I Love You to Death(62)

Neither of us has to go to work, so we don’t leave his bed for the rest of the day.

By the time Jared comes home, Luke and I are curled up together on the couch watching TV. I’m lying half on him and still wearing his clothes, while Luke’s arms are wrapped around me, one of his hands hidden under my t-shirt, resting against my bare skin. I look up when the front door opens, but Luke doesn’t move, just gently tightens his arms around me as he calls out. "Hey man, how are you?"
"Hey," Jared says as he walks into the living room, glancing at me, "Hey Ash."
"Hi," I answer back, smiling warily at him. I’m not sure what I’m expecting from Jared either, but as I lie here watching Luke and Jared discuss last night, Jared telling Luke his guitars are at Ben’s, at how drunk the two of them had gotten, I’m surprised at how normal it all feels. I don’t know if I expected Jared to say something or make some comment about us suddenly leaving last night or about me still being here, but I did not expect him to say nothing at all. To act as if me lying here on the couch, in their house, wearing Luke’s clothes and wrapped all around Luke, is just completely normal.
"Anyway, I’m going to bed, massive hang over still, Ben is a f*cking demon when he brings the whisky out. See you both in the morning."
I can only say, "Yeah," as Jared wanders off. When his bedroom door shuts, I turn to Luke and ask, "He doesn’t care if I stay here, he won’t mind?"
Luke just smiles at me. "No of course not."
I lean my arms on his chest, raising myself up so I can look him in the eye. "You’re sure?" I ask.
Luke leans over and grabs his phone, hitting some buttons before he shows it to me. As I glance at the screen, I see a text from Jared.

Stayin at Ben’s – have fun!
C u 2morow nite

And then a response from Luke, sent sometime this morning.

Thanks J
Ash is gonna stay some more, that ok?

And a last text from Jared.

Of course – she can stay as long as she wants
Song was wicked ;)

I don’t know what to say. I look back up at Luke who’s watching me like he’s not sure what my reaction will be. I’m surprised by both the relief and the absolute happiness I feel right now. It’s definitely not what I expected.
Eventually Luke says, "Ash, you okay?"
And all I can say back is, "I think we should go to bed too."
Laughing now, Luke pulls me towards him. "Oh you do huh?" he whispers before kissing me.
I realise then, he hasn’t stopped touching me all day.
And I realise how much I love that.
I don’t ever want to leave.
∞

A week after their concert, I’m still at Luke’s house. Every morning when I’ve woken up and we have to go to work, he wraps his arm around me, walks me to my apartment first and says, "Pack some clothes, stay tonight?"
And I can’t help but smile at him and answer, "Yes."
I no longer wake up each morning so afraid. Instead, I wake to fingers moving gently over my bare skin. When I open my eyes, I see Luke is already awake and when I whisper to him, "Can’t sleep?" He just smiles as he silently drags me closer to him, kissing me deeply, so deeply. And suddenly I can’t sleep anymore either. Every morning I’m woken by his touch and his smile and it slowly starts to take some of my fear away.
Seconds, minutes and hours turn to days, nights and weeks, all spent with Luke. We tell no one at work of what’s happening between us and we both enjoy the secret. I’m certain they all see what’s circling around us though, the magnetic force pulling us like gravity towards each other.
All day I struggle to keep my hands from touching him.
He teases me, making it hard by sneaking in soft touches along exposed skin, leaving me tingling. He finds me amongst the shelves of books to whisper beautiful words and place a secret kiss on my neck that has me melting. He follows me into the cold room to wordlessly kiss me senseless, so I have to stay in there for a few minutes after he leaves, just to get my breathing back under control.
And in the evenings, I keep going home with him.
We lie on his bed while he plays his guitar and writes words for his songs. We talk endlessly by the moonlight or watch movies curled together on the couch. He cooks dinner for me and we eat together, often with Jared too, talking and laughing. They both laugh when I attempt to cook dinner for them. We sit in darkened cinemas barely seeing the screen. I go with him and watch the band practice. They all know of course. They’ve known since before it even started.
And all night, I never stop touching him.
I trace the lines of his tattoos in a way that I know distracts him. I run my hands over his smooth, warm skin. I kiss him now, making him breathless. I lie there listening to his heart beat and I’m still so hungry for him. I feel more alive than ever.
And every night I fall dreamlessly asleep in his arms, waking to hear his heart beat still.
∞

Towards the end of July, Mia calls from Chicago. I’m still at Luke’s place.
"She has a house at the Cape," Luke says. "Someone from her work, they can’t go anymore. She wants to know if she comes out, will we go there with her."
"We?" I ask with a smile on my face.
"Yeah we," Luke says smiling back at me, his fingers playing with my hair.
"So she knows about us?" I ask, teasing him as I slip my fingers into the front pockets of his jeans and pull him towards me.
He blushes and it’s adorable. "Yeah she knows about us, is that okay?"