Losing Me, Finding You(47)

Austin looks down at me and shakes his head.

“I ain't got there yet, Beck. Been a little busy if you haven't noticed.”

“What?” I ask, looking between the three men. I feel comfortable suddenly, like this is a group that's been around for awhile. They're all longtime friends, that much is obvious. I decide that if I stay here, even if things with Austin don't work out, that this is a group I'd like to be a part of. “What deal?”

“Well, beautiful,” Austin begins, reaching out and grabbing two beers from the table. He pops the top on one and offers it to me. I take it gratefully, sniffing the alcohol briefly before taking a sip. It's my first time drinking beer which is pretty pathetic, and I'm not surprised to find that the taste is hardly palatable. I take another swig. Austin watches me and the smile on his face grows wider. “We Triple M'ers stick together hardcore. That means no breaks. We go year-round together, traveling constantly. If you want to settle down somewhere, join another group. This is a lifestyle, baby.” I nod my head. I had already assumed that much. In fact, I was betting on it. “Everything you need is provided for you: food, clothes, lodging, bikes.” I manage to keep my mouth from dropping, but I'm sure they can all see the surprise registering on my face.

“But how?” I ask, knitting my brows together. “Who pays for it all?”

“That's the sour part of the deal,” Gaine says, speaking up suddenly. All eyes turn to him. “Most of the time, we remain in blissful ignorance, eating the fruits of other people's labor. But one day, we all have to pay our dues. One day, to keep up this utopia that we've got going on, we have to sell our soul to the devil.”




Chapter 35
Shit if I don't know what to say to Amy after Gaine's weird outburst. I end up walking her out the back doors of the hotel and finding the pool. I try to tell her all the great things about the club, about the way we take care of each other, but when she asks me questions I've got to deflect, I don't rightly know what to do and end up just kissing her. There's a lot of club business that I can't discuss. I've never sponsored a prospect, so I have no idea how to handle this. 'Specially not when I'm interested in f*cking 'em.

“Austin,” Amy says, trying to put some space between us. I don't blame her. Whenever she touches me, I feel like I'm fighting a friggin' tsunami of sex and need. It's like my whole damn body is on fire and she's the only one that can put it out. “What happens now?”

“Hmm?” I ask, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear and trying not to think too hard about the blow job she gave me. If I'm honest with myself, it was the best I'd ever had. Hah. A f*cking virgin and she sucks cock like a pro. How about that? “What do you mean?”

“I mean, now that we're in a new town, what do we do?”

“Well,” I say, putting my hands on her hips. I've never been this touchy-feely with a girl before, but I like the way that Amy looks at me when I'm touching her. That's never happened to me either. I take my hands away suddenly and wipe some sweat from my forehead. Why's it gotta be so dang hot all the f*cking time? Christ. “First, I take a shower because I smell like something crawled up my shirt and died.” Amy chuckles and puts a hand to her mouth. “And then I show you how to ride. First step to being in a motorcycle club is learning how to actually drive one.”

“I suppose you're right,” she says, but I can see that she's still thinking too hard. I imagine that there's a lot going on inside that pretty head of hers, but she's got to learn to let it go, or she's never going to be able to enjoy herself out here. I know because I've been there.

“Hey,” I tell her, breaking her trance for a moment. She looks back up at my face. “About the video and your family, I'm sorry.” She tries to smile at me, but it doesn't come out right.

“That's alright,” she whispers, but I know it's not. Eventually, I'm going to have to confront Mireya about it. Eventually but not now. She's too hotheaded. If I talk to her about it today, she'll likely bite my friggin' dick off. “I wanted to come with you anyway, I just … ”

“Didn't want 'em to look at you like that?” Amy blinks in surprise. I smile at her. “Yeah, I know the feeling. I mean, my circumstances were different, but the results were the same. Granted, my folks had a bit more to be sore about.”

“What did you do?” she asks me, but I'm not ready to answer that question yet.

“Come upstairs with me, baby,” I say instead and this time, it's her turn to smile.

“Okay,” she whispers, letting me take her by the wrist, so I can lead her up to my … our hotel room. Guess I'm gonna have to get used to sharing my room. And my life. I realize that I can't leave Amy alone for long periods of time, not yet. She doesn't have a phone, no money, no friends. For now, I'm all she's got. I want to feel panicky, like this girl's trapped me somehow, but I don't. I don't feel anything but horny as hell. I wonder how long these feelings will last.

We're halfway to the room before I realize I don't have any condoms left.

“Fuck,” I snarl, startling an elderly couple down the hall.

“What?” Amy asks, sounding alarmed. Something in my voice must've made her think something was real, real wrong. Apparently, not being able to f*ck her sounds high up on my list of things to be worried about. You are such an *, Austin. Amy steps in close to me, so close that I can smell the sweet shampoo that she used on her hair.