of beer. He missed having a beer with his dinner but apparently her brother preferred wine and harder liquor.
At least the earlier awkward moment seemed to have been diffused. She’d probably only come on to him earlier to divert his attention from his meltdown. Nothing about his post-traumatic stress issues seemed daunting to her, either.
How anyone could be attracted to a man who broke down like that stumped him, though. Definitely had to have been feeling sorry for him.
They ate in silence at first, making him wonder if maybe the scene in the kitchen earlier would cause trouble in their friendship. But Megan managed to get the conversation going again.
“Why did your parents name you Ryder?”
He swallowed a mouthful of food. “You really want to know?”
“Sure!”
“Well, seems they were moving from Idaho to New Mexico when Marcia was about fifteen months old and—”
“No way!” She set her fork down. “You’re named for a Ryder rental truck?”
He shrugged and grinned. “Sure enough. Guess it’s a good thing they didn’t rent a U-Haul.”
She cupped her chin in her hand. “I have to hear the rest of this story.”
“I’m told I was conceived in the back.”
“I thought having another baby would keep your father around, but he planned to leave as soon as we returned the Ryder truck.”
He tamped down the memory and tried to make light of the story for Megan. “They left Marcia with Mom’s mom during the move. Because they couldn’t afford a motel, they slept in the back.”
“That’s too funny!”
Ryder resumed eating although his appetite was pretty much gone. He enjoyed being with Megan, though, talking about all kinds of things or just watching her take photos. Watching her excitement when she discovered new things brought him a lot of joy, too.
“Ryder, have you ever tried kink?”
The mouthful of veggies he swallowed at that moment caught in his throat, and he grabbed his beer to wash it down. When he could speak again, he asked, “What did you say?” How long had he tuned out for the conversation to shift so dramatically?
“Kink. You know, bondage, spanking, things like that. Not necessarily as foreplay to sex, but it can be used as a way to regain control.”
He set his fork down. “What the hell do you know about kink?”
“Well, I’ve read some books.”
“Like the one all over the news lately?”
She raised her chin in defiance. “Among others.”
God save the world from people with enough general knowledge to get them in over their heads. “Listen, there’s a lot of misinformation dispensed in those novels.”
“But some are well-researched and written by people who live the lifestyle or consult with those who do. Don’t worry. I know the difference between what’s realistic and what’s fantasy, Ryder.”
“Do you? Tell me what you’ve learned.”
“That a healthy BDSM or kink relationship involves building a deep trust in each other, open and honest communication, using safewords, negotiating and sharing your hard and soft limits, and always involves activities mutually consented upon between adults.”
Time to see if she truly knew fantasy from reality. “Should I get out a pen and paper and draw up a lengthy contract for us to begin then?”
Her frown indicated confusion. “Of course not. I know a written contract in a kink relationship isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. That’s where trust comes in. You need to trust that your play partner won’t cry abuse later. It’s risky to play with the wrong person because of the societal taboo. There can be serious consequences suffered. That’s where verbal negotiations and lots of communication come in.” She paused for a breath and smiled. “But a checklist might come in handy. I could list my limits and likes, and you yours.”
“I’m impressed you’ve done your homework. But we aren’t drawing up a list either.”