In Spite of the Bosset Life(4)
Chapter 3
Momma Dukes decided to spend some time at the house with me because my insomnia and depression was getting worse. She practically moved right in. Nola was given a much needed break but would still try to sneak over. Momma Dukes made sure Nola didn’t spend too much time worrying about me.
I was now eight months pregnant and needed all the support I could get. I was so depressed and lonely without my husband. I would sleep so much now. In my dreams, Ace would come back to me. I would dream about us being together as a family. Momma Dukes was worried I was sleeping too much. Other times she would just want me to sleep because I’d be up for days. But when I slept, Ace was there so that’s what I wanted to do when I wasn’t angry. I would stay up when I was upset at Ace for leaving. I had to result to sleep just to see my husband and that was the worst. I would be frustrated with Ace being gone and that alone could keep me up for three whole days.
Once spring came, I was on the verge of breaking. I cried so much I eventually became dehydrated. Dr. Edmonds would often come to the house to hook me up to IV’s. She would get on me about how it was important for me to eat and keep myself hydrated. Tonight was no different.
“You act like you don’t want this baby,” said Dr. Edmonds, giving me some tough love. Momma Dukes sat on the edge of my bed praying that I would stop being so stubborn.
“I want my baby, Dr. Edmonds,” I said crying. “I want my baby and I want my husband back.”
“You gon lose this baby if you won’t change, Koì! Do you like getting stuck with needles?”
“No ma’am,” I said, crying even more because I didn’t. I hated needles. Dr. Edmonds would use the butterfly needles because I complained so much. It was two in the morning and Momma Dukes had called Dr. Edmonds over because she knew something wasn’t right. Dr. Edmonds did an ultrasound and Majesty’s heartbeat was still beating strong. It was my heart that was the problem.
“You having this baby in less than a month, okay! I been with you this long and I refuse to give up after all this time. Your husband would be very disappointed knowing you are giving up like this. You need to start fighting and hold that pretty head up.”
“I know. I gotta do better,” I said, letting Momma Dukes wipe my tears.
“You okay Koì?” asked Kori, coming in my room with her pjs on while wiping the sleep out her eyes. Kash was right behind her. Sarrii and Sonaii stood off to the side.
“Mommy’s okay. I just had a little anxiety attack. I’m okay now, though. C’mere,” I said, motioning them over to my bed. Dr. Edmonds moved over so Kori and Kash could climb into the bed next to me. Kori laid her head in my lap. The twins gave me hugs and sat on the floor looking up at me. I patted my bed and they got up. It was so cute how they moved exactly the same. They sat in the same position with their hands in the lap.
“We need to pray. I feel like we need to pray,” said Momma Dukes, holding her bible. I did a deep sigh because I hadn’t prayed since I was in prison. Dr. Edmonds grabbed Kash and Momma Dukes’ hand and we all followed suit. We all held hands as Momma Dukes lead us in prayer.
“Dear heavenly father, we come to you today in need. We come to you with aching hearts. The Jordan family needs your mercy that we know you can only give. Send your power tonight because we know your holy above all others. Jesus, I’m asking you give us strength and healing right now! Give Koì the strength she desperately needs. Lord, watch over my son where he may be. On this side or that side. Send your glory because Lord, my family need it right now! That’s where every healing comes from. In Jesus name, Amen!” Everyone said amen and raised their head. Momma Dukes could pray one hell of a prayer. I hugged the kids because I needed some love.
“Momma Dukes, thank you. I think we have done all what we can do for now. It’s in the Lord’s hands and I’m going to see you guys. Hopefully under better circumstances,” said Dr. Edmonds, looking at me. She packed up and left. That night Kash, Kori, the twins, and Momma Dukes all slept in my bed. I was so grateful for everyone that was by my side. I knew it was hard on them because everyone was worried about me and the baby. Nola came the next day to check up on me.
“Friend, you gon eat?” asked Nola as she watched me pick over the food. It wasn’t like it was nasty, I just wasn’t in the mood. Nola had smashed her food. I had just charged Ace’s phone and looked at all our old text messages. That man didn’t delete nothing. I got to read messages from when we weren’t even together. It brought back old memories. That was my bestie!
“Yeah,” I said nonchalantly. I picked over the food some more. Nola often brought me food and tried to keep me upbeat.
“When you gone take down this Christmas tree? It’s April, almost May,” said Nola, looking at the six-foot tree Ace had to have. The same gifts were under the tree that we never unwrapped. Unni and Akamai took down all the trees except mine and Majesty’s. I wanted to keep those two up. All the gifts were now packed against my wall. I thought by keeping them up, Ace had time to come home and open them.
“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it,” I said, eating some of the food. I wondered what was in some of the gifts because I honestly forgot what me or Ace brought.
“C’mon. We gone open these gifts today,” said Nola. She sat her phone on the floor and sat Indian style in front of the tree. She was humming and rocking back and forth. My sis could blow. The humming eased my nerves and I called her at night, so she could sing to me and Majesty. I was too big to get down on the floor next to her but I brought a chair over.