Losing Me, Finding You(54)

“Really?” Gaine nods and winks at the waitress when she returns to collect our food order. I think he even checks out her ass when she walks away.

“Yup.” He sips his drink and focuses his gaze on the brightly colored koi tattoo that decorates the back of his wrist and hand. “Well, one day, he took his little brother along with him and he got shot by the clerk behind the counter.”

“Austin?”

“His brother. He died a few days later.” Gaine shrugs like this news doesn't bother him, but it horrifies me.

“He … died?”

“He did. And Austin's parents never forgave him for that. You'd think he'd pulled the trigger himself. There was no making up with them after that. They didn't – ”

“Look at him the same way.” My words sound flat, but they ring true. Oh my God.

“Exactly.” Gaine looks up and sees my face, noticing how blanched I've become, how sallow my skin must look. My mama always said I looked like a ghost when I was surprised. How nice of her. “Hey, I … hope this doesn't change how you look at him. I think … I think somehow that he needs you.” Gaine pauses and clears his throat, like the air's just too heavy and needs to be lightened up. When he speaks again, his voice is much perkier. “I mean, you should've seen my parents after the badger incident. They never looked at me the same way neither.”

I try to smile at Gaine, but all I can think about is Austin. Austin. Austin.




Chapter 40
I spend the day planning with Kimmi, making sure we know what's what, taking extra care to make sure we're not being followed by anyone. We haven't worked this hard in years and I don't like it.

“Who do you think the rat is?” she asks me as we walk back to the hotel alone. Kent's going to be pissed when he finds out we didn't take Mel, but I have my suspicions about that girl. I tell this to Kimmi. “Melissa? No. No.” She's already shaking her head. “Don't get me wrong, the girl's a cunt, but she's not a rat.”

“How the hell do you know?” I pause at the back entrance to the lobby. “You didn't sleep with her, did you?” Kimmi groans and wrinkles her nose.

“Dear God, no,” she says, shivering despite the heat. “I'd like to remain disease free, thank you very much.” I chuckle and shove the doors open, holding them aside for Reynolds. I'm trying to remain calm, to walk slow, but all I can really focus on is Amy and how much I want to see her again, f*ck her again, hold her in my arms. What the shit, Austin? Hold her in your arms? You writing a damn romance novel or somethin'? I shake my head to clear it and end up walking onto a scene that makes my hackles raise.

Gaine and Amy are together again.

They're drinking in the lounge, laughing too loud, leaning too close. My fists clench at my sides.

“Sparks … ” Kimmi warns, following my eyes to the scene. “Relax. Best friend, remember?”

“Thanks for the reminder, Reynolds,” I snap at her as I watch my 'best friend' flirt with my … my … well, shit, just mine. Amy is mine, whether she likes it or not. I don't know for how long or why I need to think that way, but I just do. I see red and have to close my eyes and count to ten. I've always been the jealous type, but nothing like this.

“You really like this one, don't you?” Kimmi asks, and I don't respond. I have nothing to say to that. “Remember that time I dated that girl … ” She pauses and taps her glossy lips. “Thyme? Basil?”

“Mint,” I snap. “Mint Martin.”

“Right, Mint Martin. Now that was real, true love right there.”

“You can't even remember the damn girl's name,” I say, opening my eyes and stalking across the lobby carpet with heavy steps. I hope they see me coming and move apart because I'd hate to get in there and act like an *. Kimmi stops me with a hand on my arm.

“Austin, I may not remember her name, but I remember the way her eyes fluttered closed when I kissed her, the way her lashes danced like butterflies on her cheeks. I remember the way she smelled, like roses and chamomile, and I remember the sound of her laughter like she was right here with me. If you can think of your lover in six senses, then I'd say you're nailed. They've got themselves wrapped around your heart.” She flicks the crotch of my jeans with her nails. “And your cock.”

“Six senses?” I ask, noticing that Amy is looking at me now. Her face seems funny though, like something is different … or wrong. A shiver travels down my spine and leaves me chilly.

“Sight, sound, taste, scent, touch, and other, that thing you can't figure out that means everything.” Kimmi slaps me on the back, leans up to kiss my cheek and spins on her heel in a flicker of dangling earrings and frothy hair. I watch her go and force myself to count to ten. No sense in barging in there actin' a fool. If Amy wants to sleep with Gaine then … I count to a hundred instead and turn back to face them. They're both staring at me now, waiting like they suspect something bad is walking across the room with me.

“Everything alright?” Gaine asks, setting his beer down and watching me with wary eyes. I stare at him and try to keep the anger off of my face. Mireya, I could handle. Amy … I was her first and her only, and I'm not ready to share her yet. I've got to get her out of my system first, just f*ck her like crazy until this hold she has on me goes away. I try Kimmi's stupid sense thing, just in case.