Love At First Hate (Love At Firsts Book 2)(17)

“Glad you think so.” He hands me two pieces of paper, and I put them side by side on the table he uses to tattoo people and it looks amazing. He’s been working on the Japanese themed tattoo I booked with him.

“This looks amazing.” I take in the different flowers, the koi fish, the geisha he has set up to match the rest of my leg and connect it to the dragon wrapping around my calf.

“It’ll need some tweaking when I get it on your leg, but I figured I’d get a head start and see what you wanted so you don’t end up hating me and slate my work in your magazine.” He stands next to me, our shoulders touching.

“I told you to go for what you think would fit with the rest of my leg. Even though you’re an ass, I trust your tattooing skills. And unless you do a shit job with the actual tattoo, I won’t slate you. I’m not like that.” I look at him, and he nods. If I listened to myself, I’d grab his face and kiss the shit out of him, but considering he probably has never done anything with a man, I don’t want to traumatize him.

“I know you’re not.” He looks between my eyes and my lips as if he’s actually debating the same thing as me. Sadly, he sighs and takes a step back.

“You alright?” I sit on the table, and he resumes his position on his stool.

“No.” I can tell it’s hard for him to confess that he’s not okay.

“What’s wrong?”

“Besides this, everything in my life is turning to shit.” He waves his hand around, looking defeated.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not necessarily. I don’t want to bother you with my problems.”

“I offered, and I was kinda dragged into it unwillingly last night when bitchzilla wrecked your place. How bad is it by the way?”

“True, sorry about that. Couple of things broken, it was more for show and because she can’t get what she wants.” He shrugs.

“Don’t mention it. What is it that she wants that you won’t give her?” I raise my eyebrow holding back a witty comment.

“Marriage, babies, the perfect life she thinks she’d get.”

“How come you don’t want that?” I ask genuinely curious.

“I never wanted to get married or have kids. I’ve had the snip for years now and uh…”

“Yeah?” I chuckle lightly seeing his discomfort. “I’m not judging you, I could have just for being with Lindsey for so long if you feel nothing for her.”

“Fair enough. I’ve been confused about my sexuality for twenty years. I’ve never acted on it, but it put me in a lot of trouble so I’ve just been repressing it.” He shrugs sounding as if he’s just accepted his fate of never giving in and trying it out to see if he would like it better with a man.

“I still don’t get how parents can make their kids feel so awkward about their sexual choices that they have to repress their feelings and go against who they are, not being able to give into their true selves and miss being happy.” I feel bad for him that he hasn’t had the freedom to do that.

“I know. I’ve learned to accept it.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“I know, it’s just the way it is.” He rubs his face and hangs his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees.

“How long have you been with Lindsey?”

“A year or so.”

“Ever been happy with her?”

“No.”

“Any feelings for her?”

“No.” He looks up at me.

“Why are you with her then?”

“She gives great head?” he asks, and we both chuckle.

“Could be a good point, but she’s way too annoying to put up with just for the great head. Why aren’t you breaking up with her?”

“It’s not as easy as it seems.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a long story.” I can tell he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“I’ll let you off this time, but I’ll get it out of you one day, Nate. And that day I’ll f*ck that awesome little ass of yours.” He chuckles and gets up to get his station ready, probably to keep himself busy because I’m making him uncomfortable.

“Promises.”

“Don’t tempt me to just bend you over this table and f*ck you, as your boss is in the room next door,” I whisper.

“What are you doing to me?” He groans in his hands and rubs his face.

“Hopefully making you realize that there is more to happiness than just pleasing others so that they don’t make your life harder. You deserve to be happy, Nate. You know where I live if you want to have a beer or some food.”

“I thought you were more into wine than beer.”

“I can appreciate a cold one from time to time.” I wink at him and get my bag before leaving the shop.

This morning has been a lot more interesting than I thought it would be. I finally cracked through some of Nate’s thick wall he’s built around himself for years. It might not seem like much, but he confessed to me things I’m sure he hasn’t told anybody else, which makes me feel a little bit special. I hope he’ll come forward and actually talk to me if he needs it. For this brief moment we were talking, all the hate we’ve had for each other is gone, and it feels refreshing. Who knows what the future will bring after this more than interesting encounter with my rude and loud neighbor.