Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5)(33)

“We don’t have a bed.”

“We will as soon as you admit you want me, too, and drag me into yours.” She smiled. “Or if you’d prefer, we can go to my room.”

“Megan, you know I can’t deny I am attracted to you. But I’m not here to have sex with you. My mission is to protect you.”

“There’s nothing you need to protect me from any longer, least of all you. Unless you don’t have any condoms.” Let him think she was talking about protecting her from STDs.

“I haven’t had sex in a while. I doubt there are any condoms around here, but I always practiced safe sex.”

“Then we can go to the convenience store and pick up some after dinner.”

“I don’t have sex with innocent virgins, especially not one whose big brother is my former master sergeant.”

“Ryder, whatever happens stays between us. My brothers have nothing to do with it and don’t need a report either.”

“No, sex is out of the question. If you won’t see reason, someone here needs to be the adult.”

Now he was saying she was not only a virgin but acting childishly?

She spun away from him. “Excuse me. I’m going to take a walk.”

“Megan, you’re just going to get hurt if—”

Unable to speak, she waved him away and left the kitchen. How could she make him see her not as his master sergeant’s little sister, but as a woman who cared a lot for him and wanted something with him she’d never wanted with any man before? Certainly not marriage. She wouldn’t trap any man in that kind of arrangement unless he was fully aware of what she couldn’t give him. Friends with benefits maybe.

Not that they’d done anything more than kiss. Maybe benefits would be wishful thinking on her part.

Outside, she looked left and right and decided it would be best to stick to the beaten path. Critters tended to come out this time of the evening, and she didn’t want to have any unwelcome encounters. The only encounter she did want was with Ryder, but he refused her.

Megan’s face grew warm as she pictured how it must have looked to him with her throwing herself at him. She’d never behaved like that with a man. Why this one? Hormones. She had to blame her screwed up hormones for this.

Obviously having sex with her was the furthest thing from what Ryder wanted. She’d embarrassed the hell out of herself. How was she going to go back in and face him over dinner? God, she hadn’t even stayed to help him finish cooking.

Maybe he was right. She was behaving childishly. Spoiled, even, although he hadn’t accused her of that. She turned around and started up the road again. A movement to her right caught her eye, and she turned to see a large coyote staring at her. Her heart jumped into her throat a moment before she realized the animal probably feared her more than she needed to fear it. If only she had her camera. She’d never been so close to one before.

Megan stood still, not wanting to spook the animal. Its cinnamon-brown eyes seemed a mirror to its soul. She wished she could communicate with it in some way.

“Don’t be afraid, Red. I’m here.”

She glanced up the driveway toward the house and found Ryder standing there, knife in hand.

“Don’t you dare touch that animal!” she whispered with great emphasis, but not loud enough to spook the coyote.

“I won’t, unless he attacks you. He’s been coming around here for months so maybe he’s lost his fear of humans. Still, he’s a wild animal and unpredictable.”

Her gaze returned to the animal. “Should we leave some food out for him?”

“No. It would weaken his ability to survive. I won’t be here forever. Not to mention the fact that food would attract other animals we may not want hanging around the house. There is a delicate balance with nature out here and it’s best not to upset that.”

“Makes sense.”

“Turn around and walk toward me slowly. Don’t make eye contact with the coyote. Just look at me.”

She realized staring at the animal probably made him feel challenged, although he didn’t seem to want to attack her when she did so. Megan took one step, then another, never quite meeting Ryder’s or the coyote’s gaze. The animal remained still. Watching. Silent.

When she reached Ryder’s side, he wrapped an arm around her. The coyote turned and trotted up the hillside.

“You weren’t afraid, were you?”

“No. More than a little annoyed that I didn’t have my camera with me.”

Ryder chuckled.

“I’m sure you’ll have other opportunities if you stay out here any time at all.”

“You don’t want to send me packing after that scene in the kitchen?”

He grinned. “Do you know how good it sounds for a beautiful young woman to tell a screwed-up, old Marine like me she’s turned on by him?”

They began walking toward the house. “Well, it’s the truth. I’m not sure I can turn off those feelings. Things might get a little awkward if we spend much more time together.”

“Don’t you worry. I can make sure things don’t get out of control between us.”

Oh, is that so?

What if she turned the tables on him and showed him she could exert a little control herself? Maybe Ryder needed to surrender some of the tight control he had on himself to someone else? She’d read about relationships where men and women who were always in control sometimes liked allowing someone else to call the shots, make the decisions.