I Love You to Death(65)

I groan but say nothing.
We don’t come out until the water runs cold.
The rest of the week passes by, one perfect day after another. We do nothing, just spend it together. Days on the beach, all of us relaxing in the sun and evenings cooking dinner together, laughing and talking around the table. Nights I spend alone with Luke, just the two of us wrapped around each other, still unable to get enough of each other. Both of us still constantly hungry, still touching, still tasting. And both of us falling into a deep sleep, only to wake up and do it all over again. It feels like the most perfect dream is being repeated over and over and I don’t ever want to wake up.
On the last day we are here, I wake early and for once, Luke is still sleeping. I lie beside him just watching him, a rare chance for me and I just want to remember this single perfect moment forever. Because as I watch him, I marvel again at how it all seems too good to be true; him, us, everything and I still don’t know what I’m supposed to feel about it all, what I’m supposed to feel for him. If those words I thought I heard him whisper to me, were even real.
The only thing I do know is that I want to hold onto him, hold on to us, more than I’ve ever wanted to hold onto anything. And I’m trying really hard not to let that scare me.
I watch as my hand involuntarily sweeps lightly over his soft hair, almost as if I’m proving to myself that he’s real. I watch my fingers as they trace his eyebrow, his cheekbone and his jaw. I see his slow smile appear as my finger runs over his lips. "Hey," I whisper when his eyes open. His irises are almost hidden, the early morning dawn darkening them, but as they watch me, I know I could so easily fall into them and never leave.
I feel his hand as it slides under the sheets and around my waist, lighting my whole body on fire. His fingers dig in as he pulls me close to him and my skin is singing from his touch. Luke rolls us over, his body pressing me into the bed, blanketing me in his skin, his warmth, his smell. He smiles again, whispering, "Hey beautiful," and sending me flying, as everything inside of me slowly flips over. I want to hang on to this so badly.
Then he kisses me, softly, slowly and I’m drowning again, drowning in him, in us. And I don’t care. I know I could stay here forever, in this single moment with him, and be completely happy. It scares me, how easily I find myself doing this, scares me, how much I want him, how much I want us. It terrifies me that I could lose it.
His hands brush my hair back, cradling my face as he lifts his head and looks down at me. I watch him as I run my fingers lightly up his back before trailing them slowly down his sides. I see the change in his eyes, the sexy smile that appears on his lips.
"You are the most beautiful sight to wake up to," he whispers to me, his eyes darkening again. I smile as my fingers continue to move over his warm skin, my own body coming alive as I touch him. I pull him back to me and kiss him again.
No matter how scared I am though, I can’t seem to stop. I know I’m falling. Falling and falling and falling and I don’t even care. I’m in trouble, I should be afraid, and buried deep inside of me, that fear is there, alive and kicking, wanting to get out. But right now I’m not letting it, I’m pushing it further down and holding on to all the other feelings instead. I can’t ignore them anymore. I don’t want to ignore them. He’s all I want and I just can’t get enough of him.

Later that day when everyone is awake we head to the beach one last time. I decide to talk to Mia about Jared. We’re walking along the sand while the guys try to catch waves. When I ask her, "What’s the story with you and Jared then?" I smile as she blushes. So it isn’t a one sided crush after all.
She ducks her head as she says, "There is no story, not now anyway."
"So why don’t you make one?" I suggest.
Mia links her arm through mine, "Because he’s Luke’s best friend."
I laugh. "So, Luke wouldn’t care, doesn’t care actually."
She looks at me. "You’ve talked about us?" she asks, her cheeks getting redder.
I can’t help but laugh again as I tug gently on her arm. "Maybe, but like a smart person once said to me Mia, it’s pretty obvious to everyone."
"Shit," she says. "Shit, shit"
"What’s wrong, why don’t you do something? You obviously really like him and he clearly likes you. He’s a really nice guy."
She smiles now. "Yeah I know he is."
"So?"
"Ahhh, I don’t know, it’s complicated!" she says frustrated. "A part of me thinks I shouldn’t because of Luke, but another part of me is scared, of doing something about it, especially after so long, after everything that’s already happened. I don’t know, I don’t want to lose him as a friend if it doesn’t work out. Plus, there’s the little issue of me living in Chicago."
"Minor details Mia, minor details. And from what I hear, it worked once, so surely it can work again. There’s nothing that can’t be overcome for the sake of true love."
"Spoken from the woman who is in love of course," Mia responds pinching me.
I suddenly stop walking, Mia pulling on my arm as she keeps going. I feel as though I’ve just been hit with a sledge hammer. I feel as though my whole body just stopped working and then everything inside me started up again, only at ten times the normal speed.
And that’s when it hits me.
I am.
I am in love.
With Luke.
I am in love with Luke.
My hand comes to my mouth as a shocked noise escapes. My heart is racing as I stand here, watching the water run up to our feet and back out to sea again. I watch my toes as they slowly sink into the wet sand and I wonder; how is it that I didn’t see this coming? How did I not know this was happening?