In Spite of the Bosset Life(3)

Within a couple of weeks, I was back in the routine of things. I had gotten used to being in jail because I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life there. Nola had this great grand yacht party for me. I was overwhelmed with love. Everyone came in support. We even released two doves off for Ace. I wished my husband would come home. It was so hard because I didn’t want to believe my husband wasn’t coming back.

Sebastian sat me and Momma Dukes down after the get together. He explained that Ace’s plane was found in the Mediterranean Sea. The crew members and pilot’s families were already informed that their loved ones didn’t make it. I was so heartbroken because these people had families and friends.

“No Sebastian...nooo,” I said, trying to stand. Sebastian said that Ace most likely didn’t make it either and that’s when I passed out.

I woke up in the hospital with IV’s in my arms. Everyone was by my side and was patiently waiting for me to wake up. The doctor explained that my nervous system hadn’t adjusted to the changes in my body and I had adequate blood flow to my brain. That caused me to have these passing out spells.

This wasn’t my first time passing out. In jail, they never could explain why I passed out frequently. They just took me to the infirmary, gave me water, and sent me to my cell.

My personal doctor that Ace hired quickly came to check up on me once she saw my name pop up in the system. We were close and she hadn’t saw me in months and didn’t know why. I excused everyone from the room except Momma Dukes. Momma Dukes wasn’t leaving my bedside for one second anyway.

I explained to Dr. Edmonds I had been incarcerated. I even told her about Ace’s disappearance and his plane crashing. Her heart ached for me and she even shed a few tears. Dr. Edmonds was very close to me and Ace. Anytime I had a question, I could call her. Dr. Edmonds would call Ace to get on me about things she thought I wasn’t doing. It sure worked because Ace made sure I did everything she said. She was a very good doctor and I trusted her. Ace trusted her with me and our child.

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner? You should’ve came to me as soon as you were released to society. Hell, you could’ve call me while in jail. I would’ve came. Them prison doctors can’t give you the same care out here in the real world,” said Dr. Edmonds, holding my hand. Tears was falling down because I could sense she really cared.

“Child, you haven’t been to no doctor since you came home?” asked Momma Dukes, looking at me like I was crazy. She thought I was on it like she knew me to be.

“Them doctor’s visits cost Momma Dukes,” I said in a low, childlike voice. I felt like a bad parent now.

“Well, guess what? Ace already paid for everything. Your husband was looking out for you, if you didn’t know. When he hired me, he paid for everything from the jump. I know things seem crazy now but he already paid everything up. Your baby girl is taken care of for years to come. You don’t have to worry about one hospital bill. You come here anytime. Even if he didn’t, I would’ve paid for it myself. You’re an awesome woman.” Dr. Edmonds was so real and genuine.

“My baby boy,” said Momma Dukes, shaking her head. I could see her on the verge of crying. I looked away because I couldn’t see her like this. She loved her son as much as me.

“My husband did all that?”

“He did,” said Dr. Edmonds, nodding her head yes and hugging me. “I want to see you in my office first thing Monday. But right now, we about to see what this baby looking like. I’ll have them get you going on them prenatal pills again too. You need it honey,” said Dr. Edmonds, rubbing my belly. “You thought of any names yet?”

“Majesty Lee Jordan,” I said, smiling at the name Ace picked. I thought back on when he took me to see this race on the Riverfront. After we went to Sonic’s, he was asking me how I was doing. Ace had taken me to get an abortion and was right by my side. I was so down because I never thought I would ever get an abortion again. I talked about chicks who stayed in the clinic not being responsible. Ace told me one day I would have a child that would be ‘majesty’ and I was now. We were. I wondered if he knew that that child would be his child too. He could have such a smart mouth and say slick shit. I missed him terribly. Ace come home.

“Majesty Lee...beautiful as her mother, Koì.”

“Thank You. Ace picked it.” My mind stayed on Ace. He was all I ever thought about. After my ultrasound and getting my new prescriptions, I was discharged. Hearing my baby’s strong heartbeat lifted my spirits but I still felt depressed.



***

I was lying in my bed crying. I was happy I was out of jail but I felt empty. I needed Ace. I held on to the creme Fendi blanket we often had foreplay under. I could smell his scent still and that made me cry even more. Tonight, I told Nola to stay home with her husband. She had been neglecting her family to be with me. Tonight, I wanted to be alone. I wanted to cry and not hear no one tell me it was gon be alright. Everything wasn’t alright.

“I need you Ace,” I said, letting my emotions speak. I picked up the picture on my nightstand. “You said you’d never leave. Now, who’s going to comfort me?” Tears fell on the picture and I wiped them off. Ace was my best friend and soulmate. I was put on earth for him. “No one could ever do for me like you did. I don’t know if I ever told you that. I don’t want no one to try to take your place. I won’t let them. Damn Ace, come home. You need to be here at home. The baby need you...I need you...your son needs you.” I was crying into the blanket, breaking down. “I should’ve just let you do you. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t had left me all alone. I should’ve let you make the call on when you needed to say enough was enough. I feel I got myself in this one. I was on you so hard constantly. But now...I’m so lost. I don’t know if I should go left or right.” I laid on my side crying and talking to the picture I had lying on the pillow. “You was doing the best you could do and I didn’t take it. I didn’t see it. I didn’t want to. You were so gifted in loving me. No one cares for me like you did. My momma or my daddy didn’t care but you did. You cared so much. You cared without a care. You saw my flaws as beautiful orchids. Remember you use to buy me white Orchids because I hate roses? Ace, I don’t know what I’m gon do...” I cried even harder. “I have nothing. I can’t bear knowing your plane is in the sea somewhere...Ace, I’m lost and I need you. I’m so stressed, I’ll kill myself. I can’t even do it myself. I wish someone just do it for me...I love you M’Acesyn Orlando Jordan,” I said, closing my eyes. I knew if I went to sleep I could talk to him in my dreams. He was always right there. Maybe he would tell me to hold on a little longer. I prayed that in my dreams everything wouldn’t be a dream. I hated only seeing him in my sleep.