Losing Me, Finding You(48)

“I'm out of condoms.” The couple down the hall is trying to unlock their door as fast as they can, casting nervous glances our way. I do my best to ignore them. Amy blinks a few times and looks away, nibbling her lip like she's got something to say but isn't sure how to phrase it.

“I … um. Hmm.” She pauses and looks up at me, her long eyelashes framing those big, round eyes. It's enough to make me want to throw her against the wall and do her right here, condom or no condom. “We could do something else, you know?” she suggests.

I grin.

“You mean like oral f*cking?” Amy snorts and turns away from me, giggling. When she turns back to me, her cheeks are rosy and full and her skin is flushed with color. Fucking gorgeous. Prettiest damn girl I ever did see.

“I mean like taking a walk or going out to eat or … ” She shrugs. “Going for a ride?”

I pause, feeling like a complete and utter *, like it's finally just occurred to me that Amy and I could do something other than have sex with each other, that she's more than just a prospect and a good lay. Frankly, I'm sort of ashamed at myself.

“Alright, baby. Let me change my clothes and I'll take you out, show you how to ride.” I pause and rub my chin for a moment. “But we're also going to stop by the store and pick up condoms.” She blushes a bit, but I can't hold back a grin. “And when we get back,” I step close and press my lips against her forehead. “I'm going to take my time inside of you. I want you to feel my steel against the walls of your *.”

“I'd like that,” she whispers back, surprising me. “But I'd like to try it without a condom.”



Chapter 36

I think I manage to actually shock Austin with my statement. Even more so maybe when I start to explain, gesturing wildly with my hands while I try to get the words out.

“I, um, I … ” I want to tell him that I've always had an irregular period and that my mama (behind my father's back of course) took me to the doctor and got me birth control pills to regulate it. I've taken them religiously ever since, so I'm well prepared, but I don't know how much of this information I should share with Austin Sparks. I mean, we've had sex, but we don't really know each other (which is also a very strange concept to grasp). “I'm on birth control pills,” I blurt, and I swear to God, the grin that splits his tanned face next looks like it's about to break it in half.

“No shit?” he asks as I swallow and clear my throat, preparing to ask my next question.

“But you … do you … do you normally … ” Do you normally use a condom? What about that girl last night? Did you use one with her? I know that merely asking the man isn't enough to guarantee my safety, but I'm all about taking risks right now (though I wouldn't recommend my course of action to anyone else). But this is my life and my choice and whether the decision is right or wrong, I'm going to make it and stand by it.

“Doll, if you're asking what I think you're asking then I haven't had bareback sex since I was a f*cking kid. Far as I know, I'm clean.” His head snaps up and he winks at someone down the hallway. When I turn and look, I see two terrified old people glaring at us. I flush and turn away.

“Yes, that's what I was trying to ask.” How sexy is this? I think. They never cover this part in romance novels. If they did, maybe I could actually find a sexier way to go about asking the damn question.

“I ain't ever been tested, but I'm not a f*cking whore like Beck.” Austin shrugs. “It's your call to make, beautiful, but I can tell you that I wouldn't do it if I thought I might hurt you.” I look up at him and study his strong cheekbones, his firm jaw, his full lips. He somehow manages to put even my idealized image of Glance Serone to shame.

“So you would do it?” I ask him, clearing my throat again. “You think it's okay?”

“Aw, baby,” he says, stepping in and wrapping me up in his arms. I like that. I like being hugged by this man, this stranger. When he pulls me up against his broad chest, my pulse pounds in my ears, and I can't hear anything else. I wonder if I'm falling in love already or if it's just lust. How quick can love happen? Every book is different, of course. In some, they fall in love at first sight, swooning into one another's arms like butterflies, flitting together like they were never apart. In others, they grow together through months, even years, before they actually admit to the big 'L' word. I haven't the slightest clue since this is my first time, but I decide not to worry about it. Maybe it's about time I stopped quoting Sali Bend, but I can't seem to help myself; the woman has a saying for everything. Love or lust – what's the big, damn deal? You're going to f*ck either way, right? “You're too damn cute. What the hell am I gonna do with you?”

“Teach me,” I say quietly, almost too quietly.

“Oh yeah. When I'm done with you, honey, you'll own that damn road.” I shake my head and try to figure out how to phrase this without coming across in the wrong way.

“Not just that,” I tell him. “I mean … everything. Teach me … everything.” Austin's brows shoot up to his hairline. Yes, I think defiantly. I am asking for sex lessons, so sue me.

“You won't find me arguing that one, Cross,” he says to me, taking my mouth hard and fast and angling our bodies so that I'm pressed up against the wall. I can feel his erection grinding against me, igniting the heat between my thighs and making me wet in an instant. “First lesson,” Austin tells me, nibbling my lip gently. “When we're not on the road, wear a damn skirt.” He pulls back suddenly and tosses a wink at me, continuing down the hallway to our room with a very distinct swagger in his step. With a sigh and a body pulsing with need, I follow after him.