Losing Me, Finding You(51)

We don't even talk. I just roll on top of Amy and slide inside of her. She is friggin' drenched, and it takes me a lot less time than it should to come again, spilling my seed inside her heat. I cannot even begin to say how damn good that feels, grinding against Amy's bare body and coming away wet with her. Somehow, I'm now hyper aware of her, too, like she belongs to me and she's on my radar now. I can't say how or why it's happenin', but it started on the back of that damn motorcycle, and it doesn't seem to be letting up. If anything, it's gettin' worse by the minute. Shit. Guess I forgot how nice it was to bang bareback. Damn you, Amy Cross, but I may never use another rubber for as long as I live.

After we finish, I roll off and hold Amy in my arms, listening to her breathing as it slows and she finally falls asleep. Fuck if I'll be able to drift off now that I'm feeling like this. There's some primal instinct bullshit goin' on that's making me antsy. As soon as I finished inside of her on the back of that bike, I felt like she was mine, completely and wholly.

I both love and hate that shit.

Unable to sit still, I force my tired ass out of bed and throw on some clothes, stepping out the door quiet as I can and stomping down the hall to Mireya's room. Somehow, she knows I'm there before I even get the chance to knock.

“I've been expecting you,” she coos as she steps away and ushers me in, wearing nothing but a lacy corset and some panties. The whole damn room smells like sex, and there's even a man's shirt lying across the back of one of the chairs. I freeze as soon as I hear the shower switch on.

“What the f*ck are you doing?” I ask her, but she doesn't respond, instead skipping over to the bed and smoothing out the blankets, patting the orange comforter like she wants me to sit down. Mireya's eyes flicker up to mine and sparkle, like she can tell I'm pissed off and likes it. Unfortunately, it's not what she thinks. I'm not ticked off because she slept with someone; I'm ticked off because she slept with Gaine. He's the only * I know who wears a shirt with such a stupid ass saying. Current Mood: Possessed. That's his alright.

“What? You get to cart around your very own piece of ass, and I can't even indulge in what's already here?” I roll my eyes to the ceiling and take a big ass breath, pulling in the scent of Mireya's perfume. This time, though, even the sight and smell of her doesn't excite me. My mind just keeps spinning on this continuous loop, going back to Amy again and again and again. Maybe I should borrow that damn shirt because it sure as shit feels like the girl's possessed me. What worries me is that I don't even know her yet. What happens when I do? Am I going to lose my damn mind?

“Cut the crap, Sawyer. I meant, what the f*ck are you doing to Gaine?” She shrugs and leans back, crossing her long, bronze legs at the ankle. A sultry smile tickles her full lips.

“It's just a f*ck, Austin. Get over yourself. Isn't that what Amy is to you?” I ignore the question and pray that I can get myself out of there before Gaine comes out and sees me. Plus, I don't have any real desire to see the * naked. Might scar me for life.

“If you're trying to punish me, Mireya, it isn't working.” She narrows her eyes and pouts out her lips.

“Punish you? God, Austin, get over yourself. This isn't about you.”

“Amy then?” I ask, raising my chin. “Is this about Amy? What did she do to make you hate her so much?” Mireya shakes her head and scoffs.

“Amy? Who the hell cares about f*cking Amy!” She screams this last part, and I can tell that there's at least one person that does – and that's her. She really, really does.

“So you did it, didn't you?” I don't even know why I'm asking. It's pretty obvious from where I stand that Mireya sent the video to Amy's family. Why she did it, I can't even guess.

Mireya stands back up and tosses her crow-black hair over one ear.

“Did what?”

“The video, Sawyer.” I slap the back of my right hand against the palm of my left. “The one that got Amy kicked out of her house, the one that practically forced me to take her in.” As soon as I say those words, I know they aren't really true. I mean, I guess if you looked at it from the outside, it might seem that way, but I don't feel forced with Amy, not even a little bit. I think I like her. A lot. “Did. You. Send. It?”

Mireya moves across the carpet like a panther, sleek and dangerous and powerful. She's a strong, beautiful woman with a lot to offer, but I'm not in love with her. I love her the same way I do Beck and Gaine and Kimmi – as a friend. Maybe she just isn't getting that? I always thought she did, but then, I guess I never stopped to notice that glint in her eye when she looks at me, the way she smiles, the way she softens her brow when I touch her. Fuck.

When she stops next to me and slides her hands up my chest, I can see the regret in her eyes. I guess it's probably got more to do with the fact that Amy is here rather than at any guilt she might have for sending the damn thing, but at least it's there. It proves to me that she's a good person inside, just like I always thought she was.

“Austin, I sent it.” Mireya pauses and nibbles her lip. We both jump a little when the sound of the shower stops. “I sent it because I … I didn't want to lose you.” Shit. I try to take a step back, but Mireya's got her fingers wrapped in the fabric of my shirt.