Love At First Hate (Love At Firsts Book 2)(20)
“I couldn’t find a place to park.” I sit down between Olivia, Frank’s fiancée and my sister Madeline, the only member of my family I get along with.
“You should have planned ahead and left earlier. You know how bad the traffic is at this time. We went ahead and ordered for you,” Linda, my stepmother, says.
“Charming. What if I don’t want what you ordered?”
“Well, you should have been here on time,” she sneers at me. It’s going to be a long ass evening.
“Let’s not talk about the food but about what we’re here to celebrate,” Lindsey says raising her champagne glass, and my family joins her.
“To Lindsey and Nathan, to a happy engagement and a happier wedding.” Everybody raises their glasses besides Madeline and I. Madeline isn’t twenty-one yet, and I don’t do champagne nor do I want to celebrate this masquerade.
“Nathan, your drink,” Linda says through gritted teeth.
“I’m not going to toast to something I’m totally against but go ahead, don’t mind me.” I lean back in my chair and hold her gaze.
“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” Robert says not pleased with my attitude.
“She’s not my mother. I’m thirty-five, I’ll talk to her however I want to, and if you really expect me to follow through with your sick and twisted idea, then you’re really wrong. That’ll never happen,” I whisper loudly.
“You know what, I don’t know why I still bother trying to get you the finest things in life. I’ve done my best to give you a good life, to make sure you all were set up and didn’t have to worry about finding a significant other, set you up in a nice house, with a bright future. Why can’t you follow suit like Frank and Caroline did? Caroline is happily married and just moved into a beautiful home, and your brother is doing that in a couple of months. Why can’t you be like your brother and sister? Why can’t you just do what people ask you to do? You’ve been such a disappointment, Nathan. Since you were a little kid you’ve always been the shame of the family,” Robert says with venom in his voice.
“You want to know why I don’t want any of this? Because it doesn’t make me happy. I don’t love Lindsey; I never have, and I never will. Because you sent me to war, I’ve lost one of my legs. I still have f*cking nightmares almost every night with the horrors I saw out there. I don’t want you to rule my life. I’m thirty-five, and it’s time I take back my control of it. I don’t give a single f*ck if you approve of my choices or not. Hell, I think I have feelings for someone and guess what? He’s a man. If you can’t approve of that then honestly, I won’t lose any sleep over it.” I push away from the table and get up.
“You sit your ass back down and finish this dinner with us. You’re going to come with us to the Bahamas and get married to Lindsey on the same day as your brother and his fiancée, and you’re going to shut up about it. You have no say in the matter,” Robert says pointing his finger at me.
“Tough luck. I’m done with this family. You can all go to hell, besides you Maddie. Lindsey, it’s over. I’ll get a box with the random shit you’ve left at my place and have it sent to you. Don’t bother trying to contact me again because I won’t answer.” I blow out a breath and turn to leave.
My eyes catch Matt’s, and all I need to know is right there. He looks at me the way I have always wanted someone to look at me. With love and care. I know it’s almost impossible that what I’m seeing is what’s really happening, but in my current state, I’ll take it. I rush out of the restaurant and get back into my car. I need to put as much distance between myself and my family as I can. I can’t stand them anymore, nor do I want to spend any time with them.
I start my car and drive away as fast as I can. I doubt any of them would follow me, but I don’t want to risk the chance.
My worst-case scenario turned out to be true, and I feel like I jinxed myself thinking of it. If you listened to what was said tonight without knowing my family, you’d just have a father trying to make sure his kids will be set up and happy in case something was to happen to him, but that’s not how Robert Collins works. He’ll only do things that have an interest for him and can bring him more money or something that will be useful. I’m not sure what his scheme is to set us all up, but there’s something that goes deeper than just him acting like a caring father.
The low purring of my Impala resonates in my head, erasing temporarily what happened tonight.
The various signs at the end of each street and intersection lead the way for me as I drive aimlessly. I don’t want to think or feel. I just want to forget everything that happened today. Everything that happened for the past thirty years when my nightmare started, when my mother passed away.
An hour later, I find myself at the cemetery where my mother is buried. I didn’t expect to come here, but it feels appropriate. In moments like this, I’d go to my mom and ask her for advice. I know she’s not able to talk to me or even hear me, but letting it all out as if she were there has been the one thing that has kept me somewhat sane.
I park the car and get out of it. I lock it and make my way through the cemetery gates.
Robert never cared about her. When she fell pregnant with me, he was mad from what I’ve heard. Apparently, he never wanted kids, so why have three more after? It makes no sense. That’s the first thing that messed me up, knowing I was never wanted.